Tag: scandals

Chris Christie Thought Bridgegate Was Totally LOL, Is Liar, SURPRISE!

Chris Christie might be a lying dirty crook? NO WAY.

Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane Found Guilty Of So Many Things, Bye PA AG Kathleen Kane!

Kane was found guilty of leaking information from a grand jury hearing and then lying about it.
This fucking guy

Surprise! ‘Chris Christie Is A Lying Liar Who Lies About Stuff!’ Love, His Staff

UH OH! It looks as though Donald Trump's faithful manservant, Chris Christie, might be in a spot of bother, again!

Trump Advisor Shares Beautiful Dream Of Having Hillary Clinton Shot By Death Squads

Al Baldasaro -- a former New Hampshire state rep and retired Marine Sergeant whose job it is to advise Donald Trump on veteran's affairs -- shared some thoughts Tuesday on the Jeff Kuhner Show, the best of local rightwing...

Ken Starr Loves Bill Clinton Now, What Is Even Going On Here?

In other news, Starr is losing his position as president of Baylor University after covering up some rapes!
Scenes from the hotel rooms at the convention, probably.

NRA Convention Is Jizz-Soaked Festival Of Guns, Fear, Hillary-Hate, More Jizz

The 2015 NRA Convention concluded this weekend in Nashville, and despite the fact that attendees were not allowed to carry their guns every single place they wanted, even if they thought they saw an ISIS or a black person,...
The Clintons give Mama such a sad.

Those Uncouth Clintons Have Once Again Given Peggy Noonan The Vapors

The Clintons! The damn Clintons! She ground her teeth as she dumped Alka-Seltzer into her gin, sending waves of liquor splashing over the lip of the glass and along her wrist. She paid no attention as she lifted the...
Clint! Clint! Clint!

Secret Service Didn’t Notice Bullets Hit White House, Is That Bad?

Sometime today Julia Pierson, the director of the Secret Service, will sit at a witness table in front of the House Oversight Committee and its chairman, the always execrable Rep. Darrell Issa, and try to answer a few questions....

Joe Wilson Wants To Know Why Obama Cares More About Gassed Children In Syria Than Benghazi & IRS Atrocities

In a desperate bid to be remembered for something even stupider than yelling "You lie!" about a factual statement in a presidential address, Joe Wilson used his time at Wednesday's House hearings on whether to blow stuff up in...

I’m Sorry, NSA

To whom it may concern at the National Security Agency, I’m sorry. I realize you have 315 million citizens to monitor, but I am certain you have had to pay particular attention to my case file, given my affinity for terrorist-related...

Celebritrash Side-Boob Rag: Obama Worse Than Nixon!

The patriots at Globe Magazine have been warning us from the very start that this Obama was a menace, but did we listen? No, and shame be upon us! Where the hell were we back in February of 2008,...

Obama’s Approval Rating Looking Awesome Despite One Million Watergates

How much do the sheeple love their terrible president, even though he invented the IRS, pogromed the AP, and murdered Ben Gozzi? According to CNN, the Nile of lame stream media, 53% of Americans still love Barack Obama. What?!...

New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999

It took a while, sure, but the Marion Berry copycats are suddenly coming out in droves! (They are just really really slow copycats because of their drug-induced torpor.) That is, if two counts as "droves," and we figure fuck...

The Deficit Is Falling Rapidly, But Who Cares Because Look At All These Forgettable Scandals!

Your Wonkette is confused! We were under the impression that the deficit was the single greatest threat to our American Freedom, because it is a big number! We were told that incorporated Americans were su-su-su-SCARED, and they would soon...

Good News America! Beyonce Lip-Synched The National Anthem, So We Can Finally Impeach?

Between Beyonce lip-synching her rendition of our national anthem and the 3,000-calorie lunch, we think we have officially found Obama's Second Term Scandals. Where was Beyonce during Benghazi, and will she avoid testifying by faking a vocal cord injury?...

Sources: America’s Sweetheart Monica Lewinsky To Open Wide, Tell All

Since it's obvious that all honorable and well-compensated jobs have disappeared into a puff of Internet ether, never to return, it's important that every American turn any brush with fame, no matter now ridiculous or humiliating, into a round...