Wonkette

Here is a helpful tip for all you local lawmakers who want to look at porn in your office: DON’T PRINT IT OUT AND THEN LEAVE YOUR PORNOGRAPHY LYING AROUND. Oh, and if it is horrible child pornography? First, quit looking at that shit, and second, DO NOT LEAVE IT LYING AROUND. Sadly, New Jersey Assemblyman Neil Cohen seems not to have mastered this valuable concept. MORE »

MAIN STREAM MEDIAS: Here, after we’re already bored of the story, are 53 news articles about the mill worker John Edwards and his weird Beverly Hills hotel bathroom adventure and “Rielle Hunter” and Adultery and bastard children. [Google News]

Hey, here is a sexy state scandal while we wait for Hopey to set up his podium ‘n stuff! Pennsylvania State House Majority Leader H. William DeWeese might have to resign because his chief of staff allegedly hired some youngster he (the chief of staff, Michael Manzo) was banging to do pretty much nothing for $30,000 a year. Because all these people are Democrats, it’s a boring heterosexual affair, and while this story could be improved if the gal had been making, oh, ten times that pitiful amount, we’ll work with it. Hilarious details after the jump. MORE »

So apparently Sarah Palin, our favorite Alaskan governor, has a sister, and her sister was married to a state trooper named Wooten until they went through a “bitter divorce.” And then Palin and her husband and various others talked to Wooten’s boss, the public safetey commissioner, and said…Well, nobody knows what they said, but the public safety commissioner felt PRESSURED to FIRE WOOTEN. But he didn’t! And then mysteriously he got fired instead. MORE »

The Great Romancer of Detroit, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, may not have confined his sex-LOLs to former aide Christine Beatty. Now the prosecutor in his perjury case, Kym Worthy, has changed the wording in criminal charges to suggest that he was whoring around on women besides Beatty and his wife. In response, this comical doofus said that Worthy was just hoping to use “the racism of this region” against him. MORE »

Oh man, weren’t we done with this guy? When did everybody know he had affairs and mistresses? We knew in October — if by “knew” you mean we posted some crap that the National Enquirer “reported” and the Huffington Post repeated. But now, suddenly, it seems there might be a pretty good prime-time speech slot open on probably Tuesday at the Democratic Convention, because John-John’s got (an alleged) love child! MORE »

Karl Rove ignored a subpeona and skipped a House Judiciary Committee hearing this morning because he had “prior commitments” or somesuch. Rumor has it the commitments involved corn cobs, a tank of nitrous, and one very lucky goat on a Sicilian hillside, which naturally took precedence over this little attorney-firing selective prosecution [so many Justice Deparment scandals to keep track of! -- Ed.] flap. [Think Progress, YouTube]

Sexy text-messager Kwame Kilpatrick doesn’t want his “legal problems” to reflect poorly on Barack Obama, so he won’t be attending a rally to support the candidate in Detroit today. “Legal problems” is certainly one way of putting it! Pretty much everybody in the Detroit metropolitan area has tried to get Mayor Kilpatrick to resign after it came out that he and his staffer ladyfriend basically got a cop fired and later lied about it, all so that they could keep texting each other about how much they wanted to LOL each other in a sexy fashion at the Benz Chili Bowl. Naturally, when the city council tried to fire him he vetoed the motion because that would be Undemocratic. MORE »

Dina Matos McGreevey is still divorcing ex-New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey, because he is a Gay American and she doesn’t like that, even though she reportedly liked getting fucked by Jim’s sexy staffer Teddy Pedersen, while Jim watched and worked up the enthusiasm to fuck Dina with his own penis, after they all enjoyed sexy dinners at (really) T.G.I. Friday’s, in New Jersey. Anyway, Dina still denies the swinging TGIF stuff, and she wants Jim to give her enough money for a helicopter and three houses. MORE »

Poor sad ex-TGI Friday’s gay romancer and New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey is so poor that he lives on cat food and canned beans, so he cannot spare any wooden nickles from his bindle for his betrayed former wife who “should have known he was gay” when she married him. MORE »