Tag: scandal

Wikileaks Now Featuring Hottest Recipes From Devil Hillary Clinton’s Kitchen

EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS show Clinton campaign chair makes an absolutely bitchin' risotto.
The candy is my penis

Huzzah! Finally, A Nice Sleazeball Sex Scandal To Lighten Things Up, Whew!

Gosh, it seems like FOREVER since yr Wonkette has gotten to DC-gossip about some legislator getting his ween where it don't belong, so thanks, Tennessee! The Volunteer State served up a doozy of a point-and-laugh experience late last week, when...

Hillary’s Veep Revealed, And It Is Beyoncé! Your Weekly Dance Party

You come listen to all these songs RIGHT NOW, because Vice President Beyoncé said so.
This is what Ted Cruz looks like when he begs for money.

Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!

People, we may have to issue a correction here. We reported at you this morning that Ted Cruz had, for the first time in his life, growed himself a dick. Of course, we meant that in the sense that...
So...very...tired...

Ben Carson: Running For President Is Haaaaard

Ben Carson sat down with the Washington Post a couple days before Christmas to let them know running for president isn't the nonstop party train of fun the average American might assume it is. But even though he's been...
He's crying because he's a LOSER.

David Vitter Trashed Like A Soiled Didy In Louisiana Governor’s Race

The David Vitter Era, if there ever was such a thing, is over. The rightwing senator from Louisiana was flushed away like so much doody in the state's runoff election for Governor Saturday, losing to Democrat John Bel Edwards...
OOOH DADDY WE GET TO DO TEEVEE AGAIN!

Duggars To Announce New Jesus-Approved Boning Rituals Very Soon!

Oh, what a wonder it is, as your 19 children barely reach the age of sexual maturity and you set to the task of finding arranged marriage Christian diddle-sex partners for them, so they may each have 19 children...
Was there any other picture we could have used?

Why Dumbass Republicans Want To Impeach IRS For Doing Nothing Wrong: A Wonksplainer

Remember how we reported that the Department of Justice determined the IRS DID NOT harass teabagging morans, despite the lies of Darrell Issa & Co? We’ve known this has been a non-scandal for YEARS (proof here and here), but...
What is she hiding? WHAT IS SHE HIDING?

Hillary Clinton Apologizes For Whatever It Was She Did While Being Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton apologized Tuesday for having used a private email server while she was secretary of state, acknowledging in an interview with ABC News, “As I look back at it now, even though it was allowed, I should have...
We don't really think Rep. Gamrat is a 1940s Messican lady

Teabagger Fornicator Writes Million Words About Jesus, No Words About Resigning

Hey, guys, just in case you spent your whole weekend worrying whether Michigan state Rep. Todd Courser -- the teabagger who had an affair with fellow teabagging legislator Cindy Gamrat and then plotted to cover it up with a fake smear...
Classic pulp covers just don't account for women as equal participants in legislative diddling

Christian Teabagger Lady Rep. Only Banged Her Crazy Colleague, Never Broke Any Laws

Michigan state Rep. Cindy Gamrat, who did adulterous sex things with certifiable loon and fellow state House member Todd Courser, made her first public statement on the scandal Friday, apologizing for her conduct but insisting that she didn't break...
Those blackmailers have some pretty hot stuff!

Michigan Teabagging Fornicator Still Making Up Super Amazing Sh*t

The incredibly stupid saga of Michigan state Rep. Todd Courser continues to unfold, with former allies in the Tea Party urging him to resign, and Courser stating even more adamantly that he's not going to knuckle under to the...
Art swiped shamelessly from the incomparable Bill Griffith. OK, with some shame.

Head Foot-The-Ball Guy Resigns In Huge FIFA Scandal We All Care About Very Much

Wow, have you been following the incredibly fascinating FIFA scandal as closely as we have? As sports-related fuck-tussles go, it's like the Chicago Black Sox times DeflateGate plus BENGHAZI! It's all about corruption and bribery in the governing body...
"Honey, take a picture of me doing selfies with the poors!"

Aaron Schock Snuck Hot Male Personal Photographer On India Trip, How Romantic!

Rude journalists are just out for Illinois Congresscritter Aaron Schock's blood these days, scouring his Instagram for pictures that look like they came from sexy, unreported trips that the taxpayers might have bought for him, due to what seems to be...
Up to no good, maybe or maybe not

Not Ready For Hillary? Too Bad, Facebook Already Made Her President

In case you didn't get the memo, it is already 2016. It is soooooo already 2016. In fact, Facebook is already projecting the winner of the next presidential election, so everyone else who's just getting started on teasing about...
Finally a place for his talents

Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny.

Congratulations to disgraced torturer ex-Rep. Allen West on finding a jerb! (We were going to say "honest work," but this is Allen West we're talking about, after all.) According to a big ol' press release, come Jan. 2, 2015, the former disgraced...