Tag Archives: scalia

  That's Why You're The Judge And I'm The Law-Talkin' Guy

Florida Tries To Ban Teen Sexting, Forgets One Small Detail

That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talkin' guy.
Florida’s brilliant legislature was in such a rush to get tough on sexxxy teens sending hawt newd pix to one another that they forgot to make their law enforceable in court. Oops! Read more on Florida Tries To Ban Teen Sexting, Forgets One Small Detail…
  Trollerderby

Satanic Temple Rides Hobby Lobby To Obvious Conclusion: Abortions For Everyone! (Updated)

Careful of your 'empty hole,' ladies and gents.
Update: Yes, the Hobby Lobby decision was of course written by Samuel Alito, Antonin Scalia’s Mini-Me. Wonkette regrets the error from here to British Columbia Alberta. The only thing that can stop a bad guy who’s trolling is a good guy who’s trolling. Enter the Satanic Temple, a group of happy warriors (for Satan) who have graced these digital pages before. This time, they’re taking Justice Antonin Scalia’s Samuel Alito’s majority opinion in Hobby Lobby and smearing it with the blood of the unborn, for freedom. Read more on Satanic Temple Rides Hobby Lobby To Obvious Conclusion: Abortions For Everyone! (Updated)…
  explainer

Here, Let Us Explain At You About The Voting Rights Act

Perhaps you all haven’t noticed, but it turns out that we, the people, elected a Black president! Not once, but TWICE! This, of course, is unacceptable and can never. happen. again. Did we mention that it is a great time to revisit the constitutionality of the Voting Rights Act, which is just a coincidence and has nothing to do with the unacceptability of having elected a Black president? Twice? Here, let us explain at you about the Voting Right Act and what it is, and what certain people (YOU KNOW WHO WE MEAN) are saying about why we don’t need it, and what will probably happen to it. Read more on Here, Let Us Explain At You About The Voting Rights Act…
  a chicken in every pot and a nuke in every garage

Why Does Liberal Weenie Antonin Scalia Not Love Guns At All?

When you think Antonin Scalia, you think squishy liberal, right? Who doesn’t? He of the Throw Everyone Out Of The US But Whitey Decision and the distressingly narrow view of the 14th Amendment — he is our go-to guy for feel-good law! That’s why, according to Larry Pratt, prez of the Gun Owners of America (we think they are like the NRA’s younger, even stupider, brother, but we do not care enough to actually look it up), tells us that Scalia is way too soft on the Second Amendment. He feels too much. Read more on Why Does Liberal Weenie Antonin Scalia Not Love Guns At All?…
  justice is blind and also white and male

Justice Scalia Full Of Interesting Opinions About Your Sodomy

Justice Antonin Scalia wants everyone to just keep their panties on, everyone, because “We can disagree with one another on the law without taking it personally.” Totally! So when he says that laws forbidding abortion, the death penalty and buttseks are clearly constitutional, don’t take it personally, gays and criminals and pregnant ladies. After all, figuring what is unconstitutional is a “no-brainer,” so don’t blame him, blame the Founders, who didn’t see fit to specifically enumerate rights for anyone other than educated, white, male landowners living in the early modern period. Read more on Justice Scalia Full Of Interesting Opinions About Your Sodomy…
  gabbagoul

Justices Scalia And Kagan Go Hunting For The Most Dangerous Game

No, Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, DO NOT go hunting with Antonin Scalia. Do not get dressed up in your camouflage hunting gear. Do not pick up a weapon. Do not get in the van. “He’s made a huntress out of me,” Kagan told Mike Gousha, host of “On the Issues” at Marquette’s law school – and about 240 law students listening in on their talk. The justices have bagged pheasant and quail, and plan to go after bigger game out West this fall. Read more on Justices Scalia And Kagan Go Hunting For The Most Dangerous Game…
  exclusive sing-alongs

Wonkette Sings Songs With Scalia At Italian Dinner Thing

Why did your Wonkette attend the National Italian American Foundation’s 35th Pasta Gala last Saturday? Honestly, all we wanted was a photograph of Yogi Berra that we could give to our grandparents. Did Yogi Berra even show up, though? Of course not, so we had to hang out with Scalia and his saggy neck fat instead. It wasn’t all bad, though: We got to sing songs with him! Videographer Extraordinaire Liz Glover has put together a fun sing-along movie for you to watch. It’s mostly just Antonin Scalia singing his favorite tune from The Godfather: Part II soundtrack, but there is also a wonderful clip of your Riley Waggaman running up to Scalia and saying, “It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Alito,” and then shaking his hand. Someone had been drinking that night! Read more on Wonkette Sings Songs With Scalia At Italian Dinner Thing…