Rudy Giuliani Says Funny Things On Conference Call
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
As you know, the worst mayor ever of anything, Rudy Giuliani, will deliver the keynote address at his party’s convention. Rudy Giuliani is a fucking stupid rat-demon whose pathetic 5th place campaign couldn’t even make it past January after 12 months of exploiting, for political purposes, the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians whose safety he, as mayor of the attacked city, was supposed to protect. He really is the most appropriate symbol for the Republican convention that follows eight years of George W. Bush, although probably not for the same reasons that the speaker selection committee chose him. Anyway he had a conference call today and just completely bombed on it, because he’s fucking stupid. MORE »
As you know, the worst mayor ever of anything, Rudy Giuliani, will deliver the keynote address at his party’s convention. Rudy Giuliani is a fucking stupid rat-demon whose pathetic 5th place campaign couldn’t even make it past January after 12 months of exploiting, for political purposes, the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians whose safety he, as mayor of the attacked city, was supposed to protect. He really is the most appropriate symbol for the Republican convention that follows eight years of George W. Bush, although probably not for the same reasons that the speaker selection committee chose him. Anyway he had a conference call today and just completely bombed on it, because he’s fucking stupid. MORE »
Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as 
Hillary Clinton 
One short day after George Bush made official his
Peacemaker in Chief President George W. Bush 
President George Walker Bush spent his Tuesday in Saudi Arabia (they finish Tuesday earlier over there because the sun comes at different times), and boy boy boy did he have a whale of a time. He got to watch ponies dance, play with curvy fun swords, look at magical books that brown people read — why the Saudi King even let him try on some pretty dresses! Those lovable wire photographers at the AP caught it all, so check out party pix after the jump. 
Bush would like Congress to approve the sale of Joint Direct Attack Munitions (like the ones pictured) and other weapons worth $20 billion to Saudi Arabia, but he’s not going to officially ask them to do so until January 15th, 2008 so they can enjoy their holidays without having to make hard decisions and crap. A bipartisan group of Congressman promised to oppose the sale unless the Saudis assured us it would never use the weapons against our troops or Israel. It’s a good thing they come loaded with Mission Impossible-style self destruct modules.. oh, they don’t? I guess it’s good, then, that the Saudi regime is so totally stable that $20 billion in weapons couldn’t possibly outlast it. [
So Laura “Crazy Eyes” Bush was traipsing around the Middle East this past week, adorably pretending to care about dangerous terrorist women’s breasts because… well, because she’s basically taken over both Condoleezza Rice’s and Karen Hughes’ jobs. At one stop, somebody got sick of looking at her head, so they handed her a scarf and, OMG, she put it on! OUTRAGE! Why does the first lady hate America? Think Progress has a superfun roundup of all the moaning and hand-wringing. My favorite: 
For seven long, horrible years, we could at least count on Laura Bush staying out of the way and letting her clever husband and his henchmen destroy the planet. She was like the Mrs. Cleaver of Hell — and America slept just a little better knowing that the various Bush family members knew their place, if nothing else. We wouldn’t wake up to learn Laura hadn’t bombed Iran or flooded New Orleans. But in the awful twilight of the Bush Administration, it appears our First Lady of Oppression is no longer content to load up on Xanax and smile creepily through the president’s speeches. Meet the new, activist first lady. 