Tag: satanic temple

Satanic Temple Now Attacking Another Sacred American Institution: Spanking!

'Not hitting kids' is clearly a satanic idea. It's your OPEN THREAD!

Fundie-Scarin’ Funtimes: Satanic Temple Rolls Out ‘After School Satan Clubs’ Just In Time For Fall!

Our favorite Establishment Clause trolls, the funtimes hellraisers of the Satanic Temple, have announced an exciting new program for the 2016-17 school year: After School Satan Clubs, where your little Damien or Lilith can proudly learn all about rationalism...
Older siblings always seem a little weird

Mental Health Professional Thinks Someone Programmed Him To Murder. Could It Be … Satan???

The Satanic Temple, the first-amendment trolls who've answered government endorsements of religion with calls for Satanic coloring books in schools, have branched out into fighting some very real, very damaging pseudoscience.
I'm really more of a Rams fan...

Brave Christian Football Coach Suspended, Can Spend All Day Talking With God Now

The Great Jesus Sportsball War continues in Washington, where Bremerton High School administrators have placed assistant football coach Joe Kennedy on paid administrative leave for ignoring multiple requests that he stop leading players in prayer at the 50-yard line...
At least now they can explain every tornado for the next ten years

Ten Commandments Removed From Oklahoma Capitol, Governor Would Kill To Get Them Back

The day after workers yanked the big ol' Ten Commandments Monument from the Oklahoma Capitol grounds and moved it to a conservative think tank, Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin called on the state legislature to pass an amendment to the...
Don't expect a Wonkette review any time soon

Satanic Temple Sues For Woman’s Religious Freedom To Do Devil Abortions

You might recall that our very favorite First Amendment activist-trolls, the Satanic Temple, sued back in May for an exemption to Missouri's 72-hour waiting period for an abortion, putting the "logic" of the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby decision to...
They do Photoshop good!

‘Priests For Life’ Says We’re Gonna Be All Eated Up By Racist Pervert Sex Dragon Thing

So here's a nifty explanation of why America is in so much trouble these days: Our Once-Great Nation is under attack by a three-headed sex dragon that is also a racist, according to "Priests For Life," a radical Catholic...
Like Gamera, Baphomet is the friend of children everywhere

Bryan Fischer To Save America From Satan Statues With Special Jesus Constitution

The merry Establishment Clause tricksters of the Satanic Temple held a big unveiling of their 1-ton statue of Baphomet over the weekend. Because they're still waiting on a permit to place it next to the Ten Commandments monument at...
The monument is 6 feet high, so that man and buggy must be HUGE

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin To State Supreme Court: You Are Not The Boss Of Her!

In what has to be a huge surprise to some single-celled organisms who didn't know any better, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin has decided to ignore last week's order by the state Supreme Court to remove the giant Ten Commandments...
Note th' Illuminati symbol over th' Eagle!!!

Oklahoma Supreme Court Murders God

In your Separation of Church and State Nice Time, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that a Ten Commandments monument at the state Capitol building has to be removed, because it violates the Oklahoma Constitution, never mind the U.S....
Sarah's "O" Face

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin’s Empire Of Grift Crumbles Into The Eternal Sea

Sarah Palin has finally awakened from her long summertime slumber to publish new videos, hooray! We’ll get to the new video in a moment. But first: where has Governor Quitterface been these last couple weeks? Like migratory waterfowl before they...
Enough Norman Rockwell, and you're damned forever

Surprise! Satanic Temple Has Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs About Abortion Too

We are once again pleasantly gobsmacked by the simple brilliance of our favorite First Amendment trolls, the dead-serious activist/satirists at the Satanic Temple. If Christianists are going to insist that sincerely held religious beliefs give them an opt-out for...
Harder than you'd think!

Florida School Board May Just Give Up On Distributing Bibles. Thanks, Satanic Temple!

You might recall how the Orange County School District in Florida was forced to delay -- forever, apparently -- its annual "Religious Freedom Day" when local evangelicals distribute Bibles and other religious materials to schoolchildren, because the Satanic Temple planned...
Yes, the boy's name is Damien

Satanic Temple’s Fun Coloring Book Ruins Bible Handout Day In Florida

Rack up another First Amendment win for the Establishment Clause trolls at the Satanic Temple. The specter of children having access to a satanic-themed coloring book was simply too much for the Orange County School District in Florida, so...
And that's what Hearth's Warming Eve is all about, Zombie Brown

Derp Roundup: Zombie Baby Jesus Edition

It's a special Ho-Ho-Huh? Edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the stories that don't quite deserve their very own posts, but are too stupid to ignore altogether. So light the candles and gather round the...
That's pretty festive

Hero Michigan Legislator Will Save Baby Jesus From Satan, Stuffed Snake

In Lansing, Michigan, pearls were clutched and couches were fainted upon when the First Amendment performance artists at the Satanic Temple announced they'd be setting up a holiday display at the Capitol building. As usual, the Satanic Temple folks...