satan

When Oscar nominations were announced earlier this month, the Best Original Song category had people a-flutter because an obscure song, “Alone Yet Not Alone,” from an obscure Christian film of the same name, got a nod over big songs from movies like Frozen. The nomination has now been rescinded, probably because the Academy hates Christians, […]

The Satanic Temple has unveiled its artist’s rendering of their proposed monument to the one true God, Lucifer, to be installed in Oklahoma’s Capitol. As you can see, the goat-headed demon smiles and suffers the little multicultural children to come unto Him. You can even sit in his lap, like White Santa!

You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s clause claiming that the state doesn’t favor “any particular religion or denomination,” it looks like the law pretty much says the state would have to allow it, right? Not so […]

Uh-oh, you guys. It looks like Costco has made White American Jesus shed some tears from his shiny, manly blue eyes. In an obvious move to persecute Christians, Costco set up a lion pit and began throwing Christians into it. Not really, because that would actually be persecution. Rather, Costco accidentally labeled some Bibles as […]

So last week we told you how Darrell Issa was being a total dickhole, which is only natural for one who has been projectile vomited from the dark depths of Satan’s nether-regions. Well, Issa followed through on his threat to subpoena Todd Park, the chief IT guy at the White House who is feverishly working […]

First up! We can’t improve on this Buzzfeed story (!) so go get you some New Pope, bein’ best! Hey, What’s Jim Newell been up to lately? Just stone cold liveblooging the Sebelius hearings is what! Let us know if anything happens, okay you guys?

Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson, the genius who determined that God sends wildfires to punish the multiple scourges of gay marriage, abortion, and women wearing pants, warned that the Boy Scouts will soon have merit badges for sodomy and cannibalism, and alerted America to how the Pill leaves women’s wombs littered with lots and lots […]

You know, any right-wing jerkoff can compare Democrats/the gays/undocumented immigrants/kittens to Hitler. In fact, there’s probably some sort of special right-wing keyboard that comes with a macro for just that so they can be all efficient-like. But it takes some real over-the-top proactive synergized thinking to skip Hitler and go right on up to SATAN […]

Noted Congressional assclown and unconfirmed cosmic turd Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is back to his old shenanigans where he opens his mouthhole with gibberish sounds that will likely be proven false by the time you finish reading this post. It must be a day! What is California’s most repulsive gift to society doing this time? […]

After a stressful day of working (or hanging out in a workplace man cave), many Americans unwittingly risk handing their immortal souls over to Beelzebub through smoking weed premarital sex witchcraft yoga.  Satan is apparently incarnated in that cute yoga instructor, tempting you to deny the One True God for that sweet sweet release found […]

On a slow news day (seriously! so slow! can’t someone make some news for us to be mean about?) Louie Gohmert really is the gift that keeps on giving. He stone cold parks wherever he pleases, and believes that the sequester should mean that Bamz never gets to leave the house. Today, he’s rescuing yr […]

Since we just wrapped up our annual war on Jesus’s Pretend Birthday, people might be thinking: “Well, then, when is Satan’s birthday?” and “I should at least send a card, don’t you think?” Well, here is the answer to that question, via Joseph Sciambra, an “ex-gay” who used to do the porn: every time a […]

The realpolitik wunderkinds in charge of Iran have been threatening for awhile now to respond to a Western boycott on their oil by cutting off access to ALL the oil, but now the loose-lipped traitors at Nobama’s Pentagon have let it slip that the U.S. Navy is globally forcing some good into what they call […]

Those Taiwanese animators are sure having some sexytime fun with Rick Santorum. It is important to wonder if these Taiwanese animators are even American, the way they attack our most precious institutions (Satan, Rick Santorum). [NMA.tv/YouTube]

Sarah Palin went on Fox News to talk about Satan’s 2008 speech about Rick Santorum on Tuesday, and in the process made a sound that she then passed off as an adjective recognized by English speakers as something that people who don’t like Rick Santorum do when Rick Santorum does something that they don’t like. […]