It’s been a rough couple years for good old traditional Jesus marriage. You had the Supreme Court make DOMA go away last year, and then pretty much every state, even the super-conservative ones, have been all like “sure, get gay married, whatevs.” Weirdly, the Republic has not yet collapsed, but the final straw probably just […]

Ever since John Jacob Gordon Klingenschmitt won his primary for a state legislative seat in Colorado, we’ve been expecting big things from old Chaps, which is one hell of a nickname for a straight man. We should have known that it wouldn’t be long before a man who is so very preoccupied by demonic possession […]

Isn’t it fun when you can discover a new wingnut, a little hidden gem? They’re like an inexpensive pinot noir that’s a wee bit better than serviceable, so you just have to share them with your friends. Let’s meet Joy Pinto, who opened her gaping hate-maw yesterday at the opening day of the National Right […]

Well, and what happened at your Happy Nice Time People today? So much! So very, very, very much. And, naturally, it included “Orange Is The New Black” and also Satan. (When does it NOT, am I RIGHT, you guys?) Read on for some Happy lovin’. Some idiot says Laverne Cox is part of Satan’s plan […]

We really can’t get enough of those bigot twins, Jason and David Benham, whom HGTV unceremoniously kicked to the curb when they found out they were up-to-their-eyeballs-level full of bigot. After that, their bank tried to break up with them, but howler monkeys on the internet made the bank reverse its decision. We’re hoping the […]

When Oscar nominations were announced earlier this month, the Best Original Song category had people a-flutter because an obscure song, “Alone Yet Not Alone,” from an obscure Christian film of the same name, got a nod over big songs from movies like Frozen. The nomination has now been rescinded, probably because the Academy hates Christians, […]

The Satanic Temple has unveiled its artist’s rendering of their proposed monument to the one true God, Lucifer, to be installed in Oklahoma’s Capitol. As you can see, the goat-headed demon smiles and suffers the little multicultural children to come unto Him. You can even sit in his lap, like White Santa!

You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s clause claiming that the state doesn’t favor “any particular religion or denomination,” it looks like the law pretty much says the state would have to allow it, right? Not so […]

Uh-oh, you guys. It looks like Costco has made White American Jesus shed some tears from his shiny, manly blue eyes. In an obvious move to persecute Christians, Costco set up a lion pit and began throwing Christians into it. Not really, because that would actually be persecution. Rather, Costco accidentally labeled some Bibles as […]

So last week we told you how Darrell Issa was being a total dickhole, which is only natural for one who has been projectile vomited from the dark depths of Satan’s nether-regions. Well, Issa followed through on his threat to subpoena Todd Park, the chief IT guy at the White House who is feverishly working […]

First up! We can’t improve on this Buzzfeed story (!) so go get you some New Pope, bein’ best! Hey, What’s Jim Newell been up to lately? Just stone cold liveblooging the Sebelius hearings is what! Let us know if anything happens, okay you guys?

Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson, the genius who determined that God sends wildfires to punish the multiple scourges of gay marriage, abortion, and women wearing pants, warned that the Boy Scouts will soon have merit badges for sodomy and cannibalism, and alerted America to how the Pill leaves women’s wombs littered with lots and lots […]

You know, any right-wing jerkoff can compare Democrats/the gays/undocumented immigrants/kittens to Hitler. In fact, there’s probably some sort of special right-wing keyboard that comes with a macro for just that so they can be all efficient-like. But it takes some real over-the-top proactive synergized thinking to skip Hitler and go right on up to SATAN […]

Noted Congressional assclown and unconfirmed cosmic turd Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is back to his old shenanigans where he opens his mouthhole with gibberish sounds that will likely be proven false by the time you finish reading this post. It must be a day! What is California’s most repulsive gift to society doing this time? […]

After a stressful day of working (or hanging out in a workplace man cave), many Americans unwittingly risk handing their immortal souls over to Beelzebub through smoking weed premarital sex witchcraft yoga.  Satan is apparently incarnated in that cute yoga instructor, tempting you to deny the One True God for that sweet sweet release found […]