Wonkette

The brave mayor of some little South Carolina suburb has been very busy forwarding everybody some emails (and probably this old Wonkette post) about whether that colored fellow Barack Obama is perhaps some creature sent by The Devil to have a mythological war with Dead Jesus — you know, the Anti-Christ! MORE »

Everyone should thank CNN today for thoroughly debunking the “rumor” that Barack Obama is the Antichrist (seriously, this is somehow classified as a “rumor,” that Obama may have magical powers). The big headline, “OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST?” along with the subhed claiming that this is a real “debate” online and thousands of other images of ANTICHRIST ANTICHRIST EVIL SATAN were very necessary for the viewers watching said debunking. Raw Story has the video. Oh and let’s thank CNN for covering this same thing yesterday, too. [Raw Story]

Despised warmonger Dick Cheney continues to be an evil sack of shit who can’t even pretend to like war veterans. The hate-filled colostomy bag was scheduled to lecture a group of injured war veterans about how he evaded the draft through five deferments, but the veterans group finally told him to get fucked after he demanded the maimed heroes be sequestered for hours before he delivered his bitter propaganda. MORE »

Meet local Democratic leader Joy Johnson, of Durham, N.C. — she’s (allegedly) a crazy Satanist! Johnson and her younger husband, Joseph Craig, have been charged with a variety of rape and torture and kidnapping crimes, all because of “a satanic ritual that got out of hand.” MORE »

When young corporate Republican Bobby Jindal was sworn in as Louisiana’s governor five months ago, the national press noted that he was the child of Punjabi Indians who had just moved to America, and that he was young for a governor (36). All very interesting, blah blah, but did you know he’s a wacky Extremist Catholic (like Mel Gibson!) who performs exorcisms on people to rid them of The Demons From Hell? MORE »

All presidents and all presidential family members worship Satan, so it’s no surprise that Drudge currently has this lovely photo of Hillary Clinton making the “Hook ‘em Horns” heavy metal hand gesture that proves allegiance to the God of Politics, Satan. Let’s look at all the presidents praising their Satanic Majesty, after the jump. MORE »

Ann Coulter held a book-signing at South Carolina’s Furman University last night, and the University placed her signing desk in the toilet. Word around campus is that Coulter was on her period or something and out of diapers. [Palmetto Scoop]

U.S. President George W. Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for “fighting terrorism and promoting world peace,” according to a BBC News report. Bush has successfully promoted peace and democracy in many terrorist nations, including Iraq and Afghanistan, while making Americans safer and more prosperous at home. MORE »

Lobbyist-lover John McCain has a lot of problems, including being 712 years old and completely hated by his party, the Republicans. Another problem he has is with the “social conservatives” — you know, the sort of people he never has to deal with because he’s a rich elitist Washington liberal with a cougar gazillionaire wife and any number of adopted liberal babies. So what does he tell the religious white voters down in Georgia on Friday? He calls his hometown of D.C. the “City of Satan,” that’s what. McCain has lived and worked in Washington for three decades. [NBC 4]

The best song/video combination since “Thriller” appears on the Iowa Federation of College Republicans’ blog, home of Wonkette Vice Person of the Year 2007 nominee Ben “Beef Jerky and Toiletries” Johnson. Unlike Ben, however, the MittGirls are endorsing heterosexuality in their lovely performance of “Mitt’s our Man.” YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A BOY TO LIKE THIS. I know this, because I am a boy. [Iowa Federation of College Republicans]

Everybody loves teevee’s Carl Cameron, but is the Fox News star working for the American god, Jesus, or was he hatched from the festering anus of the Great Deceiver, whose name is called Beelzebub? That’s the question millions are asking after watching this terrible YouTube clip from the South Carolina GOP debate last week. Cameron was making fun of Ron Paul, as usual, when something weird tried to slither out of the broadcaster’s own mouth. As Cameron slurps the hellish tentacle back down his throat, you can hear the monstrosity saying “our way” or “their way” or, more ominously, “the’er-do’laute.” And we all know what that means.

The mayor of Centerton, Arkansas, resigned Wednesday. Not for playing illegal happy penis games or anything, though! It’s more of the standard “I was adbucted by Satan 30 years ago, adopted a false name, forgot my previous life in Indiana until recently undergoing truth serum injections” excuse, which we’ve all used at least once to get out of a dead-end job. [4029 TV]

A cult of rogue Christians in the former Soviet Union (”Russia”) is hiding in a cave. Forever! Well, at least until the world ends, which according to our calculations happened during last night’s Democratic debate. MORE »

In an attempt to quell angry God people from getting all self-righteous (good luck!), Mitt Romney held an invitation-only event with students, faculty and alumni of Bob Jones University Tuesday. Guess he figured that since it was a closed event, whatever private revelations about his campaign that would be discussed would never in a million years reach the press. And who wouldn’t believe that!? Sure enough, some sleuth at the meeting sneaked in an “audio recording device” — they can tape soundz people make! — and leaked it to CNN. Basic point: School Chancellor Bob Jones III endorsed Mitt Romney but by and large hates him. MORE »