Tag: satan

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft...

The Measles Vaccine Has Saved Twenty Million Children! Your Snake Oil Bulletin Good News Edition!

We wish we could say good morrow to you, readers, but it most assuredly isn't. Donald Trump won the election and his Legion of Doom is slowly building. While Yr Volpe prides himself on being an enthusiastic (if sarcastic)...

Senior Trump Advisor Alex Jones: Obama, Clinton Possessed By Real Demons And Also They Smell

No, he thinks they are actual-factual Bible devils from Hell (and The Exorcist). Seems legit?
Oh, there's good stuff in here.

Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 22, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
Because BIG GOVERNMENT won't let them!

Idaho Faith Healers Fixin’ To Ignore Any Satanic Laws Requiring Them To Keep Their Kids Alive

A member of an Idaho faith-healing cult told state legislators he won't follow a proposed law requiring parents to get medical help for sick children, because medicine is of the Devil.
Secretary Clinton's 2:00 appointment is here

Ben Carson Saw Goody Clinton Dancing With The Devil

At the RNC Tuesday, Ben Carson took a little time away from his prepared text to explain that Hillary Clinton is an acolyte of a man who literally worshiped Satan. We can't say we agree 100 percent with his police work there.

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, 7/20/2016

Good Morning, wonkers! Here are some of the stories that may grace the pages of your Wonkette today! Donald Trump officially became the Republican nominee for president last night. White nationalists couldn't be happier, they finally have something to...

Disgusting Pregnant Belly Just Not A Part Of Fancy Dolce & Gabbana Make-Up Counter Look

Proctor and Gamble is gettin' sued for firing a lady for being pregnant.

Ted Cruz Will Protect Gays By Letting Christians Discriminate Against Them More

You know there is that thing called "gay Republicans"? Yeah, it's pretty weird to us too. It's like, "Oh you only vote that way because you're white and you have money and your tax cuts are more important to...
Ted Cruz will do a faith-healing of America

Report: Ted Cruz Jizzed On All The Pillows

Let's talk about Ted Cruz's wet spots. Oh yeah baby, he has some. He's not Lyin' Ted anymore. Now we have to call him Leakin' Ted, and we need to take a moment to feel very sorry for the...

Dumb Duggar Boy Won’t Let Satan Finger His Sisters Again

Hey, Jesus Lovers, OMG OMG OMG, are you so excited about watching TV tonight? No, not the primaries! What are you, some kind of politically minded DORKASS? No, we are talking about the premiere of the new season of "Duggar Diddles...

Obamas And Trudeaus Still Slaying Internet With Hotness. Your Weekly Top Ten.

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! It's time for your weekly top ten list, where we (SPOILER!) count down the top ten stories of the week. And you internets sure did like our post about how Canadian Prime Minister...

Of Course God Is Murdering Bald Eagles To Show He Hates Abortion

Last weekend, 13 bald eagles were found dead at a farm in Maryland. Now, most people, upon hearing that, would likely assume one of three broad categories of reasons: (1) humans being murder-y and awful; (2) something climate change-y, (3)...

Oregon Militia Twit Sues America For Being Literally Satan

Haha those Bundy Oregon militia snotweasel dicknose brats finally have something in common with REAL terrorists. Whereas Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda organization liked to think of America as "the Great Satan," militia supporter and "sovereign citizen" Shawna Cox,...

Snake Oil Bulletin: All The Single Demons In Formation To Put A Super Bowl Ring On It

Greetings, friends and loved ones, and welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin! Did you happen to catch the Annual Sportsball Faire last weekend? Both sportsball clubs sported their hardest, but one club sported the ball better than the...

Hillary Clinton And Ted Cruz Go To The Olive Garden With Satan. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Guten Morgen, Wonkers, WTF does that headline even mean? Did Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz actually have a caucus with Satan at the Olive Garden and that's how she winned all those coin flips in the Iowa caucuses? Ted...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now

Oh hey, look, One Million Moms, aka Seventeen Angry Dipsticks, is back! They're still mad about Fox's TV show "Lucifer," like they were before, but now they have a new target: Olive Garden, which sponsors the show. If you're not familiar...