Because there is no news this August except for the news about the moral and physical decline of America due to Death Panel rationing, an increasingly bored press corps turns to the Obama family for succor. “Enh, there’s this bit about Michelle and her shorts,” they say to each other, and that’s good for a day or two. But what shall they do next week? MORE »

Ha ha ha, everyone gets a good laugh when newspaper design people make weird placement choices. Look at the Washington Times here: its website shows a photo of the Obama kids — probably the click-thru is a story about how cute they are! — right above a different article about Chicago children being murdered all the time. WACKY! It looks like the girls’ photo goes with the death story! Good thing that’s not the case at all! MORE »

Oh this is a necessary post. You all do want to see the Obamas meeting our colonial Queen at her Buckingham Palace, don’t you? Because they do just that. Check out the Queen, still hangin’ in there. She could stand on top of both Malia and Sasha Obama and still be shorter than either of their parents. CNN did a great job covering this event, too. Its daytime anchor shouts for a while, and then a drunk limey comes on to shout some more. [YouTube]

WONKETTE’S ETHICAL RULES RE: COVERING MALIA & SASHA: “If they go all Jenna on D.C. in a few years,” Layne added, “they are fair game.” [Broadcasting & Cable]

Oh, you want a dog? Here is a dog for you, straight from the fires of HELL. You can dress it up in a sweater and some lipstick, and it will look exactly like Liz Taylor. This is a Peruvian Hairless dog, ancient pet of the Incas. It is prone to acne and blackheads. Some crazy Peruvian lady wants to give it to you because she hates America. [MSNBC]

Ah, here it is, gamesetmatch for McCain — Obama’s been caught kidnapping/fathering black children in French Hawaii! We knew something was up with this slimeball. If you want to see more spy photos from this man’s private vacation, the Huffington Post has a nice collection. What a family! When we look at this picture, all negativity and trauma briefly drowns out from the world; every problem has been momentarily solved and there are no more questions to ask. When a HuffPo commenter looks at this picture, however, (s)he types, “Awww … how sweet. BO takes yet ANOTHER vacation while another country goes under. Good thing HRC is on the trail saving his inexperienced a**!!!” You’d have to be a damn fool to believe these nice vacation photos wouldn’t become attack fodder. [HuffPo]

Yesterday Wonkette brought you the EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE of Barack Obama’s 10- and 7-year-old daughters, Misha and Selma or whatever, being interviewed by some pretty Access Hollywood gal. This was a first, as Obama usually likes to hide his children in underground caves to shield them from THE SPINELESS INTERNET. Naturally, everyone made fun of these two children and, by the end of the day, were blaming them for starting the Iraq War and also capitulating on FISA. Nary an Internet Addict found the children, say, adorable. And that is why Barack Obama told adult-child Diane Sawyer on today’s Good Morning America that he’ll never put his children on teevee again. MORE »