sarah palin
Pope Pulls A Palin
Almost exactly 600 years after the last pope to resign resigned, Pope Benedict XVI is hanging up his Prada shoes and dancing off into … well, we don’t even know! Where do ex-popes go? Probably Boca. News organizations are predictably going nuts trying to figure out what the HELL? (You should see your Editrix’s “What [...]
What Will Sarah Palin Do Next? An Exercise in Wild Speculation
Put the pen down. I know you’ve been working feverishly on your 10,000-word jeremiad to Fox News demanding that they put Sarah Palin back on the air right now at whatever price she demands, but it’s time to move on. Roger Ailes isn’t going to be moved by your pleas; he doesn’t experience what you [...]
Jesus: Don’t Let Your Daughters Go To College To Turn Into Ugly Feminist Whores
We are sure these Christian radio hosts were not trying to gift us with the joy of laughter, the heartiest, most cleansing laughs we have had in weeks. We believe they are quite serious, as they prove without a doubt the link between letting your daughter go to college and her ugly feminist professors turning [...]
Known Black Person Colin Powell Simply Does Not Care For Sarah Palin Being A Balls-Out Racist
Hey, Colin Powell, you are a black Republican. What do you think of people in your party who are constantly not being racist with their watermelon emails and their funny nose-bone witch-doctor shirts? Oh, you are against it? Perhaps you would like to CALL SOME PEOPLE OUT, BY THEIR NAMES, STARTING WITH SARAH PALIN? Please [...]
Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere
What are you thankful for this holiday weekend? The re-election of the Muslin in the White House? That Ol’ Handsome Joe Biden is still driving his bitchin’ Camaro up and down Pennsylvania Avenue? That drunk Uncle Fred is behind bars awaiting trial on a DUI? Hookers and coke? The people of Akutan, Alaska, have much [...]
Watch the Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’
Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits [...]
Noted Historian Sarah Palin Thinks Barack Obama Is Just Like Robespierre, If She Knew Who Robespierre Was
Former half-term GILF and current Facebook celebrity Sarah Palin thinks Barack Obama is a very bad man. What did the Kenyan Usurper do this time? He said “Voting is the best revenge.” As you can imagine, this is the biggest threat the Republic has ever known except for that one time some New Black Panthers [...]
Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be Racist As Soon As She Understands What Racism Is
Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a “shuck and jive” against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not “pen,” someone else wrote it for her. Someone white. For the record, there was nothing remotely racist in my [...]
Fall In Love With Old Handsome Joe Biden All Over Again
Don’t got an hour and a half to fart around watching the entire Biden/Palin flaying of 2008 in advance of the Biden/Ryan catfight to come tonight? Then fuck you, you’re banned! OKAY FINE, highlights after the jump. Dicks.
It’s Okay, You Guys, Sarah Palin Is Just ‘Writing’ A Fitness ‘Book’
It seems like just yesterday we were worried about Sarah Palin! The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles this week was not the GILF you’ve hatefucked in your brainpan so many times throughout the years, but instead gave us a huge anti-boner of sad. (That this led to accusations in the comments [...]
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