Mobland Chicago is all about crime, dancing on chairs while wearing fishnet/tuxedo combos, corruption, and gruesome paintings of terrible, naked politicians. This one bar, the world-famous Old Town Ale House, is also known for co-owner Bruce Elliot’s whimsical smutty paintings, such as recent sensation “Naked Sarah Palin.” Now he has painted a naked Rod Blagojevich, wearing (of course) an orange jumpsuit, but it’s around his ankles as he is being raped in prison. Somebody please go over there and snap a photo; meanwhile here is the delightful parachuting Blaggy painting by Lauri Apple. [Chicago Tribune]

Alaskan dingbat Sarah Palin did something very important when she became governor of Alaska just 19 months ago: She had a tanning bed installed in the governor’s mansion — the one she refuses to live in, so she could charge Alaskan taxpayers $17,000 to sleep in her other tanning bed, at home in Wasilla. Now we breathlessly await confirmation that she also had a tattoo parlor set up in the executive office. [The Field/Narco News]

Last night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along. Here we have the vice-president-to-be in literally the only unflattering photograph we have ever seen of her. And yet! Even here she is not looking crazy-eyed or duck-faced, just vaguely reptilian. Sarah Palin, we salute you. MORE »

Wonkette established itself early as the publication of record for all things Sarah Palin, so it’s no surprise that random mouth-breathing yokels emerging from their basement masturbatoriums to eagerly Google “SARAH PALIN NAKED” would end up looking at this site — a weird amalgam of dirty jokes, paeans to Truck Nutz, and actual political news — and find themselves a little baffled. MORE »

Welcome to Wasilla, home of Famous Alaskan Vice President Sarah Palin. It’s just a sad gravel pit in the otherwise beautiful Matanuska-Susitna Valley — a place where unemployed, pregnant teens get wasted on Matanuska Thunderfuck and dragged by their single moms to fundamentalist mall churches, and then they all cook up some bathtub meth to pay the monthly tattoo bills. Join our Alaska correspondent Bill Scannell for a photo tour of America’s favorite new hometown. MORE »

The only man in America more vain about his hair than John Edwards is of course John McCain, who once famously snarled at his wife that it was better to have thinning hair than to parade around like a painted Whore of Babylon. Now we have possible photographic evidence that the Republican Party may be assisting crazy ol’ John McCain in his insane delusion that he still has hair. MORE »

Here’s a fun “E-Card” for your insane old liberal grandmas in Scranton who, for this week at least, apparently believe that a right-wing anti-abortion war-crazy dingbat apologist for George W. Bush and the Oil Industry is somehow a suitable substitute for, uh, President Hillary Clinton because they both have vaginas. [Mark Lisanti Has This Blog Now]

According to many billions of emails received today at Wonkette Headquarters, intrepid Internet sleuths from “a former New York Times reporter” to “my librarian mum” have discovered the True List of books that wingnut creationist anger-bear Sarah Palin tried to ban when she was mayor of a strip mall in rural Alaska. Well, we have sleuths of our own, and they are called Legion but also all called “Google,” and you libtards have been had, again. MORE »

McCAIN TRYING TO STEAL WONKETTE’S PAGE VIEWS: As your Wonkette staggers under the heavy load of a trillion people trying to find Sarah Palin pictures online, the evil anti-capitalist McCain Campaign is attempting to steal our precious web traffic with this Google Ad: “Sarah Palin Photos: Get Official Campaign Photos of Governor Sarah Palin Today! JohnMcCain.com/Palin.”