Here’s some funny-in-retrospect advice to Hillary Clinton from Sarah Palin! She was at some conference thing in March 2008, five months away from McCain’s doomed decision to make her his running mate, when Karen Breslau of Newsweek asked her about Hillary getting beat up in the primary battle against Obama. MORE »

How did you spend the Fourth of July? Maybe having a BBQ with friends and family, watching a fireworks show, and generally enjoying a happy patriotic holiday? Batshit-insane American Quitter Sarah Palin ended her own special “Independence Day” by posting a series of desperate grammar-challenged nonsense and vicious threats on her Facebook and Twitter pages. Really. MORE »

Uhh, question of immense literary and historical importance: What does Sarah Palin’s departure from politics mean for Sarah Palin’s nascent book about being involved in politics? Probably nothing! Recall back to May: HarperCollins proudly announced that it would be publishing Palin’s book about bein’ a soccer mom and bein’ a hockey governor and bein’ a mom to a transgendered pitbull, and whatever else, doesn’t even matter, because they paid her ~one billion dollars for the privilege of distributing her words to the American public. So will HarperCollins publish Sarah Palin’s book about being governor that afternoon she was governor on a dare, or will they force her to write about … whatever it is she plans to do that she thinks will affect political change more than being paid to affect political change (cuckolding Todd with Argentinian Todd,T erencio, on a sandmobile??)? MORE »

Courtesy of Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun, here’s your Fourth of July Blingee, featuring history’s lamest whining quitter. Whether Sarah Palin will be indicted and put in prison forever or not, we will always appreciate her, in our hearts, for ruining the teabaggers’ big plans to have all 500 teabaggers meet in a park somewhere to complain about having socialist parks where they can meet. Sorry, teabaggers! Happy Independence Day, everybody! Click the to watch Barack Obama’s happy July 4th video e-card! MORE »

Nutty Palin spokeslady Meg Stapleton was in New York when Nutty Palin suddenly resigned as governor of Alaska, the state that elected her as governor two-and-a-half years ago. Listen to Meg make NO SENSE as a baffled Anderson Cooper asks her again and again, “Lady why are you talking about basketball, and how does quitting equal leadership, and I don’t know who the hoop is, and who the ball is.” Cooper’s expressions around 4:40 are priceless. [CNN/YouTube]

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In the middle of this monster Palin Chaos Theory post, commenter-person Alaska Girl reminds us why Sarah Palin’s latest “I’m gonna take my ball and go home” move is standard Wasilla Snowbilly behavior: “She didn’t finish her term as mayor, stepping down to run for Lt. Governor. She didn’t finish her term on the petroleum board ethics panel, she resigned in protest and then ran for Governor. She doesn’t want the office, she just likes running for office. She doesn’t want (can’t actually) accomplish anything, she just wants to talk about it.”

First of all, Sarah Palin, go to HELL for ruining your editor’s day of patriotic rest and BBQ. Second, why did you really quit, crazy lady? We admit to “jumping to conclusions” (trying to hurry up and get back outside to our cocktails and friends), but the story may be more complicated than “Sarah Palin is a sociopath who will just quit being governor of Alaska THREE-AND-A-HALF YEARS before the next presidential election, just to show her, uhm, Leadership Credentials, which means constantly yelling at David Letterman about a joke she couldn’t comprehend.” But there are so many more crazy theories about America’s craziest Alaskan Anger Bear, the snowbilly grifter and strip-mall Ice Queen of Wasilla. Let’s examine them, together! MORE »

Some of us have been on vacation since Wednesday, at the delightful Beach, but how could we miss Sarah Palin’s latest cosmic sack o’ lies and demons and terror? Watch her “I’m going to resign because governing a state is hard when you have absolutely no interest in governing a state” speech, it is packed with funnies. We are sobbing. There are evil monsters screeching in the background. And Piper’s feet itch! [YouTube]

Come on, we are supposed to be celebrating AMERICA this July 4th Weekend, but of course with Sarah Palin, it’s all about Sarah Palin. So she has RUINED our Independence Day by announcing that she’s quitting the governor’s job (boring!) and handing over power to the lieutenant governor, and this apparently means she’s running for the GOP nomination for PRESIDENT (we just elected one!) in 2012, the end? Probably not. [Fox News/CNN]

Oh, there is more to the Runner’s World interview with Sarah Palin than a simple Q&A about the regrets of falling down on the jogging trail and the Secret Service keeping her vile secret. (Which, like everything uttered by Sarah Palin, is also a lie.) There’s a whole photo spread, with seven online pictures of Sarah lookin’ all perky and athletic and just cold mocking John McCain for being a crippled old man who can’t exercise at all: MORE »

Good news for the Political Arts: Our Chicago pal Lauri Apple is now officially Wonkette’s op-art artist-contributor of Fine Political Arts! And here is her delightful chart of Sarah Palin’s many, many half-dozen regrets in life. Click for the full-size version, and say hi to Lauri. MORE »