Oh that Robert Gibbs and his Making Fun Of Trig, by writing notes on his hand during today’s White House Press Briefing. Our beloved press corps is simply not sure how to handle this. OUCH, man, OUCH. What did Trig ever do to Robert Gibbs, anyway? UPDATE: Oh jeebus, they WILL whine about this. AP write-up: “Many in the room, where President Barack Obama had spoken just moments before about the need for bipartisanship, groaned at the political shot.” Also, and also. [YouTube]

Did you know there was a Rick Perry-Sarah Palin rally? Can you tell there was a Rick Perry-Sarah Palin rally? MORE »

Here is a close-up of Sarah Palin’s new temporary tattoo. It raises so many more questions than it answers, technically! The Huffington Post did an impression of journalism and has now bequeathed unto the world revelations about what specifically those words are, namely “Energy,” “Tax,” “Lift American Spirits,” and “Budget cuts.” This information will amass even greater relevance when the New York Times reveals that it is an anagram for “RSVP for David Paterson Key Party.” [Huffington Post]

Nothin’ quite like a few rich poopbags trying to dissect Sarah Palin’s reasons for scribbling shit all over her hands during a teabagging speech. Disturbed racial theorist Brian Kilmeade offers another story from his dark, repressed childhood on this morning’s Fox & Friends and adds, “I think that is — like you said before, Gretchen — folksy, absolutely, down-to-earth, I can identify.” Ha ha. It’s what the Common Man does! The Common Man cannot afford cue cards, or a sheet of paper, and so this is what the Common Man does during speeches. The Common Man feels LITERALLY MARRIED to Sarah Palin when she draws on herself like a child. [Think Progress]

The DSCC has introduced a fun new game. It’s called, “How To Lose Ted Kennedy’s Senate Seat To A Naked Furry,” with paintbrushes! No, it is just a fill-in-the-blank caption contest for Sarah Palin, because she is stupid. Be sure to submit all of your wacky photos to Bob Menendez! [DSCC]

An historic thing happened this weekend, a first-time ever event that served as an example to millions of Americans who have ever felt down or out! We refer, of course, not to the Saints winning the Super Bowl, but Sarah Palin actually showing up for an event that she headlined. (Historically minded Palin watchers will recall that she has basically never done this before, preferring instead to bag at the last minute and send out poor Meg Stapleton to issue a statement saying “We have never even heard of this event that she just bagged on.”) MORE »

• Clarence Thomas skipped the State of the Union so he could sit on his sofa and soak his feet in a bucket of “self-loathing black man.” [Weekly Standard]
• Most Improved Wino Nancy Pelosi spent 100,000 smackaroos (USD) on vodka nips and airplane pretzels. [RedState]
• We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, and we shall fight on the Moon. We will fight on the internets, also. [The Caucus]
• Two old timers on the Supreme Court will be violently assassinated by Obama’s Sandinista lawyers! K-Lo fears for you, Alito! [The Corner]
• Why won’t Sarah Palin ask Rush Limbaugh to host a retard summit? [Think Progress]

Autocratic mayor of Facebook Sarah Palin needs a new feud, because no one has paid her any attention in like a week. And luckily for Palin, it seems her Google Alert for “Rahm Emanuel retarded” is solid fucking gold today, as she has declared war with Emanuel for referring to attempts to pressure Senate centrists “fucking retarded,” which is an Alaskan-language slur that can be loosely translated as “cynical play-acting.” F’reals: “Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.” Trig wept. MORE »

• MORE REASONS TO DONATE TO SARAH PAC: So Sarah Palin used her PAC to buy $63,000 worth of copies of her own book “in order to mail copies of the memoir to her donors, newly filed campaign records show.” This is a favorite move of conservative organizations. Get donations, buy tons of your own books with those donations, and then offer donors direct-mailed copies of the books that they can purchase by… donating more! The authors get more royalties and can brag about how they all reached #1 bestseller status in the New York Times, despite its liberal math policies, and the fact that books are gay and elitist, etc. [ABC News]

Former weekend sportscaster Sarah Palin, the President of Money, has allegedly endorsed the actual Son of God & Allah combined, Rand Paul, for his Kentucky senate GOP primary. Rand Paul announced this endorsement on his website and noted that her PAC has given him a monkey-buttload of cash. Hmm… does Sarah Palin know about Rand Paul’s foreign policy? That he wants to end our war on Saddam Hussein and 9/11? Or perhaps he’s sold out on that Unserious position by now, because, you know, “Kentucky.” In any event, Ben Smith adds, “Paul is claiming the endorsement, but worth noting that we haven’t had a statement from Palin yet.” Since when do endorsers actually have to endorse people, Ben? [Rand Paul via Ben Smith]

Wonkette waiting room reading material operative “Chris C.” sends this picture of some Sarah Palin magazine he saw, right above the latest Scott Brown (?) nudie mag, at “a real grocery store, in God-Hating Penisville, aka nyc’s Greenwich Village.” The simplistic cover suggests that it’s a version of Going Rogue for third-graders. Oh wait, a version of Going Rogue for third-graders is just the regular Going Rogue. So it’s probably a phone card or something… OH LOOK COCKTAIL HOUR have a good weekend!

We’ve been so consumed with the Death of America this past week that we haven’t much focused on… the Death of the Tea Party Convention! Everyone who signed up is pulling out — including, most recently, wacky old Michele Bachmann. Teabaggers have been furious that tickets are going for $549, the profits from which will go towards some white trash con-man’s bank account. So far, Sarah Palin is still set to speak for her $100,000 fee. Let’s pray for riots. Many… many… riots. [Star Tribune]

• Jets fans are second-class citizens in Obama’s tyrannical One World Nation. [Hit & Run]
• Goldman Sachs made a disappointing five billion dollars in the fourth quarter. That’s what, maybe 20,000,000 eight balls? Heart-wrenching. [Daily Intel]
• JESUS WEEPS: Sarah Palin is officially a 100% USDA certified organic RINO! [Hot Air]
• The Sandinistas at the ACLU have filed a Freedom of Information Act requesting information pertaining to Predator drones (i.e. how many millions of American lives they’ve saved). This is what Communists do when they think something is unconstitutional but can’t prove it. [The Corner]
• Barack Obama campaigned for Martha Coakley, which is why Martha Coakley got spanked so thoroughly. Now Barack Obama wants to campaign for Harry Reid. Ergo, Barack Obama must hate Harry Reid a lot. © 2010 Redstate, Inc., All Rights Reserved. [RedState]

THEY’LL HAVE TO GIVE THE MAGAZINE COVER BACK TO JAY LENO: “In Touch Weekly’s gamble on Sarah Palin didn’t pay off. The magazine paid $100,000 for a cover story on the former Alaska governor and her daughter, Bristol, for the current issue. But, despite Palin’s huge book sales and TV ratings, sources said In Touch sold about 500,000 copies on newsstands, about half the number it sold a few weeks ago with the late Brittany Murphy on the cover.” Got it, Sarah? You’ll have to DIE if you want to keep that price quote so high. [NY Post]