Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

As usual, wingnuts waited in line, in the freezing cold, for several million hours at Sarah Palin’s most recent book-signing event in Noblesville, Indiana. Palin showed up, signed books for half an hour, and was quickly whisked back — along with special guest Mr. Trig! — to her monster Going Rogue bus, leaving ~300 unsigned books. Suddenly the wingnuts decided she is a “quitter” after all! Ha ha ha look at them booing a bus. [Rumproast]

That bespectacled Palin fangal, that one from the line the other day, is very taken aback at the liberal bias of facts! Recall Norah O’Donnell gently reminding this human-wearing t-shirt that, you know actually, Sarah Palin supported the bailout. “Where did you hear that?” this Jackie character demands to know, in earnest. It’s excruciating. Anyway, Jackie has some TUFF WORDS for sly Norah O’Donnell that she’s posted on her blog, “Red White and Conservative,” which actually appears to be nothing more than a poorly executed surrealist epistolary novel. MORE »

Hmm: “RALEIGH, N.C. — The U.S. Army plans to prevent media from covering Sarah Palin’s appearance at Fort Bragg, fearing the event will turn into political grandstanding against President Barack Obama, officials said Thursday.” This will have two effects: it (a) won’t prevent the media from covering Sarah Palin’s appearance at Fort Bragg and (b) won’t prevent the event from turning into political grandstanding against President Barack Obama. But there aren’t really any good options here for Army officials, because you know that Sarah Palin! She always goes rogue, always. She’s a “fresh breath of air,” as they say. [AP]

Hoochiemama! Teenage cumsicle LEVI JOHNSTON shan’t be accepting the generous Turkey Day invitation from SARAH PALIN, who selflessly offered her home to Levi on national teevee! “You could tell by her laugh she was full of it,” explained Levi. And by “it,” Levi meant “a deep-seated desire to punch me, Levi Johnston, in the dick.” Stay away from Levi’s junk, Sarah! It is his livelihood … MORE »

HOW COME GOD INVENTED RATIONAL THOUGHT UNLESS HE WANTED US TO SHOOT IT AND GRILL IT? “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?” Going Rogue, page 133. [via Slate]

Watch Sarah Palin go on and on about Iraq in response to the question of what the US should do about Ahmadinejad and a nuclear Iran. She says “Iraq” twice, which, according to reality, is different from Iran, the country the Iranian President is the president of. Andrew Sullivan this fact’s already been checked! [the invaluable TPMtv]

• More fancy graphics in support of taxing marijuana cigarettes. [Hit & Run]
• Matt is very worried about nonchalant archeologists digging up nuclear waste just for the fun of it. [Matt Yglesias]
• Here is your masturbatory WHAT IF? of the day: WHAT IF Barack Obama is fatally electrocuted by a stingray BUT Joe Biden doesn’t want to be president SO Senator Byrd — who is old! — becomes president because he’s president pro tempore of the Senate? [The Corner]
• Erick Erickson had an intimate discussion with Sarah Palin at a WaPo salon (?). [RedState]
• The Anti-Defamation League continues to protect Barack Obama from Jew-haters. [The Caucus]

How to make a Comedy Film: go to one of Sarah Palin’s book signings, walk near the front of the line (where they’ve been waiting for several hours), find the folks with the wackiest We Love Sarah-style t-shirts, preferably covered in stickers declaring even more support for Sarah Palin, introduce yourself to them, *make sure the camera is rolling,* and then ask basically any question. [YouTube]

ATTN: Andrew Sullivan has postponed the Internet today. MORE »

“A MUST-READ ORGAN OF CONSERVATIVE OPINION”: this is how The Corner’s #1 accurate describer of things Rich Lowry characterizes Sarah Palin’s Facebook page, with those words right over there. The ones in caps. No, no, in black. The bold ones right above right here. There are like seven of them? Just keeping looking until you find them. [The Corner via Ben Smith]