In all the pretend mourning for America’s pretend president, the comical stories of Ford’s two would-be assassin gals is probably the weirdest yet most-ignored aspect of his brief time at the White House.

Here are some fun facts: On two separate occasions just 17 days apart, two women attempted to kill Gerald Ford in California — and if not for a last-minute blunder by the women themselves, either attempt could’ve very well put Ford in the Michigan dirt 30 years ago.

Let’s meet the creepy gals, after the jump.

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