MEET BABY K. SMITH: Wonkette Editor Sara K. Smith has officially spawned. Secret husband “Dan” writes: “little Charlie was born healthy at 8 lbs 2 oz. Sara is healthy and delivered in 3 or 4 hours without any drugs.” Sara, man, she’s an animal. Congratulations to all!

A certain Baby K. Smith is due into the world at any moment, like TODAY, and its mother will probably need to look after it for a while until it figures out how to work the safety on the shotgun and open its own beers. You will be left in the capable hands of your male editors, who will maybe force themselves to drag their asses out of bed at a vaguely human hour for the next few months. MORE »

FIST BUMPS CELEBRATE THE VULGARIZATION OF AMERICAN CULTURE: “How we greet each other says who we are. A firm handshake says, ‘I am well nourished, energetic, vigorous, and in possession of most of my fingers.’ A hug says, ‘I am an oversexed idiot with no self restraint.’ And a fist bump says, ‘I might not have any fingers at all, and if I do, I am too lazy to use them.’” [Sara's NBC gig]

Why, who’s that dashing young gent sitting up in a tree? Dr. Hunter Holmes McGuire, of course, the famous Civil War surgeon. Also spotted in Richmond: for the first time ever, somebody actually recognized your editors in public. We were leaving Amici and this perfectly nice-seeming, non-degenerate couple walked by and said, “Hey are you Sara Smith? … AND ARE YOU JIM NEWELL?” and goodness, what a thrill. Wonkette readers, apparently, though you wouldn’t know by looking at them. They had teeth and everything! So we killed them, to keep our location a secret. Oh, and Richmond Times-Dispatch columnist Jeff Schapiro was allegedly seen at the Amici bar, but probably just by somebody who wanted to get him in trouble.

• A VERY SPECIAL PODCAST: This is a recording of that panel your editor attended a month or so back at South by Southwest. Alas, people shouting from the audience didn’t get picked up by the microphones, so you don’t hear all of Obama’s Web people gleefully pointing out the Republican nerds sitting a row behind them, sulking about the mockery of their earnest efforts to Rebuild the Party. All you hear is one Sara K. Smith whooping with joy for no apparent reason. [Suxorz 2.0 at SXSW]

Your editor showed up at the Austin Convention Center well in advance of her panel and spent many fruitless minutes finding the registration booth, getting checked in, and assuring the registration people that she was not some impostor “Sarah Smith” from some non-Wonkette entity. Fortunately, this process went on long enough that she got to meet Mark McKinnon! MORE »

Oh, it will be a jolly time as we talk about all the terrible ways the evil corporates and inept political parties tried to use Web Techmologies to get people to do things last year! They were all so cynical and dumb, when they weren’t being naive and dumb. If none of these generalities make any sense, that is because you have not been following the social medias, in which case you really need to go to this panel so that you will have shit to talk about at the frog design party afterward. 5PM-6PM Saturday. [SXSW Suxorz '09]

Remember how you voted so faithfully and got an editor of this-here politics blog onto a panel about failed social media campaigns? Well, that panel will be next Saturday, March 14 at 5PM at South by Southwest Interactive in Austin, Texas. It will be a HOOT. Rahm Emanuel will be there in his knickers! Tell your friends! [SXSW/Suxorz]

• WE HAVE BECOME MONSTERS: “Sara K. Smith of Wonkette fame is the fourth Suxorz panelist, with solid lead among the 2059 votes cast. Thank you all for participating!” [Suxorz Facebook]

VOTE TO PUT YOUR SARA K. SMITH ON SOME SOCIAL MEDIA PANEL! Hey lozers have you voted yet? Give it a try, it is super fun! It is a way more fun thing to do right before you leave work than, uh, working! Plus don’t you want to send Sara Smith to the great Republic of Austin to share the “good word” about social media campaigns such as that thing where Burger King bribed people to EXTERMINATE their “friends” from their Facebook accounts? You bet you do. Click the goddamn clicky. [Survey Monkey]

Your own Sara K. Smith has been nominated by a mysterious “Ken” to appear as a fourth panelist in some South by Southwest Interactive panel on bad social media campaigns. Who are the other nominees? Oh, a bunch of people who actually know “things” about social media. Obviously this cannot stand. Saddle up and get to work plz. Oh and unlike that other web “blogs” awards thing, you can only vote once, so vote wisely! [Survey Monkey]