Tag Archives: santorum

  frothy mix

Fancy New Yorker Magazine Won’t Print Definition of Santorum, But Prints ‘Anal Rapists For Bush’

It’s an election season, so the generally readable New Yorker has made its quadrennial mutation into a presidential campaign magazine, which is boring. Also, the magazine has finally delved into the deeply rewarding tale of how Dan Savage turned “Santorum” into the name for the “frothy mix of lube and fecal matter” used to make McDonaldland anusburgers, or whatever. Read more on Fancy New Yorker Magazine Won’t Print Definition of Santorum, But Prints ‘Anal Rapists For Bush’…
  cosmo's worst selling cover ever

Sexy Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Sex Tricks To Drive God Wild In Bed

Now that he’s just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a “second look” from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back when he lost his Senate seat by 17 points, to a Democrat, in Pennsylvania. But Rick Santorum has not quit being Rick in the half-dozen years since history tried to wash him away like a weird stain. And now that he’s theoretically closer to being the Republican nominee, it also means it is scientifically possible he could end up as president of the United States. Many gentleman and ladies will be wanting to know some of his sex tips! Read more on Sexy Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Sex Tricks To Drive God Wild In Bed…
  two nuts beat as one

Iowa Bigots Can’t Decide Between Santorum & Bachmann, Endorse Both

Times are tough for the anti-homosexual wingnut bigots of the Iowa GOP. They can’t decide which third-tier loser to endorse in their 2012 pretend election against all gay people existing … so they’ve picked both Rick “anal cum” Santorum and pathological pillhead baby rancher Michele Bachmann. Together, they are the best president America never had! Read more on Iowa Bigots Can’t Decide Between Santorum & Bachmann, Endorse Both…
  because abortions are for fun

Santorum Reminds Voters That Sick Pregnant Ladies Are Faking

Dildo-shaped GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum gave a speech in Iowa to remind voters that pregnant women are sick fakers who just love the late-term abortion fun. From ThinkProgress: Santorum: When I was leading the charge on partial birth abortion, several members came forward and said, “Why don’t we just ban all abortions?” Tom Daschle was one of them, if you remember. And Susan Collins, and others. They wanted a health exception, which of course is a phony exception which would make the ban ineffective. “There will be mandatory maternal death for women with complicated pregnancies when I am elected President,” he probably added. [ThinkProgress] Read more on Santorum Reminds Voters That Sick Pregnant Ladies Are Faking…
  where's the crying child?

Rick Santorum Announces Candidacy To Crowd of Invisible Supporters

President of Angry Fetuses Rick Santorum announced on teevee this morning that he is also running for President of the United States. Watch out, Mittens! Santorum went on ABC News and stood in front of an empty building to deliver his message, which is about as exciting as you would imagine. Does he know how these things work? You have to tell everyone beforehand. Has Rick Santorum heard of e-mail? No, he only communicates with the aborted children in his imagination, his only real fans. Is he talking to them right now? Is that why Santorum continually refers to himself in the plural? Let’s watch this sad/hilarious video. Read more on Rick Santorum Announces Candidacy To Crowd of Invisible Supporters…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion

The Cordoba Victory Party Mosque continued to inspire America’s best passions all over our xenophobic idiot-state, even after our own Muslim president cowardly came out in favor of its “constitutional” right to exist. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion…
 

Macaca Makes News, Guy In Monkey Suit Chasing Santorum Doesn’t

In a videotaped “political stunt” that probably wouldn’t even amuse fans of the Capitol Steps, a guy in a very lame gorilla suit causes basically no trouble at all at some Rick Santorum appearance in Pennsylvania. Hit play and prepare to be underwhelmed. Read more on Macaca Makes News, Guy In Monkey Suit Chasing Santorum Doesn’t…