Tag: santorum

Who Should Be In America, This Badass Young #DREAMer Immigrant Woman, Or Rick Santorum?

IDEA: How about we #DeportRickSantorum?
Love, America

Congress Reaches New Levels of Suckitude With Funding Bill: A Wonksplainer

A few years ago, Congress got rid of earmarks because of corruption. In Jurassic Park, we learned that nature will find a way. In the same vein, our GOP overlords in Congress are teaching us that corruption will find...
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Another F*cking Government Shutdown? Seriously?

  Pope Frank was in town to basically tell Congress to get its shit together. In response, Congress is flinging poo in every direction but "together," because it is full of insolent assclowns and juvenile numbnuts. With government funding running...
All you have to do is look at this picture, and you will immediately lose your urge to bone people.

Rick Santorum: The Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Fist You With Your Own Moneys

Just a few weeks ago, we were very excited to hear that the frothy mix of a man known as Rick Santorum was thinking of lubing up and sliding right into the 2016 Republican primaries, so that he could...

Howard Kurtz Appoints Himself Chief Constabulary Of The Islamic Religious Police

Prepare to clutch your pearls, wonketeers. We have on our hands a tawdry display of vile sexuality that absolutely DEMANDS to be shown to the world. It seems that a politician errr, a journalist the private-citizen daughter-in-law of a...

Rick Santorum Will Wish You A Happy Fourth Of July Whether You Want Him To Or Not

Rick Santorum manages to go 55 motherfucking seconds without insulting anyone -- like, ANYONE, not gays, not dogs, not even ladies what work outside the home! -- in this nice Fourth Of July message from his family to you....

Jennifer Granholm Just Not Used To All The Stupid Things Rick Santorum Says

Why does Rick Santorum keep getting asked on the yap shows? He does not hold an elected office, has not held an elected office since 2007, and does not have anything remotely redeeming to say about much of anything,...

Google ‘Spreading Santorum’ A Little Less When It Comes To Rick Santorum

Former Pennsylvania (?) Senator Rick Santorum initially rose to prominence when it was discovered that his last name is -- go figure! -- a perfect homonym with "santorum," the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes...

Noted Economist Rick Santorum: Witch Obama Caused Housing Crash

Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum, continuing his streak of saying only and at all times sensible and logically sound things, reminded Americans today that it was President B. HUSSEIN Obama who retroactively caused the housing crash because of how he...

Media World Implodes On Itself, Sprays Santorum Everywhere

Does this screenshot of a video clip posted to YouTube (and now posted to Wonkette) seem a little, uhh, heavy with logos? While the actual source of the video clip is unknown, and we found it on the bottom...

Rick Santorum Gives Mitt Romney the Oscar For Reading Teleprompter

It's America's big night for urban elitists who have seen whatever otherwise unknown movies are nominated for Academy Awards tonight -- consider it the Super Bowl for people who only drink box wine ironically, or the big NASCAR race/crash...

Santorum, Cumming, Blasts … Weird Rick Still Making Headlines Gross

How is Rick Santorum keeping the nation's headline writers amused this week? Oh, the usual: cumming, blasts, and the reliable laugh provided by his actual name, "Santorum." Why won't Rick Santorum respect American family values and stop being the...

Santorum Compares Obama To Hitler, Immediately Denies Comparing Obama To Hitler

The wonderful man we are dearly hoping becomes the GOP nominee for president has now joined the rest of the right-wing Internet in comparing President Barack Obama to Nazi Germany mastermind Adolf Hitler. CBS News reports: Republican presidential candidate Rick...

For Old Time’s Sake, Here’s Rick Santorum’s 2006 Gay Wrestling Ad

Let's see, gay wrestlers all humping on each other? Check. Pudgy Rick Santorum smiling and winking? Yep. Praise for Hillary Clinton and Barbara Boxer? Oh hell yeah. This is Rick Santorum's victory video for his 2006 Senate re-election campaign,...

Santorum Makes Ad Showing Frothy Fecal Matter Ejaculated At Him

So what did Rick Santorum's campaign come up with, for the new ad complaining about Mitt Romney? Oh, just a life-sized cardboard cutout of a dumbly smiling Santorum repeatedly splashed with a brown, frothy liquid. No, really. Rick Santorum...

K-Lo’s Wingnut Blog, ‘National Review Online,’ Tells Newt Gingrich To Quit

Wingnut Catholic slash-fiction blog National Review Online insisted, at 4 a.m. today (!), that fake Catholic convert Newt Gingrich quit losing the GOP primary and instead let authentic Catholic wingnut Rick Santorum continue losing against Mormon liberal Mitt Romney....