santa claus
Proponent Of Surveillance State Prominently Featured On Maryland Ballot
Your Comics Curmudgeon just returned from standing in a mildly long line in the moderately cold weather, to vote, so he is basically history’s greatest hero for democracy. Though ultimately another vote for Barry Soetero was saved onto an inscrutable smartcard that will presumably be thrown directly in the garbage, a last-minute once-over of the [...]
Yes, Virginia, There Is A (Sad Befuddled Old Man Running For Congress Who Thinks He Is) Santa Claus
Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span’s rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like “an elderly,” and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative old man who is running for Congress (as a Republican) in Michigan, and who may kind [...]
Arizona Gun Nuts Pose Children With Assault Rifles and Santa
Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let’s remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says “mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus” like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns ‘n Santa family foto event. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second [...]
TSA Announces War On Xmas Against … ‘Insulated Beverage Containers’
Christmas Eve is a very exciting travel day because it’s one of the busiest, most insane times to attempt to get on a plane. Plus, the weather is guaranteed to be pretty horrible because it’s winter. Also, there’s horrific stress as millions of people try to get across the country at the last possible minute [...]
Hooray, The Well Is Dead, For Now!
BP and the Coast Guard are reporting that the reverse-cowgirl-static-kill-butt-well-plug was successful and that only 25% of the oil spilled is still in the Gulf of Mexico. Time to pop the bubbly and eat some shrimp…oh wait, there’s no shrimp left? Damn. Um, how about some oysters…no oysters? Uh, let’s have crabs, yeah crabs. Oh [...]
Suspicious Low-Flying Aircraft Noted On U.S. Radar But Otherwise Ignored
Don’t mind that bearded fanatic in his low-altitude primitive aircraft flying around the skyscrapers tonight! The government is totally aware of this problem, and has chosen to just sort of “let it play out.” Happy Christmas, everybody! [NORAD Santa Tracker]
Santa Claus Wants You To Know 9/11 Was An Inside ‘Elf Job’
Here is some exclusive Xmas video of some nutter, maybe Mary Cheney? Let’s say Mary Cheney, just trying to help out old Monster Dad’s reputation, or something? Anyway, Santa doesn’t love you anymore until you admit ghost planes flew into the WTC, which was made of magic steel. [YouTube]
Happy Hobo Christmas!
By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, [...]
Santa & Bush Conspired To Elect Obama!
Here they are, the two leaders of the Free World, exchanging a sexy “knuckle bump” under the new White House Christmas Tree. No wonder the transition to the Obama Administration is going so smoothly … these two were in on it. [White House]
Santa Claus Palling Around With Marxists
Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father [...]
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