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Tag: santa claus

Derp.

Marco Rubio Was Locked And Loaded For Christmas, In Case ISIS Came Down The Chimney

In the hearts, minds and soiled panties of America's Republicans, ISIS is lurking around every single corner, down every alley, and having a cookout in every good Christian cul-de-sac in U.S. America. That is, when it's not having rough,...

Megyn Kelly Was Really Barfy The Day Her Wherever Bled All Over Donald Trump

Ooh Megyn Kelly is so great, ahh, she's nowhere near as much of a braindead loud-mouthed tub of dickcheese giblets as Sean Hannity or Bill O'Reilly. She even thinks her own brain thoughts sometimes, unlike those other Fox News...

Pat Robertson Swears Faith Healing Works For People Who Aren’t Pat Robertson

Didn't we just discuss a GRRR MAD SO ANGRY KILL IT WITH FIRE story about parents who let their children die because they believe -- huh, wrongly, oh well -- they can pray the life-threatening illnesses away? Yup, we sure...
Iwo Tannenbaum

Santa Evicted From Public School, One Dad Plus Fox News Very Upset

With all the torture and police brutality and Republicans taking over Congress, we were worried that the War on Christmas just might not come this year. Thankfully, though, just like Santa soaring through the fog, led by a Claymation...
Yes, it's very, very bad.

Is ‘Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas’ Truly The Worst Movie Ever? A Wonkette Investigation

As fans of terrible movies and of rightwing Christianist propaganda, we've been looking forward to Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas for months now, but it was the news that it had achieved the dubious distinction of getting the lowest rating...

Ayn Rand Institute Head Yaron Brook Just Loves How Commercial Christmas Has Gotten

As a special War On Boxing Day gift, we bring you this Canadian Broadcasting Corp. interview with Yaron Brook, the president and executive director of the Ayn Rand Institute. He was delighted to clear up a few things about...

NORAD To Track Santa Claus, Drive Glenn Greenwald To Write 50,000-Word Screed About Oppressive Government Surveillance

Ah, Christmas Eve. A time to attend church (assuming you are not a godless heathen), sing some Christmas carols, finish picking clean the carcass of various retail establishments in your scramble for last-minute gifts, gird yourself for Christmas dinner...

Radio Wingnut Neal Boortz Dreaming Of A White MLK

Libertarian annoyance Neal Boortz, filling in as host of the Herman Cain radio show (which is an actual thing), added his fair-taxed two cents to the Great Santa Is White Stupid Foofaraw of 2013 Monday, explaining that 1) Santa...

New Mexico Teacher Helps Make ‘Santa Is White’ Official Stupidest Meme For Christmas 2013

Thanks to a 9th-grade teacher in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, America now has its Official Stupidest Meme for the 2013 holiday season. Megyn Kelly's teevee contribution to the idiocy was certainly the first and loudest, but an unnamed teacher...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of The Terrible

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring...

Fox News’ Megyn Kelly OK With Inclusiveness But Santa And Jesus Are Definitely White

Here's one way to talk about a fictional character: When I was a kid, I knew two different Santa Clauses. The first had a fat belly, rosy cheeks, a long white beard, and skin as pink as bubble gum...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: The Edition That Made Us Feel Good In That Special Way

For some, reading the Sunday New York Times is the ultimate in masturbatory opulence. Would you like to learn about how private jets are getting more affordable because they are now in the reach of super affluent people instead...

Proponent Of Surveillance State Prominently Featured On Maryland Ballot

Your Comics Curmudgeon just returned from standing in a mildly long line in the moderately cold weather, to vote, so he is basically history's greatest hero for democracy. Though ultimately another vote for Barry Soetero was saved onto...

Yes, Virginia, There Is A (Sad Befuddled Old Man Running For Congress Who Thinks He Is) Santa Claus

Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span's rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like "an elderly," and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative...

Michelle Obama Reads Christmas Stories With Kermit, Malia Acts Bored

'Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year's theme was "Controversy and Nostalgia." Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the...

Arizona Gun Nuts Pose Children With Assault Rifles and Santa

Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let's remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says "mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus" like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns 'n Santa family foto...