santa claus

Your Comics Curmudgeon just returned from standing in a mildly long line in the moderately cold weather, to vote, so he is basically history’s greatest hero for democracy. Though ultimately another vote for Barry Soetero was saved onto an inscrutable smartcard that will presumably be thrown directly in the garbage, a last-minute once-over of the [...]

Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span’s rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like “an elderly,” and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative old man who is running for Congress (as a Republican) in Michigan, and who may kind [...]

‘Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year’s theme was “Controversy and Nostalgia.” Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the White House. (The old one got knocked down by winds or Katrina or something, and the new [...]

Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let’s remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says “mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus” like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns ‘n Santa family foto event. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second [...]

A long time ago, a bunch of gullible children in Colorado read a Sears ad in a “newspaper” — an ancient method of distributing information — and spent Christmas Eve calling a telephone number they believed would allow them to track the whereabouts of Santa Claus. Instead, they were connected to NORAD, and since the [...]

Happy happy Christmas week, you elf-fellating scum! Yes, it’s time for the Season of Lying to Children about the existence of any one of a number of Magical Miracle Men. To truly get in the Christmas spirit, I suggest you cut down a Druid’s tree, set a sacred pagan grove on fire, and start an [...]

Christmas Eve is a very exciting travel day because it’s one of the busiest, most insane times to attempt to get on a plane. Plus, the weather is guaranteed to be pretty horrible because it’s winter. Also, there’s horrific stress as millions of people try to get across the country at the last possible minute [...]

BP and the Coast Guard are reporting that the reverse-cowgirl-static-kill-butt-well-plug was successful and that only 25% of the oil spilled is still in the Gulf of Mexico. Time to pop the bubbly and eat some shrimp…oh wait, there’s no shrimp left? Damn. Um, how about some oysters…no oysters? Uh, let’s have crabs, yeah crabs. Oh [...]

Don’t mind that bearded fanatic in his low-altitude primitive aircraft flying around the skyscrapers tonight! The government is totally aware of this problem, and has chosen to just sort of “let it play out.” Happy Christmas, everybody! [NORAD Santa Tracker]

By the Comics CurmudgeonMost normal humans are at this point ensconced in the loving bosoms of their family to celebrate the birth of the American Jesus. That leaves a motley collection of hateful, Christ- and family-shunning degenerate misanthropes as the only people reading “blogs” on the “Internet” — Wonkette’s core audience, in other words! We [...]

Here is some exclusive Xmas video of some nutter, maybe Mary Cheney? Let’s say Mary Cheney, just trying to help out old Monster Dad’s reputation, or something? Anyway, Santa doesn’t love you anymore until you admit ghost planes flew into the WTC, which was made of magic steel. [YouTube]

CARTOON VIOLENCE  9:00 am December 26, 2008

Happy Hobo Christmas!

by Josh Fruhlinger

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, [...]

Here they are, the two leaders of the Free World, exchanging a sexy “knuckle bump” under the new White House Christmas Tree. No wonder the transition to the Obama Administration is going so smoothly … these two were in on it. [White House]

Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father [...]

CHRISTMAS  1:33 pm December 24, 2007

There Is No Privacy Anymore

by Megan Carpentier


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