The world will always remember the day when the Obama presidency began its tragic downward spiral: the day that Dr. Sanjay Gupta, television’s handsomest authority on thyroid pills, decided that he wanted to “spend more time with his family” rather than Serve the Nation as surgeon general. Since then, Obama has been helplessly casting about looking for America’s Doctor and finding nothing but a swarm of venal insurance industry whores in white coats. MORE »

HELP US DR. SANJAY: “And then, as so many Americans do when they are frightened, I turned to the cable news. And I waited for the comforting words from Dr. Sanjay Gupta.” [AOL Political Machine]

OH NOES, TEEVEE DOCTOR WON’T WORK FOR OBAMA: Whatever happened with what’s-his-name, the CNN doctor character Sanjay Gupta, who was maybe going to join the Obama Administration as Ceremonial Doctor, in January? HE IS NOT DOING IT, THAT’S WHAT (because John Conyers said he couldn’t, months ago). And if you want to know why, in March 2009 (tonight), you are expected to watch Larry fucking King, no thank you. [CNN]

• In-the-tank National Park Service is reporting that 1.8 million people attended Barry’s Inauguration, but some people think the real number was closer to 1 million, meaning Obama is not even technically President. [DC Examiner]
• Fannie Mae is laying off hundreds of people, most of whom live and work — well, used to anyway — in DC. [WTOP]
• United Medical Center is once again an accredited hospital thanks to a $30 million bailout and the benevolent specter of Dr. Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta, M.D. [Washington Post]
• The Presidential Inaugural Committee is handing out free leftover programs from the Inauguration to street hobos (95% of American families) — to boil the programs and eat them between two Saltines — and the ill-fated “purple ticket holders” who to this day are still being held in a bunker in Berlin. [DCist]
• US News is launching an exciting “digital newsweekly”, and online version of the magazine that readers can access on their own “personal computers” (or “PCs” in binary code). [Fishbowl DC]

Hey Obama waited until the last minute to pick a surgeon general, the government’s top doctor! SHIT SHIT SHIT who should he pick?? Uh uh uhhhhhh… quick, without even thinking: name a famous real-life teevee doctor! Him? Sure, fine, whatever, he can run America’s doctors. MORE »

Brightest Young Things’ illuminating interview week continues with Sanjay Gupta refusing to pose with a thermometer in his mouth. [BYT]

Thanks for continuing to keep us well-stocked in the celebrity sightings department — and please keep them coming, by email (with “Wonk’d” somewhere in the subject line).

Most of this week’s items involve celebrities and eating — either dining out at restaurants or shopping for food. After the jump, this week’s crop, including Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, looking hot; Cokie Roberts, shooting our correspondent a dirty look; Sen. Jeff Sessions, slumming it; and George Lucas, talking trash about Dick Cheney.

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