Tag: san francisco

San Francisco Cathedral Soaks The Homeless With Water Every Night, Like Jesus Would

St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco has come up with a novel way of interpreting that Bible verse where it says, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something...
Just another reason to love the best justice on the court

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men

Oh look, it's Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg being a super-bad badass and crushing the patriarchy again. No, she didn't do some gay-marrying this weekend, as she is wont to do. No, she didn't kick her own heart's...
this logic has the elegant symmetry of a circle

Giant Baby Cop Can’t Use His Big Boy Words, Uses Handcuffs Instead

In San Francisco, Jami Tillotson, a deputy public defender, was in the hallway outside the courtroom when a plainclothes officer began to question her client. When the officer attempted to take pictures of her client with no explanation and...

Pix Or GTFO: San Francisco Wonkers Throwing Up On Their Shoes Probably

Or maybe that was just me. Just kidding, I did not throw up on my shoes. OR DID I? Portland, time to beat your liver into submission TOMORROW, SATURDAY, at Base Camp Brewing. We don't know, you're on the...
classic wonker

We’re Always Drunk In San Francisco: Your Wonkette Drinky Thing Great Northwest Great World Tour

Hey Wonkcats and kittens! A gentle reminder that we will be buying you drinks (or you will be buying us drinks? WHO CAN KNOW?) in San Francisco, this coming Thursday, just six little short days from today! We shall...

Here We Are Now Seattle, Entertain Us

Back in our salad days of last June or whatever, we drove around the country, buying you beer. Mostly, this was so we could have a vacation and call it a work expense, except it actually kind of was...

Here Is How Homosexuality Is Different From Alcoholism

Talking brunette Ken doll Rick Perry said something great the other day: "I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at...

I Just Don’t Get Why Everyone Is Mad At The Google Bus

Sometimes I am a very bad liberal. Trigger warnings and waaahing about #rapeculture make me want to yell at all the baby feminists. I am not good at Intersectionalism. Don't care about drones. And now I honest to God...

All California Democrats Pretty Much In The Chinese Mob, We Guess

Well, here is a fine howdeyedo: the FBI is just cold arresting California state Senators for "corruption" and apparently "being in the Chinese mob" and also something about Freemasons. Democrat Leland Yee, who serves the gentle hippies of NoCal,...

‘National Report’ Writes Fake War-On-Christmas Story, Hilarious Real Threats Phoned In To Real School

Our satirical pals at the National Report, whose idea of satire is to write up fake news stories that contain few hints as to their fakeness -- because satire does not have to be "funny" -- have achieved another...

Obamacare Shocker: Prostitutes And Other People Wingnuts Don’t Like Can Get Insurance!

Dear god, this Obamacare thing has gotten completely out of control! Noel Sheppard at rightwing freakout machine Newsbusters has discovered a shocking, horrible thing: The Affordable Care Act will even sell insurance to bad people! In reaction to a...

Weekend Nice-Time: Here Have Some Gay California Weddings, Pfft, Whatever

Friday afternoon, just hours after the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals lifted the injunction that had been in place while the Prop 8 case went to the Supremes, all four of the plaintiffs in the case got married. The...

Skateboard Punk Rock Folk Singer Lefty Michelle Shocked Does Not Like ‘Fags’

Sorry, fellow 1980s protesters against "nuclear war" and "nuclear power" and "whatever else we were protesting about in the 1980s oh yeah we remember now it was Iran-Contra." You are now going to have to throw away your cassette...

Attention Lonely San Francisco Wingnuts: Pam Geller Needs You For Her Dumb Bus Ad Lawsuit

The last 12 months have not been so kind to the screeching osprey of pathological racism known as Pamela Geller. Last June her cat sat on the keyboard (or something) and released a stream of consciousness post on her blog...

Dennis Prager Channels Elephant Man, Is Shamed By Body, Not An Animal

Sometimes there are slow news days here at yr Wonkette. People are dumb enough, but not funny, or funny enough, but fail to be dumb. Dennis Prager, however, always always comes correct. Whether it is his awesomely casual racism...

A Children’s Treasury Of Rear-Entry Pictures From The Wonkette Drinky Thing In San Francisco

On the real, we had no idea -- after all you San Francisco Wonkeroos whined so very soulfully about the Holocaust -- worse than the Gestapo or even the IRS -- of having to take a bus to our...