May 22, 2013
Sorry, fellow 1980s protesters against “nuclear war” and “nuclear power” and “whatever else we were protesting about in the 1980s oh yeah we remember now it was Iran-Contra.” You are now going to have to throw away your cassette tape of “Short Sharp Shocked,” which was the soundtrack to all those protests, because Michelle Shocked, [...]
The last 12 months have not been so kind to the screeching osprey of pathological racism known as Pamela Geller. Last June her cat sat on the keyboard (or something) and released a stream of consciousness post on her blog that sounded like David Duke trying to do a Captain Beefheart cover after mixing Peyote and [...]
Sometimes there are slow news days here at yr Wonkette. People are dumb enough, but not funny, or funny enough, but fail to be dumb. Dennis Prager, however, always always comes correct. Whether it is his awesomely casual racism where he explains how black and brown peoples will not read the New York Times, his [...]
On the real, we had no idea — after all you San Francisco Wonkeroos whined so very soulfully about the Holocaust — worse than the Gestapo or even the IRS — of having to take a bus to our latest meetup — that the San Francisco Wonk would be such a handsome and superfun genus. [...]
Editor Rebecca is on a plane as we speak — it’s the future! — to uncircumcised libtard fish valley San Francisco, and she wants your author, “Jim,” to remind you nearby bums to show up on time for tonight’s meetup. Show up where though? Whoa whoa, easy now, just cooool down. It’s Friday and the [...]
You have already forgotten, haven’t you, that we have promised the filthy Yuppies of the Bay Area their very own Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup, and it is this Friday! So grab your briefcase and your gigantic “cellular telephone” and your Burberry scarf, and meet us at …
Hey man we’re gonna come up and see you, for the third Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup Happening. It’s far out! When, where, why? Let us find out together!
San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi was all nah mang nah mang ain’t resignin’ after he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor “unlawful imprisonment” of his wife (bargained down from domestic violence battery, dissuading a witness and child endangerment), and was sentenced to a Lindsay Lohanesque “probation and community service.” So now the mayor’s all, dude, the fuck? [...]
Are those syndicated shows like “C.O.P.S.” still a thing, with the haw-haw video of poor people committing minor property crimes or trying to take some drugs to dull the misery of existing in a rotten society? There’s still such a feature in the Bay Area, in the shitty KRON-TV local news. Let’s all have laffs [...]
This is going to be what’s it’s like for the Rupert Murdochs of the world, from now on. We hope, anyway! Just full-on harassment and outbursts until these kleptocrats are scared to leave their penthouses, which will then be burnt down, by dragons.
We would not have picked San Francisco for the first American city where “They” would start using autocratic control tactics on its disgruntled citizens, but here it is: civil liberties advocates are binging on tinfoil hats full of margaritas because the apparently fascist hippies running popular urinal and firing range the Bay Area Rapid Transit [...]
GOP presidential candidate and gay marriage opponent Tim something-or-other was unwisely lurking around signing books in known homosexual watering hole San Francisco when he was, as the kids say, “glitter-bombed.” Code Pink activists dumped an envelope of pink glitter on Pawlenty and yelled at him. Previously, helmet-haired balloon-head human Newt Gingrich had the special privilege [...]
Remember this? Well somebody must have turned very red! And then he got a little angry: White House officials have banished one of the best political reporters in the country from the approved pool of journalists covering presidential visits to the Bay Area for using now-standard multimedia tools to gather the news. The Chronicle’s Carla [...]
“President Obama will meet with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and other business leaders when he visits San Francisco Thursday according to a source familiar with the arrangements.” Well alright. Obama is apparently going to discuss innovation and science and his “Win the Future” thing. That’s cute, but America is totally bankrupt of ideas, and probably [...]
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