san francisco
Skateboard Punk Rock Folk Singer Lefty Michelle Shocked Does Not Like ‘Fags’
Sorry, fellow 1980s protesters against “nuclear war” and “nuclear power” and “whatever else we were protesting about in the 1980s oh yeah we remember now it was Iran-Contra.” You are now going to have to throw away your cassette tape of “Short Sharp Shocked,” which was the soundtrack to all those protests, because Michelle Shocked, [...]
Attention Lonely San Francisco Wingnuts: Pam Geller Needs You For Her Dumb Bus Ad Lawsuit
The last 12 months have not been so kind to the screeching osprey of pathological racism known as Pamela Geller. Last June her cat sat on the keyboard (or something) and released a stream of consciousness post on her blog that sounded like David Duke trying to do a Captain Beefheart cover after mixing Peyote and [...]
Dennis Prager Channels Elephant Man, Is Shamed By Body, Not An Animal
Sometimes there are slow news days here at yr Wonkette. People are dumb enough, but not funny, or funny enough, but fail to be dumb. Dennis Prager, however, always always comes correct. Whether it is his awesomely casual racism where he explains how black and brown peoples will not read the New York Times, his [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Rear-Entry Pictures From The Wonkette Drinky Thing In San Francisco
On the real, we had no idea — after all you San Francisco Wonkeroos whined so very soulfully about the Holocaust — worse than the Gestapo or even the IRS — of having to take a bus to our latest meetup — that the San Francisco Wonk would be such a handsome and superfun genus. [...]
Remember To Drink With And Kidnap Your Wonkette Editor Tonight, In San Francisco!
Editor Rebecca is on a plane as we speak — it’s the future! — to uncircumcised libtard fish valley San Francisco, and she wants your author, “Jim,” to remind you nearby bums to show up on time for tonight’s meetup. Show up where though? Whoa whoa, easy now, just cooool down. It’s Friday and the [...]
A Reminder That Your Wonkette Will Be Invading San Francisco To Drink It Under The Table
You have already forgotten, haven’t you, that we have promised the filthy Yuppies of the Bay Area their very own Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup, and it is this Friday! So grab your briefcase and your gigantic “cellular telephone” and your Burberry scarf, and meet us at …
Are We Going To San Francisco? (Yes)
Hey man we’re gonna come up and see you, for the third Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup Happening. It’s far out! When, where, why? Let us find out together!
Wife- and Girlfriend-Beating San Francisco Sheriff Simply Does Not Care to Resign
San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi was all nah mang nah mang ain’t resignin’ after he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor “unlawful imprisonment” of his wife (bargained down from domestic violence battery, dissuading a witness and child endangerment), and was sentenced to a Lindsay Lohanesque “probation and community service.” So now the mayor’s all, dude, the fuck? [...]
Are We Done With TV of Black People Charged With Misdemeanors Now?
Are those syndicated shows like “C.O.P.S.” still a thing, with the haw-haw video of poor people committing minor property crimes or trying to take some drugs to dull the misery of existing in a rotten society? There’s still such a feature in the Bay Area, in the shitty KRON-TV local news. Let’s all have laffs [...]
Muppet-Wielding Protesters Occupy Rupert Murdoch’s Speech
This is going to be what’s it’s like for the Rupert Murdochs of the world, from now on. We hope, anyway! Just full-on harassment and outbursts until these kleptocrats are scared to leave their penthouses, which will then be burnt down, by dragons.
Glitter Bomb Strikes Tim Pawlenty At Book Signing
GOP presidential candidate and gay marriage opponent Tim something-or-other was unwisely lurking around signing books in known homosexual watering hole San Francisco when he was, as the kids say, “glitter-bombed.” Code Pink activists dumped an envelope of pink glitter on Pawlenty and yelled at him. Previously, helmet-haired balloon-head human Newt Gingrich had the special privilege [...]
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