Tag: san diego

Hello, Los Angeles. Won’t You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?

Los Angeles, we are to home to you! Currently? Overnighting in an alley behind Wonker Paula's Burbank craft-soap factory, and life couldn't be sweeter! (Or more clean.) Tonight you will come and sing sweet songs of home with us...

1000 To One Odds Our Vegas Party Sunday Will Be A Rocking Good Time

San Francisco, did you know you've been added to the Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour and Grifterthon? Las Vegas, join us Sunday (tomorrow? today?), Oct. 25, at the Summerlin, Nevada, home of Wonkers Frances and Don, and...

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

A Ridiculous Amount Of Notice For You, So Cal, To Put On Your Drinkin’ And Wonkin’ Shoes

San Diego! Orange County! Los Angeles! Las Vegas! Maybe Utah! We are hereby giving you a dumb amount of notice that we will be buying you beers and/or grilling you tofurkey (you bring the tofurkey), NEXT WEEK AND THEREAFTER....
He calls this his 'hoodlum chic' look. Really.

Hardened Criminal Dinesh D’Souza Finally Freed From Maximum Security Sleep-Away Camp

Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza is free at last, FREE AT LAST! from his eight-month sentence of being held in "overnight captivity" in a "community confinement center." D'Souza, as we all know because of how he has been on TV...
The 3-year-old looks especially suspicious

San Diego Cops Thought Brothers Were Robbing Own Store, Beat Them Up Just To Be Sure

Hey, San Diego Police, have you roughed up anyone entering their own property lately? Oh, you have? Bet you probably had a really good reason for it, at least, huh? Yes, Dear Wonkers, if it's not abundantly clear by now,...
File Photo: the average Californian voter, or D.A., whatever.

Making A Hippity Hop Album Basically Same Thing As Murder

San Diego prosecutors are doing their darnedest to make sure a man goes to jail for the rest of his life for a crime he didn't commit. That's not a matter of conjecture, like, "No, he's totes innocent." Prosecutors...

Rob Ford Bobbleheads, Jon Stewart Hates Himself And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Your three-day weekend is over. Back to work, everyone. Also, don't forget to not wear white. (Because it's after Labor Day, see? Get it? GET IT?) You know you want one: President Obama said "immigration rights." Time’s Zeke Miller noted that during...
A bigger boat

Science Nice Time: Navy Honors Sally Ride With A Research Vessel. Sadly, It Is Not A Spaceship

Here's some nifty sciencey Nice Time for you people on a Monday when the world is looking a tad bleakish: The U.S. Navy has honored America's first woman in space, christening its newest research ship after the late astronaut...
Thwipp!

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

We're going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we're just so darned indecisive. So hey, let's go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend's San Diego Comic-Con, that...

Lady Urging Boycott Of Rose Parade Over Gay Marriage Float Is Naive About Parades

For San Diego's Karen Grube, watching the Rose Parade on New Year's Day "used to be a family thing," but "it no longer is," and it's because of the gays. That's right--there are going to be gays in the 2014...

President Of Creation Museum Is Just Like Oppressed Civil Rights Leaders Of 1950s Selma, Obviously

Attention civil rights activists! Your fierce and courageous devotion to fighting against injustice is sorely needed in the horribly oppressive town of San Diego, which has, sadly, turned into 1950s Alabama. No, there are no segregated drinking fountains. No,...

Weather Channel Founder Says Polar Bears Doing Great Because Eskimos Stopped Being Savages

In a chat with paid climate change deniers on the San Diego TV station where he now works as a weatherman, Weather Channel founder John Coleman insisted that, contrary to mere evidence, polar bear populations are increasing because "the Eskimos...

Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity

Serial creepmeister and former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner pleaded guilty yesterday to a single count of felony false imprisonment and two counts of misdemeanor battery. Under the plea deal, he will not go to jail, but will be...

Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion

In her quest to build a modest 11,000-square-foot cottage not in anyone's way at all right there on that public beach, Ann Romney is starting to sound a little like America's most favoritest belovedest totally great lady, one Barbara...

Why Did All Those Racist Ladies Burn Creeper San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s Body And Hang Him From A Tree?

Disgraced former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner (D - Sadville) should probably not tell people he was "the victim of a lynch mob," aka the 18 women who came forward to accuse him of being Bob Packwood times an...