Tag Archives: san diego

  you stay harassy san diego

On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?

In today’s edition of Political Rock Out With Your Cock Out, four more women have come forward to accuse San Diego Mayor Bob Filner, who is obviously not a Democrat or Wonkette would not be writing about him, of being a serial creeper who can’t ever be in a room with a woman without very kindly offering to jizz on her tits. This brings the total number of Filner’s accusers to seven women, or 14 tits. Read more on On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is being pressured to resign after a number of former supporters have come forward with accusations that the first-term Democrat had sexually harassed them. While the mayor has released a video in which he apologizes for treating women on his staff disrespectfully, even admitting “I need help,” Filner also somehow thinks that the accusations from multiple sources are all just a big misunderstanding and he will just take some classes to make everything better, and a full investigation will clear his name because he is just a really friendly guy who likes to hug everyone and we think we need a bucket, urrrrggghhh. Of course, Wonkette isn’t covering this story, because Filner is a Democrat. Read more on San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?…
  gone like tears in rain

Morning Nice-Time: San Diego Chalk Vandal To Go Free, Just Like Bank Execs!

Who says there’s no justice? You might recall the case of Jeff Olson, yes? He’s the San Diego guy who wrote unkind things about Bank Of America, in chalk, on a sidewalk in front of Bank of America, and then, after an executive from Bank of America pressured a city attorney who took campaign contributions from Bank of America, was arrested and slapped with enough charges against the public good (and Bank of America) to send him to jail for far longer than it takes a Bank of America customer to get a loan modification. Also, just for laughs, Judge Howard Shore (but not his all-nurse band) decided Olson’s defense attorney could not mention the First Amendment because “The State’s Vandalism Statute does not mention First Amendment rights.” And yet somehow, Jeff Olson was acquitted on all counts Monday afternoon — he is just lucky this guy wasn’t on the jury — so here is your Nice Time! Read more on Morning Nice-Time: San Diego Chalk Vandal To Go Free, Just Like Bank Execs!…
  go directly to jail

Finally, Someone Is Going To Jail For What The Banks Did!

Yes, you read that right: finally, someone is going to jail for what the banks did! If this seems like it is too good to be true, Wonketeers, your instincts are correct because the person who is FINALLY going to jail is not anyone associated with the banks, but rather, a man who wrote mean words about banks on the sidewalk in San Diego. Did we forget to mention that the mean words were written in water-soluble chalk? Did we also forget to mention that the man’s impending prosecution comes after Bank of America’s Vice President of Global Corporate Security relentlessly pressured the city attorney to charge the man for writing mean words with chalk? Via the San Diego Union-Tribune: Jeff Olson, 40, faces 13 misdemeanor vandalism charges for the way he made his views known. He faces up to 13 years in jail and $13,000 in restitution, although prosecutors say incarceration is rare in vandalism cases. If the city loses the case, it might be chalked up to jurors who question if the city should be spending taxpayer money bringing charges against someone who plied his activism — or vandalism — using something that can be easily washed away with a hose. Read more on Finally, Someone Is Going To Jail For What The Banks Did!…
  On a clear day she can whine forever

Ann Romney Shames San Diego City Council Because She Didn’t Get Her Beachfront Mansion Permit Fast Enough

Aw, cute! Ann Romney, the unintentionally comedic wife of uber-loser Mitt, took a break from watching her classier-than-thou horse do ballet to eggsplain to the San Diego City Council why it can kiss her pampered ass because it did not approve the permit for her bazillion dollar beachfront mansion expansion in a way befitting Her Royal Highness, according to Her Royal Highness: My name is Ann Romney. I am here today to express concern with the city of San Diego’s noticing procedure for development projects. The hearing officer’s decision on the coastal development and site development permit for my home was appealed due to potential defects with the public notice. Notice defects can be problematic for transparent government and public participation, two things that Mitt and I strongly support. You are probably deeply and profoundly concerned about the potential defects with the public notice for Ann’s home, right? You’re probably losing sleep over it, tossing and turning and fretting about whether that $12 million house Ann and Mitt are rebuilding on the beach will be properly and quickly permitted, and nothing — not those doctor bills you can’t afford to pay, not global warming, not the outright persecution of the teabaggers by the IRS — concerns you more. That’s why Ann is talking to the City Council, you know. For the public. For you people. Read more on Ann Romney Shames San Diego City Council Because She Didn’t Get Her Beachfront Mansion Permit Fast Enough…
  He's here to recruit your children to homosensuality

California Parents: Harvey Milk Molesting Children From Beyond The Grave

It isn’t easy to be a concerned parent these days, with so many threats and dangers to children’s purity lurking around every corner. There’s Michelle Obama trying to teach kids to be healthy and not eat deep fried, bacon-wrapped potato chips with every meal. There are “doctors” and “dentists” trying to put “fluoride” in the “water” so kids don’t get “cavities.” (Thank the maker that menace has been defeated … for now.) And, worst of all, there are teachers trying to gaydoctrinate children by making them worship Harvey Milk: Some parents in California say they will be keeping their kids home from school Wednesday because teachers plan to commemorate Harvey Milk Day. Harvey Milk was the first openly gay person elected to public office in California. Milk was elected to the San Francisco County Board of Supervisors in 1978. He is seen as a man who paved the way for future gay political leaders. Wednesday, students around the state will hear about his accomplishments. But a group called SaveCalifornia.com is running radio ads in California cities calling on parents to boycott Harvey Milk Day by keeping their children home from school. One radio ad says, “They’ll be taught an agenda that attacks our family values.” Damn liberals, always trying to make kids healthy and gay! Thankfully, SaveCalifornia.com is teaching parents how to protect their children from all that nonsense: Parents, realize there was NO advance parental notification of this happening or the opportunity to opt out your children. Even more, realize there was no parent permission sought, no opt-in form to sign. No, Harvey Milk sexual indoctrination, and other sexual indoctrination implemented, because of other perverse laws are being done behind parents’ backs and despite parents’ objections. Realize that these “Gay-Straight Alliances” (GSAs are homosexual-bisexual-transsexual agenda clubs) are at many California public high schools (see the list). In May, they actively promoted the perverse Harvey Milk in public schools. In addition to government schools nationwide having to permit GSA clubs (as long as any other non-curricular clubs are allowed), every California K-12 government school is under a state mandate to sexually indoctrinate children. See the list of these immoral California laws. Read more on California Parents: Harvey Milk Molesting Children From Beyond The Grave…
  Crack back: still wack

New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999

It took a while, sure, but the Marion Berry copycats are suddenly coming out in droves! (They are just really really slow copycats because of their drug-induced torpor.) That is, if two counts as “droves,” and we figure fuck it, because that’s easily enough examples for a New York Times trend piece. So here’s the big ‘un that was blowing up all over Twitterspace last night, like a heapin’ helpin’ of exploding foamy pigshit: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the man who has done the most to singlehandedly dispel the image of Canadians as “nice,” might also be the gentleman seen smoking crack on a 90-second cellphone video that’s been seen by writers from Gawker and from the Toronto Star. You know, Mr. Mayor, when people respond to stuff like you jumping up from a meeting and running outside to slap refrigerator magnets on cars by saying “is that guy on crack?” they don’t usually expect quite such a concrete answer. Read more on New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999…
  judicial restraints

New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me

Did you know that in many states there are judicial elections? And that those judicial elections are a pathway for really exceptional conspiracy-driven wingnuts, rather than your garden-variety wingnut, to ascend to positions of power? And it is almost impossible to get rid of them once they are elected? You do now!! Democracy, California-style, has given us soon-to-be Judge Gary G. Kreep of San Diego. There is no doubt that yr Wonkette Junior is aware of the delightful aptness of Mr. Kreep’s moniker. Even more delightful: Mr. Kreep’s opponent in his titanic election struggle was a gentleman named Mr. Garland Peed. But, San Diegoaneans, why elect the qualified when you can elect the crazy? USA! USA! It is your god-given right to ignore this guy: For nearly 30 years, Peed has been a capable prosecutor. Everybody who’s worked with him likes him. He racked up every serious endorsement imaginable, from DA Bonnie Dumanis to Sheriff Bill Gore, from the San Diego police and county deputies unions to the judge whose seat he would have filled. Why choose likable or competent for your judge-type-person when instead you can have Kreep, who has sought to rid the world of homosexuals, abortioneers, messicans, Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy. Mr. Kreep might seem like a veritable titan of intolerance, but Mr. Kreep is just being targeted by those meddling gays: Kreep paints himself as a victim, saying he received death threats and that the city assigned six police officers to protect him at [San Diego Human Rights Commission] meetings. He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents. Read more on New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me…
  yay

Cindy McCain, Philanthropist & Humanitarian, Simply Loves This Weather!

Wanted-to-be-FLOTUS Cindy McCain took a break Monday evening from her important work of being a Humanitarian and Philanthropist who Cares Deeply About Refugees to let us know that she’s having the time of her life in SUNNY SAN DIEGO, YAY!!! Let’s see what other folks were Tweeting yesterday evening… Read more on Cindy McCain, Philanthropist & Humanitarian, Simply Loves This Weather!…
  job creators

Oh Boy Mitt Romney Really Hates Paying Taxes

Oh LOOK what a typist at the Los Angeles Times found out about the Romney’s multi-million dollar home in La Jolla (that’s pronounced La HOY-uh for you Midwesterners, and yes, this is the one with the $55,000 car elevator)! Turns out that the Romneys got a tax cut of about $109,000 by having their lobbyist/lawyer request that the county reassess the $12 million dollar home several times over the years. Of course, the Romneys used the money from this tax cut to trickle a bunch of good jobs with benefits and a living wage all over San Diego. KIDDING! Read more on Oh Boy Mitt Romney Really Hates Paying Taxes…
  one born every minute

Leading San Diego Judge Candidate Gary Kreep Busy Vacuuming Pockets Of Birther Rubes

This is so interesting! Birther/Obama-suer/Taitz-feuder-wither Gary Kreep, currently ahead in a race for a San Diego judgeship by like 1000 votes over the even more unfortunately named Garland Peed, is outspoken in the belief that President Barack Obama is a moon alien (duh), abortion must be prosecuted, and icky homosexuals do not deserve the same civil rights as the rest of us. He is also the head of lots and lots of wacky rightwing foundations. Enjoy him, San Diego! Also to enjoy? Eagle-eyed Wonkette operative Steverino247 sends along these fun financial disclosure forms showing he is taking said foundations for everything they’ve got! Read more on Leading San Diego Judge Candidate Gary Kreep Busy Vacuuming Pockets Of Birther Rubes…
  judicial restraints

Birther ‘Gary Kreep’ Actually More Fortunately Named Than California Judgeship Opponent

There are still so many absentee ballots left to count in birther Gary Kreep’s race for a San Diego judgeship, and he and his opponent are 56 votes apart. Kreep, seen in the video above exhibiting the kind of impartiality and fairness and logic and sense which Californians so esteem in their jurists, is well schooled in law and courtrooms as he has been suing Barack Obama for eternity for his many crimes against humanity (being blah) while simultaneously Hatfield and McCoying with the woman whose skull is a hummingbird graveyard, one birther/lawyer/dentist/real estate agent/cosmetologist Ms. Frau Doktor Orly Taitz. But in what other ways is Gary Kreep super-duper-unbiased and shit? So very many ways. Read more on Birther ‘Gary Kreep’ Actually More Fortunately Named Than California Judgeship Opponent…
  important issues of the day

Mitt Romney’s Modest ‘Manse’ Now Has a Car Elevator, Lobbyist

Mitt Romney’s small cottage in La Jolla is in the process of renovation, and the aggrandizing of this piece of real estate is such an important issue for the future of this nation that there is actually a guy assigned to lobby the house to the San Diego government. How do you lobby a house? Perhaps this involves wearing a button with a picture of the house on it? Carrying a model version of the house to show all the government workers how lovely life can be when you start from, well, something, work hard and “earn” every phone call your father ever made to his friends? Anyway, also, the “manse,” as one Romney campaign person once called it, apparently thinking “manse” is a prissy way of saying “very small castle,” (manse: a large stately house; a mansion, for any teens reading), will also have a car elevator, because many of Romney’s friends are elevator company owners, and his only real friends are cars. Read more on Mitt Romney’s Modest ‘Manse’ Now Has a Car Elevator, Lobbyist…
  wait what?

San Diego Guy Who Made Africa YouTube Jacks Off Around Cars But Doesn’t Pee In Cup

Jason Russell, the cofounder of white guilt organization Invisible Children who became famous when he… [finally skims an article about this thing after weeks]… when he made a YouTube with a sad white kid to raise white social media slacktivist awareness about the crimes of Uganda’s Lord’s Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony, was arrested for jacking off like a madman in San Diego last night. Also too, NBC San Diego reports, he was “vandalizing cars” (with cum?) and “possibly under the influence of something” (cum?) Police “said they received several calls yesterday at 11:30 a.m. of a man in various stages of undress, running through traffic and screaming. Police described him as ‘in his underwear.'” Well, good. Africa is saved! Now who wants another story about a San Diego political person jacking off in public, eh? Read more on San Diego Guy Who Made Africa YouTube Jacks Off Around Cars But Doesn’t Pee In Cup…
  gop criminals of the past

Newt’s GOP Pal Duke Cunningham Offers Support, From Federal Prison

Randy “Duke” Cunningham was a fantastic Republican congressman. After a career bombing peasants in Vietnam, he came back to teach pilots at an ugly suburban theme park based on the Tom Cruise movie Top Gun, and then “Duke” became a congressman from San Diego, until his inevitable conviction for fraud and bribery and douchery and Viagra sex crimes with hookers ended his time in the House of Representatives. Since then, he has toured various prisons and is now locked up in the federal penitentiary outside Tucson, where he offered Newt Gingrich a very special endorsement. Read more on Newt’s GOP Pal Duke Cunningham Offers Support, From Federal Prison…
  ur monies at work

U.S. Spends $4.3 Million To Force Mexicans To Learn Swimming

Oh, neat: the government found a few million taxpayer dollars just sort of laying around doing nothing and decided, “how about doing more nothing with it?” to keep tradition, so they are blowing it “replacing” the non-existent “existing border ocean fence” that nibbles the surf at Border Field State Park in San Diego. It has long been possible for occasional handfuls of illeghulz using such crafty technology as “walking” to just step around the corroded sets of poles when the tide is low (to mostly likely be immediately arrested), so the grand multi-million dollar plan to stop this from happening is to rebuild the fence three hundred feet out into the water. Surely Mexicans have not yet heard of “swimming” or “jet skis?” Read more on U.S. Spends $4.3 Million To Force Mexicans To Learn Swimming…