Wonkette

Oh now what is this idiot monster chicken up to? No good! He is an envoy from Nick Leibham, the Democratic challenger to Republican Rep. Brian Bilbray in California’s 50th Congressional District — the northern San Diego seat formerly occupied by Duke “Dick” Cunningham. Liebham made the chicken deliver a letter to Bilbray’s office that called him a chicken for agreeing to debates in San Diego. If one actual chicken calls another person a chicken, then is that really an insult? Everyone in California sucks and Brian Bilbray’s vanity daughter “Briana” is hot, the end. [San Diego Union-Tribune, Flickr]

Former San Diego City Councilman John Hartley, who served from 1989 to 1993 and is strangely running again this year, took a break from the campaign trail yesterday. He did so by peeing in a cup and masturbating like a clown, in public, in the middle of the afternoon. There were two witnesses to the event, and they have now seen a 65-year-old politician masturbating on a street. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

There’s a great new interview with pretend First Lady Cindy “Cougar” McCain in San Diego magazine, which is one of those glossy local lifestyle magazines for well-to-do white people. In the Q&A, Cindy reveals how much she loves spending all her time “recuperating” at a beachfront mansion she recently bought on Coronado Island — home of elite Naval commanders and their sand-cougar wives — and explains what really enrages her elderly husband: the way she’s always “bringing home stray everything.” MORE »

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San Diego congressman Duncan Hunter has already pledged to protect Iowa from its neighbor, Mexico, but the next president of the United States will also need to defeat another horrible enemy before he goes to the White House. That foe is history. MORE »

Now we’re officially scraping the bottom of the holiday news barrel, because we’re going to invoke that goddamned National Zoo baby panda we hate so much, Sun Myung Moon or whatever it’s called. MORE »

2008 just got a whole lot more fun, because San Diego’s Duncan Hunter just announced he’s running for president. Thank you, Jesus. MORE »

“Su Lin” vs. Butterstick

So the San Diego Zoo has named their baby panda Su Lin: “a little bit of something very cute.” Overcompensate much, San Diego? You want a baby panda throw down? Bring it, but you can’t touch the Stick. We don’t have put “cute” in his name, because it’s all over his face. MORE »