Tag Archives: san diego

  You Have The Right To Get Beaten; Anything You Scream May Be Used Against You

San Diego Cops Thought Brothers Were Robbing Own Store, Beat Them Up Just To Be Sure

The 3-year-old looks especially suspicious
Hey, San Diego Police, have you roughed up anyone entering their own property lately? Oh, you have? Bet you probably had a really good reason for it, at least, huh? Yes, Dear Wonkers, if it’s not abundantly clear by now, this is definitely going to be one of those stories where you’ll need to remove any heavy objects from your desk, lest you hurl them through your computer monitor. Read more on San Diego Cops Thought Brothers Were Robbing Own Store, Beat Them Up Just To Be Sure…
  Crime Of Cash-In

Making A Hippity Hop Album Basically Same Thing As Murder

File Photo: the average Californian voter, or D.A., whatever.
San Diego prosecutors are doing their darnedest to make sure a man goes to jail for the rest of his life for a crime he didn’t commit. That’s not a matter of conjecture, like, “No, he’s totes innocent.” Prosecutors aren’t even trying to say he committed a murder. Or that he planned, ordered, aided, or abetted a murder. Instead, prosecutors claim, this guy should spend the rest of his life in jail because he cut a rap album, and that rap album sold more copies because murders were committed. That’s the San Diego D.A.’s story, and he’s stickin’ to it. Read more on Making A Hippity Hop Album Basically Same Thing As Murder…
  don't ever slow that mustang down

Science Nice Time: Navy Honors Sally Ride With A Research Vessel. Sadly, It Is Not A Spaceship

A bigger boat
Here’s some nifty sciencey Nice Time for you people on a Monday when the world is looking a tad bleakish: The U.S. Navy has honored America’s first woman in space, christening its newest research ship after the late astronaut Sally Ride. Read more on Science Nice Time: Navy Honors Sally Ride With A Research Vessel. Sadly, It Is Not A Spaceship…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

Thwipp!
We’re going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we’re just so darned indecisive. So hey, let’s go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend’s San Diego Comic-Con, that combination of fandom and media whoring that Colbert sums up as “an orgy… of people who will never be invited to the orgy.” And of course there’s shameless self-and-other promotion: Colbert hosted a panel for the next Peter Jackson movie, The Hobbit: Maybe We Could Have Stretched It Out To Four Movies, and is delighted to hear that Daniel Radcliffe is a fan of Stephen’s ice cream flavor. Excellent Marketingtainment! Read more on Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)…
  fabulous

Lady Urging Boycott Of Rose Parade Over Gay Marriage Float Is Naive About Parades

For San Diego’s Karen Grube, watching the Rose Parade on New Year’s Day “used to be a family thing,” but “it no longer is,” and it’s because of the gays. That’s right–there are going to be gays in the 2014 Rose Parade, an annual pageant of crazy costumes, confetti, glitter, dancing, and ostentatious vehicles. And the gays are going to be getting married! On a float sponsored by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation! And the theme of the float is “Love is The Best Protection!” Wow, that is a lot of throat-cramming! Won’t you join Karen Grube’s boycott? You see, there’s a very real possibility that Karen Grube will witness, or learn about, or accidentally imagine gays getting married in the Rose Parade. A very real possibility, people! Read more on Lady Urging Boycott Of Rose Parade Over Gay Marriage Float Is Naive About Parades…
  today in very bad analogies

President Of Creation Museum Is Just Like Oppressed Civil Rights Leaders Of 1950s Selma, Obviously

Attention civil rights activists! Your fierce and courageous devotion to fighting against injustice is sorely needed in the horribly oppressive town of San Diego, which has, sadly, turned into 1950s Alabama. No, there are no segregated drinking fountains. No, there have been no lynchings. No, there is no tired lady who would just like to have her seat on the bus, goddamnit. But there is a heinous, oppressive evil afoot, and we are not talking about former Mayor Bob Grabass Filner. We are talking about — trigger warning for atrocious atrocities of atrociousness — this: The president of a museum which teaches that dinosaurs walked the Earth at the same time as humans said this week that San Diego was “like Selma, Alabama in the 1950s” because his ministry was denied a seat on the local museum council. “I’m afraid we are being opposed for nothing more than the old prejudice against God,” [museum President Tom] Cantor lamented. Oh, the humanity! Read more on President Of Creation Museum Is Just Like Oppressed Civil Rights Leaders Of 1950s Selma, Obviously…
  not 'endangered' so much as 'differently thriving'

Weather Channel Founder Says Polar Bears Doing Great Because Eskimos Stopped Being Savages

In a chat with paid climate change deniers on the San Diego TV station where he now works as a weatherman, Weather Channel founder John Coleman insisted that, contrary to mere evidence, polar bear populations are increasing because “the Eskimos no longer kill the polar bears for the meat and furs in order to stay alive, it’s — we have now become more civilized in our Eskimo populations around the poles.” “Poles” may have been a verbal slip, or maybe he actually thinks polar bears live at both poles. It is not known at press time whether he illustrated his point with a cartoon of an Eskimo and a geographically impossible penguin shaking hands outside an igloo while a polar bear drank a refreshing bottle of Coca-Cola. Read more on Weather Channel Founder Says Polar Bears Doing Great Because Eskimos Stopped Being Savages…
  stay harassy san diego

Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity

Serial creepmeister and former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner pleaded guilty yesterday to a single count of felony false imprisonment and two counts of misdemeanor battery. Under the plea deal, he will not go to jail, but will be prevented from ever holding public office again. The Democrat (and former Congressman) resigned in August following a series of sexual harassment accusations brought by pretty much every woman who ever stood within the same zip code with him. Read more on Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity…
  la jolla: year zero

Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion

In her quest to build a modest 11,000-square-foot cottage not in anyone’s way at all right there on that public beach, Ann Romney is starting to sound a little like America’s most favoritest belovedest totally great lady, one Barbara “gentle murmurs” Bush. Neighbors may be unhappy over the Romneys’ … hmmm … lack of politesse (THE ROMNEYS??? THE FUCK YOU SAY!) in throwing their shitfits at the San Diego City Council for not getting their permits fast enough. But Ann knows in her heart of hearts that other people’s feelings don’t matter at all! Read more on Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion…
  strange fruit

Why Did All Those Racist Ladies Burn Creeper San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s Body And Hang Him From A Tree?

Disgraced former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner (D – Sadville) should probably not tell people he was “the victim of a lynch mob,” aka the 18 women who came forward to accuse him of being Bob Packwood times an actual rapist. Read more on Why Did All Those Racist Ladies Burn Creeper San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s Body And Hang Him From A Tree?…
  a whale's vagina

In San Diego, ‘Jacking It’

San Diego. You are a lovely city of truly blue oceans and white beaches and great urban parks and really terrific schools and generally well-educated and affluent folk going about their very nice lives. You are a really nice place to visit! But apparently, you wouldn’t want to live there, since all your public officials are just constantly either putting rape survivors in headlocks to ask them on “dates,” or stone cold ducking out from City Council meetings to have important jizzing sessions in the men’s room sink. Read more on In San Diego, ‘Jacking It’…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment

As part of a mediation deal in his sexual harassment lawsuit, San Diego’s creepy harassment Mayor Bob Filner is expected to resign Friday. Filner was seen removing boxes from City Hall yesterday and loading them into an SUV, so it appears that he will not have to be escorted from the building by Security. It was not known if he had the boxes’ consent to have his hands all over them. Read more on San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment…
  first do no harm to shareholders

San Diego Gets Own Nuclear Debacle As Fukushima Pees Radiation Into The Sea

San Diego’s San Onofre nuclear plant isn’t melting down. It isn’t leaking huge amounts of radiation (that we know of). Heck, it’s not even generating power! That’s because the steam generators Southern California Edison installed at San Onofre broke down just two years into their expected 20 year service life. They can’t be fixed, of course, and now the whole plant is mothballed, because you don’t want moths eating holes through your ruinous nuclear debacle, that’s just common sense. Basically, Edison screwed up, and Mitsubishi, who built the steam generators, screwed up. A lot of people screwed up! So obviously Edison and Mitsubishi admitted they screwed up, and they made their investors eat their losses, and they didn’t try to pass the cost of their screwups onto consumers, and they didn’t engage in an infantilizing, campaign-style PR blitz of half-truths and misinformation, right? Read more on San Diego Gets Own Nuclear Debacle As Fukushima Pees Radiation Into The Sea…
  why's there no warning on these toothpicks not to stick them in my eye?

Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To

You know how San Diego Mayor Bob “Dirty Old Man” Filner is, like, the creepiest mayor what ever mayored and sexually harassed three four ALL the women? Well, don’t get your panties in a twist; his lawyer says it’s not his fault! “The city has a legal obligation to provide sexual harassment training to all management level employees,” wrote attorney Harvey Berger in a letter requesting the city pay Filner’s legal bills in defense of the lawsuit filed by his former communications director. […] On the issue of potential damages, Berger wrote, “The city may be strictly liable for any sexual harassment by a supervisor, even if it had no reason to know of it. So, of course, the city should have a strong interest in making certain that Mayor Filner has the resources to defend himself.” Hey, everyone, let’s drop a whole bunch of acid and try to follow that logic! Read more on Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To…
  you stay harassy san diego

On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?

In today’s edition of Political Rock Out With Your Cock Out, four more women have come forward to accuse San Diego Mayor Bob Filner, who is obviously not a Democrat or Wonkette would not be writing about him, of being a serial creeper who can’t ever be in a room with a woman without very kindly offering to jizz on her tits. This brings the total number of Filner’s accusers to seven women, or 14 tits. Read more on On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is being pressured to resign after a number of former supporters have come forward with accusations that the first-term Democrat had sexually harassed them. While the mayor has released a video in which he apologizes for treating women on his staff disrespectfully, even admitting “I need help,” Filner also somehow thinks that the accusations from multiple sources are all just a big misunderstanding and he will just take some classes to make everything better, and a full investigation will clear his name because he is just a really friendly guy who likes to hug everyone and we think we need a bucket, urrrrggghhh. Of course, Wonkette isn’t covering this story, because Filner is a Democrat. Read more on San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?…
  gone like tears in rain

Morning Nice-Time: San Diego Chalk Vandal To Go Free, Just Like Bank Execs!

Who says there’s no justice? You might recall the case of Jeff Olson, yes? He’s the San Diego guy who wrote unkind things about Bank Of America, in chalk, on a sidewalk in front of Bank of America, and then, after an executive from Bank of America pressured a city attorney who took campaign contributions from Bank of America, was arrested and slapped with enough charges against the public good (and Bank of America) to send him to jail for far longer than it takes a Bank of America customer to get a loan modification. Also, just for laughs, Judge Howard Shore (but not his all-nurse band) decided Olson’s defense attorney could not mention the First Amendment because “The State’s Vandalism Statute does not mention First Amendment rights.” And yet somehow, Jeff Olson was acquitted on all counts Monday afternoon — he is just lucky this guy wasn’t on the jury — so here is your Nice Time! Read more on Morning Nice-Time: San Diego Chalk Vandal To Go Free, Just Like Bank Execs!…
  go directly to jail

Finally, Someone Is Going To Jail For What The Banks Did!

Yes, you read that right: finally, someone is going to jail for what the banks did! If this seems like it is too good to be true, Wonketeers, your instincts are correct because the person who is FINALLY going to jail is not anyone associated with the banks, but rather, a man who wrote mean words about banks on the sidewalk in San Diego. Did we forget to mention that the mean words were written in water-soluble chalk? Did we also forget to mention that the man’s impending prosecution comes after Bank of America’s Vice President of Global Corporate Security relentlessly pressured the city attorney to charge the man for writing mean words with chalk? Via the San Diego Union-Tribune: Jeff Olson, 40, faces 13 misdemeanor vandalism charges for the way he made his views known. He faces up to 13 years in jail and $13,000 in restitution, although prosecutors say incarceration is rare in vandalism cases. If the city loses the case, it might be chalked up to jurors who question if the city should be spending taxpayer money bringing charges against someone who plied his activism — or vandalism — using something that can be easily washed away with a hose. Read more on Finally, Someone Is Going To Jail For What The Banks Did!…
  On a clear day she can whine forever

Ann Romney Shames San Diego City Council Because She Didn’t Get Her Beachfront Mansion Permit Fast Enough

Aw, cute! Ann Romney, the unintentionally comedic wife of uber-loser Mitt, took a break from watching her classier-than-thou horse do ballet to eggsplain to the San Diego City Council why it can kiss her pampered ass because it did not approve the permit for her bazillion dollar beachfront mansion expansion in a way befitting Her Royal Highness, according to Her Royal Highness: My name is Ann Romney. I am here today to express concern with the city of San Diego’s noticing procedure for development projects. The hearing officer’s decision on the coastal development and site development permit for my home was appealed due to potential defects with the public notice. Notice defects can be problematic for transparent government and public participation, two things that Mitt and I strongly support. You are probably deeply and profoundly concerned about the potential defects with the public notice for Ann’s home, right? You’re probably losing sleep over it, tossing and turning and fretting about whether that $12 million house Ann and Mitt are rebuilding on the beach will be properly and quickly permitted, and nothing — not those doctor bills you can’t afford to pay, not global warming, not the outright persecution of the teabaggers by the IRS — concerns you more. That’s why Ann is talking to the City Council, you know. For the public. For you people. Read more on Ann Romney Shames San Diego City Council Because She Didn’t Get Her Beachfront Mansion Permit Fast Enough…
  He's here to recruit your children to homosensuality

California Parents: Harvey Milk Molesting Children From Beyond The Grave

It isn’t easy to be a concerned parent these days, with so many threats and dangers to children’s purity lurking around every corner. There’s Michelle Obama trying to teach kids to be healthy and not eat deep fried, bacon-wrapped potato chips with every meal. There are “doctors” and “dentists” trying to put “fluoride” in the “water” so kids don’t get “cavities.” (Thank the maker that menace has been defeated … for now.) And, worst of all, there are teachers trying to gaydoctrinate children by making them worship Harvey Milk: Some parents in California say they will be keeping their kids home from school Wednesday because teachers plan to commemorate Harvey Milk Day. Harvey Milk was the first openly gay person elected to public office in California. Milk was elected to the San Francisco County Board of Supervisors in 1978. He is seen as a man who paved the way for future gay political leaders. Wednesday, students around the state will hear about his accomplishments. But a group called SaveCalifornia.com is running radio ads in California cities calling on parents to boycott Harvey Milk Day by keeping their children home from school. One radio ad says, “They’ll be taught an agenda that attacks our family values.” Damn liberals, always trying to make kids healthy and gay! Thankfully, SaveCalifornia.com is teaching parents how to protect their children from all that nonsense: Parents, realize there was NO advance parental notification of this happening or the opportunity to opt out your children. Even more, realize there was no parent permission sought, no opt-in form to sign. No, Harvey Milk sexual indoctrination, and other sexual indoctrination implemented, because of other perverse laws are being done behind parents’ backs and despite parents’ objections. Realize that these “Gay-Straight Alliances” (GSAs are homosexual-bisexual-transsexual agenda clubs) are at many California public high schools (see the list). In May, they actively promoted the perverse Harvey Milk in public schools. In addition to government schools nationwide having to permit GSA clubs (as long as any other non-curricular clubs are allowed), every California K-12 government school is under a state mandate to sexually indoctrinate children. See the list of these immoral California laws. Read more on California Parents: Harvey Milk Molesting Children From Beyond The Grave…
  Crack back: still wack

New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999

It took a while, sure, but the Marion Berry copycats are suddenly coming out in droves! (They are just really really slow copycats because of their drug-induced torpor.) That is, if two counts as “droves,” and we figure fuck it, because that’s easily enough examples for a New York Times trend piece. So here’s the big ‘un that was blowing up all over Twitterspace last night, like a heapin’ helpin’ of exploding foamy pigshit: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the man who has done the most to singlehandedly dispel the image of Canadians as “nice,” might also be the gentleman seen smoking crack on a 90-second cellphone video that’s been seen by writers from Gawker and from the Toronto Star. You know, Mr. Mayor, when people respond to stuff like you jumping up from a meeting and running outside to slap refrigerator magnets on cars by saying “is that guy on crack?” they don’t usually expect quite such a concrete answer. Read more on New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999…