Tag Archives: san antonio

  Comic-Con Has Far Better Costumes

Militia Boys Havin’ A Good Ol’ Time Keeping The Border Safe From Eight-Year-Olds, Yeehaw

so brave
From the San Antonio Express-News, we have a photo update on the Great Big Militia Border Protection Jamboree, which appears to have actually drawn a few manly men with manly guns, albeit a touch short of the 20,000 that one of our more optimistic deleted commenters predicted. The militia groups claimed to the paper that they have ten “teams” along the border with Mexico, and they have been very busy patrolling with their guns, taking pictures of their guns, pretending to aim their guns at off-camera targets, and crouching in desert scrub with their guns while shouting “Serpentine! Serpentine!” Read more on Militia Boys Havin’ A Good Ol’ Time Keeping The Border Safe From Eight-Year-Olds, Yeehaw…
  their cold dumb asses

Texas Gun Fondlers Take Toys, Go Home After Lady In Restaurant Calls Them Dumbasses

The poor oppressed gun fondlers in the San Antonio chapter of Open Carry Texas just can’t seem to get the respect they deserve. In San Antonio, the poor dears were asked to leave a Sonic and a Chili’s after showing up with all their guns, prompting one of the victims of fascist Nazi gunhate to explain to his daughter that they had to leave because it’s just not safe to eat fast food without your AR-15 close at hand. Yes, this is what America has come to. Why can’t things be like the good old days, when bands of guys with assault rifles were a common sight at the old malt shoppe? Read more on Texas Gun Fondlers Take Toys, Go Home After Lady In Restaurant Calls Them Dumbasses…
  something something sovereignty

New Wingnut Fear: UN Will Seize The Alamo, Take Guns, Murder Freedom & Cancel Christmas

Here’s your Conspiracy Theory du jour: the Wingnuttosphere is buzzing with warnings that the United Nations is on the verge of taking over the Alamo, that sacred symbol of freedom and resistance to tyranny (especially Messicans and Obama) in San Antonio, Texas. From there, presumably, the UN will proceed to crush liberty, seize all the guns, and force every pickup owner to ride a pink bicycle while wearing a sissy little helmet with daisy stickers on it. Even worse, subversive elements within the city and federal governments are working behind the scenes to make it happen! You know it has to be a serious threat, because warnings about the coming takeover have been issued by the head of the San Antonio Tea Party and by Alex Jones’ Infowars website. If you can’t rely on them, who can you trust? Read more on New Wingnut Fear: UN Will Seize The Alamo, Take Guns, Murder Freedom & Cancel Christmas…
  boooo ... urns!

Which Gay One-Legged Iraq War Veterans Are We Booing In San Antonio Today?

My my, San Antonio, you certainly are getting “Wonkette famous” this morning! First we listened to that fun secret recording of Councilwoman Elisa Chan’s staff trying to figure out how to keep their thoughts on dog-marrying and cat-marrying from getting out into the general public. And now comes word that at Wednesday’s City Council meeting, where the topic was an apparently “controversial” proposed addition to the city’s nondiscrimination law, y’all booed at a gay veteran who lost his leg in Iraq! Man, you guys are really winning friends and influencing people! Read more on Which Gay One-Legged Iraq War Veterans Are We Booing In San Antonio Today?…
  san francisco values

Listen To A Bunch Of Idiots On San Antonio Councilwoman’s Staff Try To Figure Out: What Makes A Gay?

San Antonio Councilwoman Elisa Chan just does not understand these disgusting teh gheyz and their gay sex in the butt and why they should adopt the children and other things, because seeing two women kissing confuses the childrens and is against nature, whatever. But she does not want to beat up on teh gheyz, so she hopes her staff will help her throw in some confusion into the issue of a nondiscrimination ordinance so that she does not have to state in front of other people how disgusting she finds the homosexing. Cool cool, that’s cool. Read more on Listen To A Bunch Of Idiots On San Antonio Councilwoman’s Staff Try To Figure Out: What Makes A Gay?…
  edumacation

Are You An Old Crazy Community College Professor? Then You Too Can Write For ‘The Hill’

Hello, do you write incoherently and do you have a thinly veiled agenda? Then come on down to the Hill and write an Op-Ed, they apparently have very low standards and anyone is welcome! Like Dale Schlundt, an adjunct professor in Business Administration at at community college in Texas, who has written an incoherent article for us to enjoy. Bonus: he also may or may not have a farm where he breeds award-winning goats, if that’s something you are into. Anyway, when he is not (maybe) goat farming, he posts poorly written articles on the internet, like this one and also this other one, which highlight his ongoing challenges with subject-verb agreement. Anyway, today we will make fun of his most recent article, which attempts to explain why we need a “practical curriculum” in higher education. Read more on Are You An Old Crazy Community College Professor? Then You Too Can Write For ‘The Hill’…
  Sympathy for the Devil

Hero Teen Opposes Government School’s New ID Card Because It Is The Mark Of The Beast

Would you like a story about schools that isn’t horribly depressing, but only mildly eye-rolling? As it happens, we have one for you! A number of Texas school districts (yes, Texas again!) have figured out that since federal school funding is largely based on the numbers of butts in seats on a given school day, the better they can account for the attendance of every single student, the more funding they can get — and in a state that’s cutting education spending like crazy, that matters. To improve attendance stats, a number of districts are requiring students to wear ID badges with an RFID chip that automatically register whether students are in class or not, which is more accurate and more remunerative than the “taking attendance” method, apparently. Now, there are probably good reasons to be concerned about the privacy implications of all this, as well as how screwed up it is that the whole thing is driven by state cuts to education funding, but happily, we can sidestep all that for this story. That’s because the Hernandez family of San Antonio opposes the RFID badges at their daughter’s high school because they think it’s part of the Antichrist’s plan to make everyone have The Mark Of The Beast, so opposing the ID scheme is not about privacy or security, it’s now about religious oppression. Read more on Hero Teen Opposes Government School’s New ID Card Because It Is The Mark Of The Beast…