Tag: samuel alito

what the fresh prince did at home

Even Supreme Court’s Biggest Dicks Decline To Help Pennsylvania Mapfuckers

Let's celebrate that Super Bowl win with some nice, new electoral districts!

The GOP Phones A Friend: ‘Hey, Justice Alito! Wanna Help Us Steal Some More Elections?’

The GOP just wants to steal one or two more elections. IS THAT SO WRONG?
Gingrey's been readin' up

Is Mr. Brilliant Jurist Neil Gorsuch Lying Or Just That Stupid, Or Both? (He Is Lying)

Could Neil Gorsuch be deliberately fibbing in a dissent to push an anti-gay agenda? We are ever so shocked.

Supreme Court To Texas: For The Last Time, There Is No ‘Evil Black Guy’ Standard!

Are BAD GUYS still entitled to a fair trial in the United American States? What's a little racism between friends, amirite?

Supreme Court Saves America From Transgender Teens Making Bathroom Everywhere

This kid really needs to pee, and SCOTUS won't let him.

Mediocre White Girl Fails To Take Down Affirmative Action

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States did a very good thing. They ruled against Ms. Abigail Fisher and her moronic lawsuit against the University of Texas, where she claimed she was not admitted because she was white....
Same image is also captioned with 'We are the radical leftists of the NEA. And we have your kids!' Gotta love the internet.

Supreme Court Fixing To Strangle Uppity Public Worker Unions Dead, Maybe

Big things at the Supreme Court Monday, with oral arguments in a case that could do Seriously Bad Things to public sector unions. If the plaintiffs in Friedrichs v. California Teachers Association win, unions representing public workers could "lose tens...
King of the Jews

Ted Cruz Will Save Jew Churches From The Homosexuals

Hey Jewish people, how was your weekend? Did you go to Jew Church and get very upset because you don't want President Obama to force your Jew Church to do gay weddings? OBVIOUSLY YOU DID. But don't worry anymore,...
Could be worse

Supreme Court Conservatives Say Murdering Inmates Still A-OK

On Monday, the Supreme Court upheld Oklahoma's blatantly cruel practice of execution by lethal injection, declaring that there's nothing cruel and unusual about it, so rock on, Oklahoma, and lethally inject all the death-row inmates you want. The state uses...
Now they've even destroyed the sanctity of divorce

Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful

It turns out that not every single U.S. American is sexcitedly happy dancing because the Supreme Court confirmed that, per the Constitution, the Constitution is for everybody. Like, some of the justices on the Supreme Court (but not enough of...
America now officially over

Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect

Get ready for another round of whining about "creeping Sharia," America. The Supreme Court has ruled that an Arkansas prisoner can grow a beard because he's a Muslim. The justices said that inmate Gregory Holt could maintain a half-inch beard...

Federalist Society 2014: Conservalawyers Throw Constitution Terrible Party

If you were in the nation's capital over the weekend, you might have sensed a certain something in the air. Beyond DC's typical ambient pomposity, there was an extra whiff of self-satisfied libertarianism and an elevated concentration of unironic bowties in the area...
He got there all on his own

Only Men Are Allowed To Use Daddy’s Name To Run For Office, Duh

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. Actually, it's hard most of the time -- thanks, MEN -- but it's especially hard if you're a woman running for office: Last week, a statewide official in Georgia accused Democratic Senate candidate...
He Kept Us Mostly Safe Kind Of

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism

Well, fans of Christianist textbooks, just like in 1989, we're just about at the end of history once again, or at least the end of our two rightwing Christian textbooks, almost. Last week, our 11/12th-grade textbook, United States History...

Here Is All The Worst Supreme Court Suck On The Hobby Lobby Ruling For Ladyparts Only

If you want to spend your morning rage-reading the Supreme Court's decision in Burwell, Secretary of Health and Human Services, et al. v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., et al., aka, Actual Science Stuff v. People Who Think Your Birth...