Tag Archives: same-sex marriage

  Know what else costs 30 pieces of silver? MY JESUS CAKES.

Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed

Just last week, Good Christian Bigot Barronelle Stutzman, the owner of Arlene’s Flowers, Inc., received some bad news when a Washington Superior Court judge told her that no, her “relationship with Jesus” was not a good excuse for discriminating against The Gay, in violation of the state’s Consumer Protection Act. Stutzman had begged the judge to pretty please make all the lawsuits against her go away because her refusal to provide flowers for a gay customer’s gay wedding whose gay money she’d happily been taking for nearly a decade was all just a “misunderstanding.” The judge agreed that yes, there was indeed a misunderstanding, by Stutzman, of how the law works. Read more on Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed…
  Another oppressor oppressed

Washington Judge To Florist: ‘Relationship With Jesus’ Not Good Reason For Being A Bigot

Flowers for gays available, just not gay weddings
Bad news for bigots. Again. On Wednesday, Washington State Superior Court Judge Alexander C. Ekstrom ruled that a “relationship with Jesus” is not a good enough excuse for a business owner to discriminate against The Gay, even if her Bible tells her so. Because Washington residents must answer to a higher authority: the law o’ the land. Read more on Washington Judge To Florist: ‘Relationship With Jesus’ Not Good Reason For Being A Bigot…
  Some of his best friends are bestialists too

Antonin Scalia Doesn’t Hate Gay People, He’s Just Mean Because He Thinks They’re Cute

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is begging you — begging, you guys — to stop thinking he’s anti-gay. What? He’s serious, guys. C’mon! Last week we told you the story about how Notorious RBG was sippin’ that purple drank at the State of the Union, and the internet collectively exploded from how awesome she is. Again. Ginsburg made those comments at an informal event at George Washington University, which was also attended by Antonin Scalia, the Squidward to Ginsburg’s Spongebob. In the course of discussing the upcoming Supreme Court case that could decide the fate of same-sex marriage nationwide, Scalia asked the audience not to consider him “anti-gay,” which is kind of like Bryan Fisher asking that you not consider him “anti-Jew” but rather just “pro-Inquisition.” Read more on Antonin Scalia Doesn’t Hate Gay People, He’s Just Mean Because He Thinks They’re Cute…
  Virginia Really IS for Lovers This Time

Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate

Equal Parts Right & Rights
For the easily outraged, the only thing rivaling the “Sanctity of Marriage” is the “Sanctity of Official State Documents.” So the following Nice Time story will provide a respite from perpetual intolerance veiled in bureaucracy. Read more on Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate…
  Just Like George Wallace

Alabama Judges Forget How Law Works, Sorry Gay Couples

Artist's rendering
Remember when you and all your liberal commie friends were smoking crack rock together, on a Sunday no less, and played that game where you guessed which state would be the absolute dead last to legalize gay marriage? Read more on Alabama Judges Forget How Law Works, Sorry Gay Couples…
  Notorious RBG Meets Noxious WTF

Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball

Dangerous radicals
The American Patriarchy Association, fronted by spokescreep Bryan Fischer, is calling for Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to recuse themselves from the Supreme Court’s upcoming case on same-sex marriage because they’re entirely too biased on the issue. And who better to opine on this than a man who believes the First Amendment only applies to Christians and that the only laws that are truly Constitutional are those which God would agree with? Read more on Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: For 2016, GOP Debates To Try Ackin’ Less Cray-Cray (Video)

Somebody's enjoying this a little too much
Rachel Maddow was in full political-nerd bliss Friday with this report on the announced schedule for the 2016 GOP primary debates. Rachel is pretty sure the best TV series of 2012 was the “nationally-televised tragicomedy of the Republican presidential primary debates,” and she’s looking forward to the 2016 edition, even if the party has taken a number of steps to tamp down on the crazy, like dictating that any candidate participating in a non-official debate will be barred from appearing in the remaining official ones. And here’s a surprise: Three of the nine planned debates will be on Fox. But let’s not get discouraged: Even with these attempts to rein in the process, there’s almost certainly going to be plenty of crazy to go around. Read more on Morning Maddow: For 2016, GOP Debates To Try Ackin’ Less Cray-Cray (Video)…
  The Decisis Stares Back At You

SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June

Have fun biting your nails
Well, we saw this one coming: The Supreme Court will (probably) decide once and for all whether states can ban gay marriage. The Court agreed Friday to review the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision in DeBoer v. Snyder, which is the only one of a recent string of federal appeals court decisions to hold that four states — Michigan, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Ohio — can restrict marriage to straight people only. Read more on SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones

Oh, Rick “Don’t Google Me, seriously, stop it, it’s not funny anymore!” Santorum, how we love thee. Santorum has the unique gift of standing out as one of the craziest Bible-humping crazies in a crowded field of serious contender crazies. Like, no matter how far to the right his fellow conservatives go, he goes even farther than that. He will throw up at the thought of John F. Kennedy. He will make his children hug the dead fetus. He will wish his Jew friends a Happy Jesus Christmas Chanukah for Jesus. He will go there and do that and then some. But, hey, when it comes to the presidential race in 2016, he wants you to know, he’s the serious one, unlike those other nuts. Seriously! Read more on Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones…
  Nobody Around Here Understands His Potato

Idaho Gov ‘Butch’ Otter Asks Supreme Court To End Gay Marriage. For The Kids!

Furry marriage as God intended it. (With separate vacations, apparently)
Four months after the Supreme Court crammed marriage equality down Idaho’s throat, Idaho Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter is asking the Supreme Court for a do-over. Oh, sure, you might think that when the Court upheld the 9th Circuit’s ruling invalidating Idaho’s ban on same-sex marriage back in October, that would have settled it, but Gov. Otter thinks the Supremes need to take a whole new look at the case, because Idaho actually has a very compelling reason for not letting people marry in the wrong combinations: It’s all about The Children. Read more on Idaho Gov ‘Butch’ Otter Asks Supreme Court To End Gay Marriage. For The Kids!…
  Florida: A Living Segregation History Museum

If Florida Counties Have To Marry The Gays, They Just Won’t Marry Anyone. Happy Now, The Gays?

Like any agenda could be more gay than a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper
So now that the Supreme Court has crammed marriage equality down Florida’s throat, some Florida counties are responding with a move that seems almost reflexive for Southern states that don’t want to have the wrong people’s “civil rights” forced upon them. Rather than perform same-sex marriages, the clerks of the court for five Florida counties have decided that they just plain won’t perform any marriage ceremonies at their courthouses anymore: Read more on If Florida Counties Have To Marry The Gays, They Just Won’t Marry Anyone. Happy Now, The Gays?…
  Duggar? I Hardly Even Knew 'Er!

The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do

So beautiful and Goddy
Hey, kids, the Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, First Family of the Quiverful movement (motto: “Babies For God! Shoes For Industry!”), just put up a Facebook post to let the world know that married people kissyface is the greatest thing in the world. And they were actually being very brave, because someone on the Internet was rude to their perfect newlywed daughter Jessa, after she posted an InstaSnoggogram photo of her and her new husband, ManFace, locking lips. Here’s the Duggartext, with the interesting part for us bolded: Read more on The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do…
  Republican won't let gays get wet

Don’t Feed The Gays After Midnight

No self-respecting gay person would be caught dead driving one of these
Anthony Culler, the Republican running against James Clyburn for South Carolina’s 6th Congressional District, has a few problems as a candidate, according to The Hill. Culler “is not well-liked by the GOP establishment in South Carolina, and has no chance of defeating Clyburn this fall.” So Culler thought it was a pretty darn good idea to post a long dumb rant on Facebook explaining why the Gays and their fake “marriages” will be the ruination of us all, and almost offhandedly mentioning that The Gays are exactly like the critters from Joe Dante’s 1984 movie Gremlins: Read more on Don’t Feed The Gays After Midnight…
  Now From Our Boise Bureau

Nice Time: Idaho Veterans Cemetery Will Stop Discriminating Against Dead Gay Sailors

Jean Mixner & Madelynn Taylor; Mixner died in 2012
Remember the infuriating story about Madelynn Lee Taylor, the Navy veteran who wanted to reserve a spot in the Idaho Veterans Cemetery for her ashes, to be interred with the ashes of her late wife, Jean Mixner? The two had been together since 1995, and were legally married in California in 2008. Except Idaho wouldn’t let Taylor reserve a niche in its “columbarium” for both herself and Mixner, who died in 2012, because Idaho didn’t do marriage equality, and didn’t recognize same-sex marriages from other states, either. Not even if the gay people were dead. How’s that for protecting the sanctity of marriage? Read more on Nice Time: Idaho Veterans Cemetery Will Stop Discriminating Against Dead Gay Sailors…
  And Yet Furries Still Fight For Recognition

WND Publisher Joseph Farah Just Wants Equal Rights For His People, The Hate-Gay-Marriageists

Admit it: You only read 'Nostromo' because it was the name of the ship In 'Alien'
WorldNetDaily publisher Joseph Farah is taking a break from his critical work on behalf of birthers and believers in various conspiracies to explain that laws preventing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation are actually Very Discriminatory Indeed — not against a religion (fundamentalist Christianity), but against one of the very sexual orientations that such silly laws purport to protect! Because now, being against marriage equality is its very own sexual orientation. Read more on WND Publisher Joseph Farah Just Wants Equal Rights For His People, The Hate-Gay-Marriageists…
  Sportsball nice time

Get A Kluwe, Morans!

He seems nice -- except, actually nice!
Former Minnesota Vikings Sportsball Human Chris Kluwe announced today that he and the team had reached an agreement to settle a lawsuit filed by Kluwe in the wake of his firing last year and a subsequent article he wrote accusing the Vikings of tolerating a culture of homophobia. Under the settlement, Kluwe, the team’s former “puntsman,” will receive no money himself, but the Vikings will “donate an undisclosed amount to five charities over the next five years to benefit LGBT and anti-hate groups, and will sponsor a fundraiser.” Read more on Get A Kluwe, Morans!…
  because that's where his clitoris is

Circuit Court Tells Utah Attorney General To Open His Mouth Wider So They Can Cram Even More Gay Marriage In There

Was your Christmas wish for a whole bunch of teh gheys to get married and then you were super happy because Utah got you just what you wanted and your twitter feed was chock full o’ joyful joyful o come o come emmanuel gays getting hitched? But then Utah’s Attorney General said “naw mang, we didn’t mean to give you that present because that present will wreck your life” and has been trying to pry it out of your hands since Friday’s court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage in Utah? Just how many ways has Utah tried to take your big gay toy away? Pretty much 12 Days of Christmas’ worth. Read more on Circuit Court Tells Utah Attorney General To Open His Mouth Wider So They Can Cram Even More Gay Marriage In There…
  here comes the boom

Activist Judges Cramming Constitution Down Utah’s Throat

BLAM. You hear that? That’s both the sound of a liebrul activist judge dropping a big old gay gavel and the sound of one million wingnut heads asplodin’. Yes, a federal district court judge in Utah — WE SAID UTAH, PEOPLE — has struck down that state’s same-sex marriage ban, even though it was well-loved by voters and passed with a 66% referendum majority back in 2004. Bring it, Judge Robert Shelby: The State’s current laws deny its gay and lesbian citizens their fundamental right to marry and, in so doing, demeans the dignity of these same-sex couples for no rational reason. Accordingly, the court finds that these laws are unconstitutional. Salt Lake City wasted no time and is already issuing same-sex marriage licenses. Looks like someone in the clerk’s office gonna find themselves #inpeached. Read more on Activist Judges Cramming Constitution Down Utah’s Throat…
  fight for your right to discriminate

Patriotic Senators Boldly Stand Up For Oppressive Religious Majority What Wants To Be Anti-Gay

You know what sucks about being an American? When the big bad government steps in and says that you have to treat all people the same, even if they are not like you. First, they came for our lunch counters, and now they are coming for our discrimination against gays. Luckily, there are some patriotic senators who think this whole “all men created equal” thing has gone too far, and are willing to stand up for your god-given mandated right to discriminate against things you find icky. Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) has introduced a bill that, according to ThinkProgress, “guarantees that businesses and even government employees can refuse to recognize a same-sex marriage and discriminate against anybody who engages in premarital sex.” It’s about time someone stood up for the oppressed Christianist majority, who keep on being persecuted by being forced to follow the same law as everyone else, like they are not even special or set apart or anything! Let’s same-sexplore.  Read more on Patriotic Senators Boldly Stand Up For Oppressive Religious Majority What Wants To Be Anti-Gay…
  logical fallincy

Terrible Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin To Gay Soldiers: Fine. Now Nobody Gets Spousal Benefits. Happy Now, Hmmm?

So you already knew about the kerfuffle over the Defense Department’s fascist oppressive decree that, Yes, the National Guard actually is part of the military, so married partners of gay service members actually do get to sign up for spousal benefits. And you knew that Texas is saying “Chain of command? What chain of command? We ain’t signing up no homeaux for no benefits.” Well, rather than defying the DoD directive by continuing to refuse spousal benefits for gay sojers, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin has found a really clever way to treat every military family equally: She’s eliminated ALL spousal benefits for married couples in the Oklahoma National Guard, gay and normal-type. How do you like THAT, eh, sweetie? Hmm? You people want equality? Well, you’re equal NOW, aren’t you? Apparently she got the idea from this awesome Vonnegut short story she heard about. Read more on Terrible Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin To Gay Soldiers: Fine. Now Nobody Gets Spousal Benefits. Happy Now, Hmmm?…