What a fantastic spring it’s been in DC, what with the terrible muggy spell in early May, and now there’s nothing but terrible swampy grossness ahead! Fortunately, DC’s “celebrities” can be spotted both in- and out of doors, where they engage in elite activities such as air travel, grocery shopping, lunching, and even watching sports events. After the jump: Find out which famous politician hums loudly to himself in public bathrooms.

Ever been waiting around to pick up your deli sandwich or your luggage or collect your mail or whatever, and you see some very put-together man or lady giving you the eye like they would like to take you up to Eliot Spitzer’s room at the Mayflower? It’s probably one of those terrible people you’ve seen on O’Reilly’s show talking about the sanctity of post-marital sex. Tell us about these encounters, and other more boring encounters please! Write to tips@wonkette with subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

Once a very long time ago (last year), Wonkette’s Liz Glover cornered Sam Donaldson and scored what she calls “my favorite interview ever.” But then shortly after the interview Wonkette was no longer owned by Gawker Media and all our own videos disappeared down a rabbit hole/server farm under Balthazar, and we were sad. The video has miraculously surfaced once again, (thanks Liz!), and we share it with you, the reader, to remind you of all that shall be lost when Mr. Donaldson retires. [YouTube]

Youngsters know Sam Donaldson as one of the geezers on This Week who’s always yelling at George Will. But those of you over the age 15 might also recall that Sam Donaldson has been in the news business for several centuries and is prone to marvelous, sweeping and generally wrong predictions, like how Bill Clinton would leave office in like minus two seconds if the Monica Lewinsky rumors were true. He also enjoyed shouting at Ronald Reagan a lot. Here is a loving tribute from Cokie Roberts: on an overnight flight to France, Sam Donaldson once “had the flight attendants literally on their knees at his seat.” This American Hero will retire next week at the age of 74. [Washington Post]

All the libtards who watched Paul Krugman go cross-eyed with frustration on This Week yesterday as he tried to explain very simple economic terms and concepts to Sam Donaldson and Carly Fiorina may get a kick out of his column this morning. Clearly Paul just wandered off the set and in a fit of squirmy, nerdish pique typed out this thing declaring that anyone who says dumb things about the stimulus package is a lying fraud. MORE »

Do you know what we miss? We miss Sam Donaldson yelling questions at Ronald Reagan, and telling weird stories, and doing his “webcast” at the Republican and Democratic presidential conventions in 2000. Here, our own Liz Glover asks Sam to tell some stories, and good lord, does he oblige. This was at the Michael Kelly Awards over at the Atlantic Monthly’s office on Thursday night. (Yes we know Donaldson is on ABC’s This Week but we never wake up in time for that, due to booze.)

A hazy, unconfirmed source is claiming that ABC News’ Sam Donaldson’s number appears in the phone records of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the DC Madam. If true, it appears Barbara Walters is officially tapped out. [Big Head DC via Radar]

UPDATE: Nevermind. Big Head DC just made shit up, so the universe is back in order. Watch Radar strip down its editor.

Those interested in the commuting, eating, and theater habits of John Bolton , Evan Bayh, Grover Norquist, and Sam Donaldson will find this week’s Wonk’d to their taste. Those more interested in the handjob “Tucker Carlson” got in a KFC bathroom from one of DC’s famous tranny hookers will also be well served by reading on.

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What’s creepier than Mark Foley’s IMs or even Dennis Hastert’s “Casual Encounters” messages? MORE »

It’s a full service edition of Wonk’d, as Bill Frist stands Chrst-like in front of a three-way mirror for a suit fitting, and Jenna and Barbara Bush get spa treatments. LL Cool J and Wolf Blitzer take to the city’s fine dining establishments, while Dick Cheney and Ashlee Simpson stick to the ‘burbs.

Different strokes for different folks. While Teresa Heinz Kerry might not think twice about dropping six bills on dinner, Ruth Bader Ginsburg shops at Safeway like the rest of us. That, and Sam Donaldson has to bribe a cabbie to get picked up, just like we do.

You know the drill: the full list of sightings appears after the jump. And please continue to email us with your celebrity sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks in advance for your delectable contributions.

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This Sunday’s shows undertook a major military operation. Between the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and “Operation Swarmer,” talking heads all but saluted. Russ Feingold managed to grab some of the spotlight, and his motion to censure President Bush gave Bill Kristol another chance to rock Chris Wallace’s world: Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” That sound you heard is Nancy Pelosi’s head exploding. Dick Cheney did “Face the Nation” but did not make much news beyond the world’s most awesome Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President–Vice President running for President.

Also, debuting this week on ABCNews.com was “The Green Room,” a brave attempt to wring every possible bit of hot air from the “This Week” panel while they stand around uncomfortably after the show wraps in the nondescript, motel-ish decor of ABC’s DeSale St. digs. Personally, I have always found pre-show green room chatter more interesting (everyone’s trying out their lines) and the whole thing strikes me as an empty attempt to show us another side of people who are basically one-dimensional, but I applaud this Taylorite approach to news content and hope that less practiced pundits do something stupid and/or inspired backstage in the future.

Top topics: Iraq, Feingold’s censure motion and by extension the NSA wiretap program.

One-hit wonders: Boston College’s Sweet Sixteen chances (”Meet the Press”); Joey Cheek, humanitarian (”This Week”); Mark McClellan, TREKKIE (”Fox News Sunday”)

Quotes to live by:
• Dick Cheney admits that shooting someone in the face is “one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.”
• Chris Wallace, SUPER GENIUS: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of [the NSA wiretapping] program are the ones who know the least about it.”
• George Will lays it out: “We need to define victory down.”
• Sam Donaldson is totally high: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.”

Also, Shorter Chris Matthews Show: David Gregory observed that “George Bush is the George Clooney of Washington… but that’s a little bit of a patina.” Wha?

Full rundown appears after the jump.

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* Reliable Source: Bush holds public reenactment of Alito’s private swearing in. . . Rep. Jim Moran’s (D-Va.) cell phone rang during the State of the Union. . . Hastert, Specter, Harman had dinner at the Charlie Palmer Steakhouse before the SOTU. . . Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine appears with Sam Donaldson. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen. McCain (R-Ariz.) has a cameo in “24″ on Monday night. . . Sens. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.) and Reps. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) and George Miller (D-Calif.) viewed the State of the Union from “undisclosed locations” for security reasons. . . Home of Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) was vandalized with video tape while she was away at Sundance celebrating the release of a film about her life. . . Linda Douglass of ABC News is joining NYU as a senior fellow. . . Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.) has had enough with Democratic opponent Colleen Rowley. [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Joint Chiefs of Staff complains to the Washington Post about cartoonist Tom Toles‘ depiction of wounded troops. [WT]
* Liz Smith: Bush jokes about seeing “Brokeback Mountain” with Cheney. [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Web of Jack Abramoff’s influence may only reach the wives and grown children of implicated lawmakers. . . George Pataki makes his fifth trip to Iowa next month. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep are losing faith in Democrats. [NYDN]