Wonkette

* Hate crime legislation makes Jesus cry. [Traditional Values Coalition via Pandagon]
* Mike Huckabee’s son busted for carrying a handgun and at least 50 extra pounds through the Little Rock airport. [Radar]
* Iraqi government spokesman Dan Bartlett not happy about the timeline bill. [The Left Coaster]
* And neither is Joe “I Hold Harry Reid’s Life In My Hands” Lieberman. [GOP Bloggers]
* Paul Begala is so fucking pissed at that “gasbag” David Broder. [HuffPo]
* Sam Brownback’s in the closet … on immigration. [Hit & Run] MORE »

We have nothing to add to this post on Sam Brownback’s official campaign blog, other than BROWNBACK ‘08!

Why is memory not taught at every level of our educational system
April 11, 2007
The greeks believed in such a discipline and the best became Roman slaves, who taugh the Romans. All around the med this was true. Then Atilla must have given all the slaves their freedom, put them on his payroll, send them to Austria to discover Mozart, and guess what, Rome with out Nomenclators (you look it up) Yep Rome fell. MORE »

* Everything you ever needed to know about national security law you learned by watching The Wire. [Danger Room]
* John Edwards is pissed his party powder shipment got opened by a staffer. [News & Observer]
* Tom DeLay wants to arm-wrestle Bill Clinton over who loathes Newt Gingrich more. [Captain's Quarters]
* Sam Brownback would like to take this opportunity to remind you that he does, in fact, hate the gays. To reiterate: hates the gays, definitely not gay himself. Nope, definitely not. [1115]
* Military blogger conference to have largest concentration of geeks that can kill you in three seconds. [Blackfive]
* Joe Trippi is sure as he can be that “Every one of these candidates is going to get caught in a macaca moment.” [PrezVid]
* Rahm Emmanuel finds Stephen Colbert “unsafe.” [The Hill]

* Phil Gingrey proves you can always trust a congressman with a dyed mustache to give you the best information on cockroach and rodent infestation. [Think Progress]
* Sam Brownback pretends he likes girls. [Spin Cycle]
* “CNN Contributor Tom DeLay, live, in the Situation Room.” [Political Wire]
* Scooter planning to out Valerie Plame — as a lesbian. [Comedy Central Insider]
* Hillary Clinton is conspiring to make sure your blog sucks. [Eschaton]
* Cops and firefighters remember why they hate Giuliani. [NYDN, Political Insider]

Sam Brownback, the Presidential candidate known primarily for having a dirty name, never showing up to work, have a weird prison fetish, and using one of the greatest visual aids in Senate History, wants you to think of him as a “Wilberforce Republican.”

What the hell is he talking about? Come learn and grow with us, after the jump.

MORE »

Some kids from the American Conservative Student Union have started a website tracking congressional attendance. It’s a fun little resource, and the “perfect attendance” list is pretty bipartisan. Their list of the worst offenders is above. Naturally, a tax-leeching Dumb-o-crat is right on top. It’s a Democrat who’s still recovering in a hospital from a debilitating brain injury, but isn’t that just like the Dems? MORE »

* Thanks to Terry McAuliffe, Bill Clinton is an inspiration for gays on the whole Korean peninsula. [Hotline on Call]
* Prove you’re biggest Bush hater in your town: buy the “impeachbush.com” domain name today! [Ebay]
* Fired Time staffers: Don’t blame the internet for your kid’s impending malnutrition. [BuzzMachine]
* Sam Brownback will make a big announcement today— that he’s running for President. Get your mind out of the gutter. [CQ Politics]
* Barack the vote! [Café Press]
* We know must-see-TV takes a back seat to must-drink-on-Thursday-nights, so here’s the Colbert/O’Reilly videos you missed. [Alternet]

Sam Brownback is still running for President! The Senator from somewhere white will announce tomorrow, two days before the anniversary of Roe v Wade, the one thing he hates more than homosexuals. MORE »

Nearly every sighting this week comes from the exact same place, several at the exact same time. Wonkette operatives didn’t even need to use their sharp eyes to spot these old men in a barrel. Apparently, Bistro Bis is the be-seen restaurant du jour. Or maybe it was all along — the closest we come to a power lunch is eating a burrito really fast. But John Kerry, John Bolton, Jon Tester , Jim Lehrer, and Steve Kroft have more discriminating palates. You get all of them, and one Senator too busy working on his abs to respect his elders, by indulging your Mecury-in-retrograde-moon-is-in-the-seventh-house fantasies on the other side of the worm hole.

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* Joint Chiefs wary of troop increase in Iraq, make their case to the White House, get accused of being too “focused on the mission.” [WP]
* Robert Gates is sworn in as Secretary of Defense, uses occasion to dig Rumsfeld. Plus one. [WP]
* Rudy Giuliani is about to find out how Christian conservatives feel about politicians that are “Made in New York City.” [WP]
* Big Juan Enrique was a lettuce pickin’ man, died with that arugula in his hand. [WSJ]
* Justice Department inquiry into detainee abuse runs into dead-end, produces no indictments. [NYT]
* Sam Brownback lays down and lets a nominee for the Federal bench proceed, expects a reach-around. [NYT]
* India’s nuclear program goes legit. [WP, NYT]
* Renovated White House “Situation Room” is substantially less impressive than those used by Bartlett, Bauer, and Blitzer. [NYT]

Ultra-conservative Senator Sam Brownback, in Iowa pretending to be a viable presidential candidate, stunned witnesses by declaring that the Republican party wouldn’t necessarily blackball any candidate who suggested demonstrating a tentative support for gay rights, or at least not publicly executing homos. MORE »

* Sam Brownback figures if he spends the night in jail, he’ll have to get some nutsack to butt-crack lovin’. [Political Ticker]
* Donald Rumsfeld is even in denial about the American Civil War. [Think Progress]
* “Experts” are now “evaluating” Ted Haggard’s gayness. [Pandagon]
* Laura Bush is too classy to slap the bitch that was wearing her same dress — she just had highly trained Secret Service agents go and fetch her another one. [Boozhy]
* “The greatest actor, ever” shares his wisdom on how to defeat terrorism, and defeat it the F.A.G. way. [HuffPo]
* Everything William Jefferson does is shady as shit. [MyDD]
* Noam Chomsky “could fart and it would smell like wisdom.” [Power, Seduction and War]

* As John Bolton steps down, his shoes, though not his mustache, are likely to be filled by Zalmay Khalilzad. [WP, NYT]
* Bolton’s UN colleagues feel like it’s their birthday. [NYT]
* Sam Brownback can’t quit the idea of being President. [WP]
* Republicans will try to muscle through a weird “Abortion Anesthesia Bill” before the close of Congress. [WP]
* President Bush meets with Iraqi Shiite leader who thinks the only policy change America needs is to kick more ass, take less names. [WP, NYT]
* FBI spends too much time investigating mine-sweeper, comes up short on funds for new computer system. [NYT]
* NASA’s plan for a new moon base is supported by space cadets. [WP]
* Paper of record covers DC’s ruthless manipulation of Utah, hunt for most basic constitutional rights. [NYT]