Good morning! Or IS IT? That all depends on how well are you protecting your family from animal-human hybrids. “Eh, a medium—but responsible!—amount,” you tell yourself. Uh huh, sure. Have you introduced an actual piece of legislation that will BANISH these non-existent monsters from what could be but definitely won’t be reality? Sam Brownback and 20 other 100% pure human (that we know of??) Senators have done just that. MORE »

• Barack Obama and Bundesrepublik Deutschland Wurstdame Angela Merkel had an awkward relationship in the ’80s, but now they are willing to put the past behind them and cut a deal. Prediction: Merkel gets AIG and Obama gets to massage Merkel’s muscular shoulders. It is peace for our time. [HuffPost]
• The Mystery of Reducing Health Care Costs was simplicity itself: elementary, really. “Why, Holmes,” chirped Watson, “did Obama kill all the old people to save money?” Indubitably, my dear Watson. Indubitably. [RedState]
• How many marijuana cigarettes does Barack Obama smoke in the Oval Office every day? Trick question! He rips bong. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS) is now the third Republican to state publicly that he will vote NO on Sotomayor, no matter what. But if he had been the FOURTH Republican he would have won the toaster oven! [Think Progress]
• On July 4, Barack Obama will be savoring deep-fried Dijon-infused Bolivian Revolution Burgers with Hugo Chávez. And Evo Morales might stop by later, with an eighth of his famous Inca Herb. [Michelle Malkin]

• Sam “Who? Oh right” Brownback will quit his job as Senator of Kansas so he can be Governor of Kansas. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Obama’s entire dumb listserv hates him for begging them to buy Hope paraphernalia, and the families of everyone on Obama’s dumb listserv hates him for indirectly being responsible for their receiving of Hope paraphernalia. [Politico]
• Condi & the State Department recommended against re-hiring securities contractor Blackwater when the firm’s contract expires next year. It will quietly be replaced by Joe Biden’s weird squadron of hellpuppies. [The Daily Beast]
• Gays and friends of gays and non-Mormons are terribly upset that Obama picked Prop. 8-supporter Rick Warren, he of Saddleback and nauseating goatee notoriety, to deliver the invocation at his Inauguration. [AMERICAblog]
• Laurie Coleman, wife of Norm, has hired a lawyer named Earl Gray, who’s described as an “aggressive defender of celebrity clients” and, alternately, “a blend of Indian and Ceylon teas.” [TPMMuckraker]

Republican Senator and failed presidential candidate Sam Brownback, on a conference call today: “John McCain’s a maverick. He’s fought for a bipartisan fashion … I think that the biggest thing I’ve seen from Barack Obama is a willingness, aggressiveness, to talk bipartisan and yet to vote the hard left — most liberal member of the United States Senate.” A known liberal!

Hey Sam Brownback, remember that time you and Barack Obama wrote a Bipartisan op-ed for the Washington Post in 2005, about some of that Bipartisan stuff you two co-sponsored? [CQ]

The Time Magazine Man of the Year roadshow rolled into D.C. this morning at an ungodly hour despite the snow to get D.C. opinion leaders’ opinions on who Time should’ve chosen (since they’ve probably already decided) besides You, you narcissistic bastard. To help not decide, they invited Senator Sam Brownback, Representative Ellen Tauscher and Time Magazine employees Mark Halperin and Karen Tumulty. We don’t know why that group of people, really, but they fed us coffee and miniature pastries so that we couldn’t ask because our mouths were full.

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Pat Robertson’s endorsement of 9udy 11iuliani yesterday (above) was all the more surprising given the nature of its timing. As the two were on stage yesterday celebrating their unbeatable combination of Jesus and racism, Sam Brownback — the social conservative’s senator of choice — was announcing his endorsement of John McCain. So one social conservative endorses the abortionist, another endorses the Mexican-lover… Does anyone else smell a CONSPIRACY>?#@ MORE »

Pat Robertson endorsed Rudy Giuliani this morning, despite the latter’s obvious hatred of God. Watch Joe Scarborough break it down in the clip above! And in other social conservative news, ex-presidential candidate Sen. Sam Brownback will endorse John McCain this afternoon in Iowa. No one loves Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney sad!

Pat Robertson Endorses Giuliani [WP]
McCain gets conservative boost with Brownback endorsement [CNN]

This week, General Petraeus, James Carville, Wesley Clark, Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Sam Brownback, and Mary Cheney were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Republican presidential hopeful, U.S. Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan. during a speech at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics at Saint Anselm College in Manchester, N.H., Tuesday, Sept. 4, 2007. (AP Photo/Jim Cole)