Tag Archives: sally kern

  the derp is as high as an elephant's eye

Oklahoma Won’t Let A.P. History Defame America No More

George Washington crossing the Red River
The War on Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) racked up another successful squirmish Tuesday, as the Oklahoma House Education committee voted to ban any state funding of the classes, because APUSH is bad for America. Read more on Oklahoma Won’t Let A.P. History Defame America No More…
  what about the children?

Zero-Tolerance Suspensions For Pre-K Are Racially — WHAT? THEY SUSPEND PRE-K KIDS??!!11!

Guten Morgen, meine Wonkadamen und Wonkaherren! Feeling cheerful about your sportsball brackets so far? Or even more cheerful because you do not follow sportsball? Well, we are here to stop that good feeling, and make you so broody that you crush out your vape pen into your half-finished, tepid mochaccino, because we are srs blog. Today’s wrist-slitting Big Story from the Associated Press tells us that our nation’s educators are starting the school-to-prison pipeline even earlier than we thought, as SIX PERCENT of pre-schools report suspending at least one pre-school child. Naturally, as the Education Department’s civil rights division will report today, black children are disproportionately suspended. African-American children make up 18 percent of preschool students, but about half of the suspensions. Wait, did we say “naturally?” No, not naturally, you stupid pre-school administrators, THAT IS NOT NATURAL AT ALL, STOP IT! Read more on Zero-Tolerance Suspensions For Pre-K Are Racially — WHAT? THEY SUSPEND PRE-K KIDS??!!11!…
  the nerve!

Gay Bigots Won’t Stop Being Mad At Sally Kern For Saying They Are All AIDS-Riddled Terrorists

Oklahomans insist on electing something called a Sally Kern, a human-shaped object whose sole and all-consuming function is to fret about the gays and hate the gays, including asserting that the gays are the worstest terrorists alive, worse even than Muslims, along with the more garden variety leads to pedophilia bestiality yadda yadda yadda we’ve come to expect from her kind. But Kern really stands out from the rest of the gay-fearing/gay-hating crowd because of her unceasing willingness to always say the exact same things while also too shilling for her ridiculous book, The Stoning of Sally Kern.If you people love us, you will clicky clicky through that link and buy a copy of that thing and do a book report on the persecution of Sally Kern. So, how is Sally Kern mad about the gays today? Is it because gays are the real haters, for not liking being hated?? YEP! Read more on Gay Bigots Won’t Stop Being Mad At Sally Kern For Saying They Are All AIDS-Riddled Terrorists…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. Moore to complain that we STOLED her brilliant idea that was hers first. And so we proudly present “Today in Tabs, by Heidi N. Moore.” Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy…
  pop goes the weasel

Unexpected Bipartisanship: Wonket Agrees With Crazy Oklahoma Republican Lady We Shouldn’t Put Children In Pop-Tart Jail

Sally Kern, she’s this lady. “Oklahoma Republican” says everything it needs to say, right there, but she is an extra special Oklahoma Republican, mostly because she has P-E-N-I-S on her mind all the time. Gay P-E-N-I-S! Being crammed down her throat! (Luckily, that’s where her clitoris is.) But Sally Kern has a new bill in the Oklahoma lege, and even though there may be more important things out there that she could spend her time on, and it is sort of stupid, it’s not that stupid, so Sally Kern is way ahead of the Sally Kern curve. Read more on Unexpected Bipartisanship: Wonket Agrees With Crazy Oklahoma Republican Lady We Shouldn’t Put Children In Pop-Tart Jail…
  terror threat: terrible

Oklahoma Lady Adds Gays To Her Personal Terrorist Watch List

Do you remember Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern? She just loves those gays, if by “loves” we mean, wants to send them to Gitmo, for terrorism. And since it’s almost the Very Special 10th Anniversary of 9/11 and all, it seems she figured this would be a good time to remind America of her cause, which is to explain that the gays are worse than the Muslin terrorists, because gay people are out doing their glitter jihad on Jesus every single day. Read more on Oklahoma Lady Adds Gays To Her Personal Terrorist Watch List…
  it's morning in america

Other Non-Liveblogged Primaries Also Merit Your Attention!

And now, the primary results you’ve all been waiting for … the race for the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district! Wait, you weren’t waiting for this? Well, fuck you. Strom Thurmond’s son advanced to a runoff against the only black Republican in South Carolina’s state legislature. Bet you think it’s interesting now, huh? Jerk. Read more on Other Non-Liveblogged Primaries Also Merit Your Attention!… Read more on Other Non-Liveblogged Primaries Also Merit Your Attention!…
  oh ho ho

Funny Oklahoma Lady Who Hates Queers Develops New Economic Theory

Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern is famous for hating the Gays this one time, on YouTube, last year. In a hilarious recorded message to supporters, she claimed that the Gay Cancer was going to kill everyone, making the Gays “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.” And then everyone kept calling her son gay, which he denied, although he was “affiliated with the Des Moines School of Metaphysics,” which means: gay as the dickens. But this is all old news. The new news is that Ms. Rep. Kern has introduced a delightful new bill into her legislative chamber! Read more on Funny Oklahoma Lady Who Hates Queers Develops New Economic Theory…
 

Gay-Hating Rep. Sally Kern Gets Passive-Aggressive Death Threats

The Oklahoma Republican who charmed her way into America’s heart by denouncing the Gay Menace is now getting angry emails from people who want her dead. But instead of just coming right out and saying it, letter-writers beat around the bush with a bunch of doublespeak. Read more on Gay-Hating Rep. Sally Kern Gets Passive-Aggressive Death Threats…
 

Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern Hates The Gays With Vigorous, Sultry Passion

The past several years have taught us all a valuable lesson: the nuttiness of a Republican legislator’s homophobic rantings is directly proportional to the secret gay shame of that legislator, and inversely correlated to the amount of time before that person gets busted doing the thing they professed to find so repugnant. By this math, Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern will be discovered by week’s end trolling for muff in the ladies’ room of the World Golf Hall of Fame. Read more on Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern Hates The Gays With Vigorous, Sultry Passion…