Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

Oh great, now you cretins have ruined the Facebook experience of a Nobel-prize-winning physicist who is saving America from Energy Problems, when he’s not cooking or trying to learn golf. MORE »

We’ll admit, we have some sympathy for the former Republican leadership and George W. Bush with regards to the “John McCain situation.” It was kind of fun for us communists to see John McCain (occasionally, arbitrarily) challenge the Bush administration on a handful of issues over the years, but now that he’s doing the same thing to Obama, and after his election behavior… the guy’s just annoying, right? All he likes to do is annoy everyone. Hovering. It’s creepy. And CURSE the person who ever introduced him to Twitter, jesus… so what unnecessary stand is he taking now for the sole purpose of annoying everyone? Sam Stein with the scoop: “Sen. John McCain is putting together a major economic plan that will be structured, in some ways, off of Newt Gingrich’s famous Contract With America.” Eh, needs more Reagan. MORE »

That 0.6% bit of economic growth in the first quarter of 2008 was just the pathetic result of $3.50-a-gallon gasoline, but there is one sector of the U.S. economy that’s truly booming: Desperate Americans are selling off their last possessions on Craigslist and other online flea-market sites, just so they can buy a little food and gas. MORE »

Marketwatch wants you to cheer up. Well, not all of you, just the ones with investments and money who are freaking out because poor people are rioting over scarce food supplies, millions of foreclosed homes are sitting empty and unsold, and local governments are no longer able to afford police and firefighters to protect rich people from the hordes. What to do? Laugh, that’s what! MORE »