Wonkette

Guess who sold North Korea $200 million worth of nuclear reactors? Donald Rumsfeld, of course! MORE »

• Maverick McCain and his merry band of outlaws reject Bush’s, “alternative interrogation strategies” legislation, approve their own. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• Both houses of Congress shelve large ethics bills; do agree to write their name next to kickback payments, er, earmarks. [WP, NYT]
• Congressman Bob Ney will plead guilty to “Abramoff stuff,” but it’s not his fault — the booze made him do it. [WP, NYT]
• Judge in Saddam Hussein trial tells him, “You were not a dictator.” [CNN, LAT]
• World Bank releases list of countries not to visit on vacation this year. [WP]
• FDA goes against Popeye and your parents, issues warning about eating spinach. [WP]

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• Whatever Mahmoud has, Muammar wants - and thus the state blog of Libya is born. [AlGathafi Speaks via Hot Air]

• To some, the glass is always half-empty; to Republicans it’s always totally full no matter what. Like, even if it spills, its still full. [Unclaimed Territory]
• Armitage still only tip of iceberg in Plamegate, everyone still lying.[Political Animal]
• Marines in Iraq forcibly showing the South Park to Saddam — you know, the part where he’s Satan’s bottom. [Yahoo! News]
• Bloggers move one step closer to outing Anonymous pork loving senator, by sending “is it you?” emails. [Dean's World]

• The generosity of Hezbollah goes as far as their copy paper and green ink supply will take them. [Sticky Notes]

• The good Photoshop guy must’ve been too busy making those Benjamins — it’s nothing a little Google image search for “Israeli boat we blew up” won’t fix. [The Jawa Report]
• Israeli things that may actually sink include President and horny horn-dog Moshe Katsav. [1115]
• Saddam Hussein is no rapist, no sirree — if you say so, he’ll kill you. Somehow. [AFP]
• Another lusty international criminal is Osama bin Laden, who wouldn’t have to rape true love Whitney Houston, once that pesky Bobby Brown was out of the way. [Gawker]
• Really though, all the aggressive sex stuff would go away with just a little broadband access. [Professor Bainbridge]

• The administration moves to reclassify sensitive information on the US’s nuclear arsenal, like how many missiles we had in the 1960’s. [WP]

• European nations delay committing peacekeeping troops to Lebanon, play hot potato between giant international bureaucracies. [NYT]
• Only 20 are killed during annual Shiite pilgrimage in Baghdad, leading to praise for “draconian” security measures used to lower the death toll from last year’s 950. [LAT, NYT]
• JonBenet Ramsey suspect John Karr is flown to LA, no snakes aboard plane. [CNN]
• Next week is the anniversary of hurricane Katrina. New Orleans is still screwed, and Houston’s getting pissed. [USAT; LAT]
• As Saddam Hussein’s war crimes trial begins he still refuses to enter a plea or wear a tie. [WP, NYT]

Had a long week? Let Today’s Cartoons cheer you up, with their cheerful, hilarious caricatures and subtle wit! Or, as resident cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon explores this week, with thinly-veiled profanity and bizarre toilet humor. Same difference, in the end.

After the jump: Dogs peeing on congress and sexually harassing children, the f-bomb, and some serious monster-related creepiness. Enjoy.

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Ok, guys, we just wanted to say that we were the first openly pro-lobbyist media organization, and we have been defending Jack Abramoff since way before the rest of you johnny-come-latelies. We are looking specificially at you, Weekly Standard — that “I had lunch with him and he’s very charming” thing? Played out. MORE »

• Bush was intent on invading Iraq in January, 2003, even with the knowledge that Saddam Hussein had no unconventional weapons. “Extremely sensitive” memo summarizing meeting with Tony Blair shows both leaders believed victory would come quickly and ethnic strife was “unlikely.” Bush contemplated assassinating Hussein or painting a U.S. “surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire.” Chief advisor to Blair: “Our diplomatic strategy had to be arranged around the military planning.” [NYT]
• The public is losing confidence in the war and lawmakers that supported it; experts believe “this might mark a turning point in public perception.” [NYT]
• Large rallies support immigrants as lawmakers confront legislation aimed at curbing illegal immigrants. [NYT, USAT, WT]
• Pressure is on to make full disclosure of dealings with lobbyists; proposals demand accountability. [WP]
• Hillary is following Bush’s 1998 campaign strategy for her reelection. [NYT]
• Laura Bush churns through staff at a faster clip than her husband. [NYT]
• Former Virginia Gov. Mark Warner is distributing PAC funds to candidates in key ‘08 states. [WT]

This Sunday’s shows undertook a major military operation. Between the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and “Operation Swarmer,” talking heads all but saluted. Russ Feingold managed to grab some of the spotlight, and his motion to censure President Bush gave Bill Kristol another chance to rock Chris Wallace’s world: Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” That sound you heard is Nancy Pelosi’s head exploding. Dick Cheney did “Face the Nation” but did not make much news beyond the world’s most awesome Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President–Vice President running for President.

Also, debuting this week on ABCNews.com was “The Green Room,” a brave attempt to wring every possible bit of hot air from the “This Week” panel while they stand around uncomfortably after the show wraps in the nondescript, motel-ish decor of ABC’s DeSale St. digs. Personally, I have always found pre-show green room chatter more interesting (everyone’s trying out their lines) and the whole thing strikes me as an empty attempt to show us another side of people who are basically one-dimensional, but I applaud this Taylorite approach to news content and hope that less practiced pundits do something stupid and/or inspired backstage in the future.

Top topics: Iraq, Feingold’s censure motion and by extension the NSA wiretap program.

One-hit wonders: Boston College’s Sweet Sixteen chances (”Meet the Press”); Joey Cheek, humanitarian (”This Week”); Mark McClellan, TREKKIE (”Fox News Sunday”)

Quotes to live by:
• Dick Cheney admits that shooting someone in the face is “one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.”
• Chris Wallace, SUPER GENIUS: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of [the NSA wiretapping] program are the ones who know the least about it.”
• George Will lays it out: “We need to define victory down.”
• Sam Donaldson is totally high: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.”

Also, Shorter Chris Matthews Show: David Gregory observed that “George Bush is the George Clooney of Washington… but that’s a little bit of a patina.” Wha?

Full rundown appears after the jump.

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(Henry the Intern is out sick today, so please blame your editors for this somewhat tardy and shorter-than-usual newswrap.) MORE »

Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein at Trial [Reuters] MORE »

* Cindy Adams: Helen Thomas: “I think Iraqis were better off under Saddam than they are now. More importantly, the Israelis think so, too.”. . . Chelsea Clinton spotted with “too blond” hair and a “too plunging” neckline. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Arianna Huffington thinks Mary Matalin was “incredibly nasty” to Tim Russert. [NYDN]