Tag Archives: saddam hussein

  make love not war

Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did

His brain is broken.
Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidates before him, to answer the question, “would you have invaded Iraq?” To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said he would have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein anyway. How? He would use WAYS: Read more on Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did…
  never gonna be as smart as his brother

Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq

He's got a certain face when he's tryin' to figure stuff, just like his brother.
Jeb Bush sat down for a Fox News interview with Megyn Kelly that aired Monday, to talk about how much he wants to do presidenting, because his big brother (George W. Bush) got to do it and his dad got to do it, and he wants to be just like them. Kelly asked a completely straightforward very misleading question about the Iraq War his bro instigated: “Knowing what we know now, would you have authorized the invasion?” Either the baby Bush didn’t hear FULLY HALF OF THE VERY SIMPLE QUESTION, or he is a real big stupidhead, because this was his answer: Read more on Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq…
  Omission Accomplished

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism

He Kept Us Mostly Safe Kind Of
Well, fans of Christianist textbooks, just like in 1989, we’re just about at the end of history once again, or at least the end of our two rightwing Christian textbooks, almost. Last week, our 11/12th-grade textbook, United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2002), closed out* with a discussion of the 2000 election, so this week, we’ll rely solely on the the most fanciful textbook we’ve ever seen, A Beka’s 8th-grade America: Land I Love (2006), which advised us that George W. Bush’s “most important” qualification was that he “unashamedly identified himself as a born-again Christian” who “took a bold stand against moral evils such as abortion and gay rights.” And his presidency was almost as wonderful as Reagan’s, we learn, largely because Dubya rescued us from the horrors of the Clinton years. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism…
  now for something really cheerful

Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is

#451607616 / gettyimages.com You may have noticed that, apart from the supremely idiotic thoughts of the people who got America into Iraq in the first place, we haven’t been covering the terrible situation in that country much, because there is absolutely zero that’s funny about it. And there’s even less to laugh at in this latest development: The United Nations says that in Mosul, ISIS has ordered all women and girls between the ages of 11 and 45 to undergo female genital mutilation. We hope the Hobby Lobby folks don’t get any ideas. Read more on Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is…
  he regrets nothing

Tony Blair Loved Invading Iraq, Is History’s Politest Greatest Monster

What have we here? Oh, just war cheerleader/criminal/former British Prime Minister Tony Blair frantically trying to wipe the Iraqi blood off his mouth and the permanent stain off his soul by penning one bazookabillion words for The Independent about how the 2003 invasion of Iraq WAS TOO a great idea and also too anything bad that happened totally wasn’t his fault, thank you very much. Read more on Tony Blair Loved Invading Iraq, Is History’s Politest Greatest Monster…
  this digression will not stand man

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Do Not Like Broccoli

After a million weeks on Ronald Reagan, the Greatest President Ever, our survey of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks will devote about 1500 words to his successor, George Herbert Walker Kennebunkport Milli Vanilli Bush, the 41st President and only the second-worst President named “George Bush.” And Happy Father’s Day to a very middling president whose son managed to make him look like a freakin’ statesman. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Do Not Like Broccoli…
  coincidence? we think not!

Fox News Finds Iraq’s Missing WMDs Right Where Saddam Hid Them, In Syria, Iran, Sudan, North Korea And Probably France

Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nightmare is over. Fox News “military analyst” retired Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerny has found the Weapons of Mass Destruction, and they are at points east, west, north and south of Syria, because why not. Also, the Russians helped hide them there, and (presumably) also in all the other countries we just happen to want to maybe invade right now, like probably Iran and North Korea and France, and no it is not at all “convenient,” hippie! Read more on Fox News Finds Iraq’s Missing WMDs Right Where Saddam Hid Them, In Syria, Iran, Sudan, North Korea And Probably France…
  Gettin the band back together

A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again

Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look back at the architects of that colossal fuck-up. Who were these paragons of American exceptionalism, and what are they doing today? Living quiet lives of reflection and repentance? Working every day with the wounded veterans who are such a large result of their policies? Standing in the dock at the Hague? Committing seppuku, the ritual suicide by disembowelment practiced by Japanese samurai when they brought shame and dishonor upon themselves and their nation? To the Google! Read more on A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again…
  axis of fantasy

Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein

In the summer of 2001, while most Americans were first and foremost worried about shark attacks, our newly installed neocon foreign policy leaders had their eyes on the real enemy, the one man who was working tirelessly to destroy us: Saddam Hussein. This evil dictator, whose plans for world conquest had received a minor setback a decade earlier when the vast majority of his armed forces and military hardware were destroyed, was assembling a fearsome arsenal of chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons to strike at us. The only thing that could sap America’s resolve to finish the job and kill the guy who tried to kill the president’s father after the president’s father tried to kill him? Why, Saddam Hussein’s very best friend, Osama bin Laden, who spent much of 2001 running a disinformation campaign (with the liberal CIA’s help) meant to stop our heroic march to Iraqi victory. Read more on Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein…
  saddamn hussein can't talk anymore

Fred Thompson Knows a Thing Or Two About Speeches!

Oh, Dipshit Magoo! Why would Saddam Hussein give a speech announcing the end of U.S. combat operations in Iraq? That is extremely difficult to fathom. Besides, if Obama really had had his way, Saddam Hussein would be serving on the Supreme Court as the token bearded lesbian. Oh, and the Supreme Court would be renamed “Park 51.” The End. [Twitter] Read more on Fred Thompson Knows a Thing Or Two About Speeches!…
  saddam/santelli '12

REMEMBER THE ‘IRAQ WAR’? “During planning for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, the CIA’s Iraq Operations Group kicked around a number of ideas for discrediting Saddam Hussein in the eyes of his people. One was to create a video purporting to show the Iraqi dictator having sex with a teenage boy, according to two former CIA officials familiar with the project.” Why not just make that anyway? [Spy Talk/WP] Read more on …
  mister timmons

John McCain Pal’d Around With Saddam Hussein Or Something

John McCain has selected someone to head his — get this — “White House transition team,” and of course the person is an old corrupt Washington lobbyist, so basically JOHN MCCAIN IS PAYING THE LOBBYISTS MONEY FOR SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST. But! More Scandal! This terrible lobbyist is one William Timmons, a famous goat warlock from Narnia. (Or was that Tumnus? Whatever, they are all hobbits from fantasy closets.) He was also best friends with Saddam Hussein forever, until John McCain killed Saddam Hussein on a cellphone video several years ago. Read more on John McCain Pal’d Around With Saddam Hussein Or Something…
 

Pentagon Makes Controversial Report More Controversial By Trying To Keep It Quiet

Now another branch of our wonderful government has released a report that concludes, upon thorough review of over 600,000 documents, what many people have sort of figured out anyway: in the months before 9/11, Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was not gently humping al Qaeda mastermind Abu Musab al-Zarqawi on the banks of the Tigris. In fact, there was no connection of any sort between Iraq and al Qaeda, even though the President and his ghoulish cadre of advisors insisted there was. In a clever attempt to keep this shocking information from the American people, the government decided not to write a press release about it. Read more on Pentagon Makes Controversial Report More Controversial By Trying To Keep It Quiet…
 

Saddam the Beloved

Though he is “of a tender age,” Benazir Bhutto’s teenage son is now the head of her party. Democracy lives! Yay! [BBC, New York Times, Washington Post] On the anniversary of the day his head popped off, Iraqis remember their bro Saddam Hussein. [Los Angeles Times] Read more on Saddam the Beloved…
 

Bush Determined to Strike in Iraq

In the weeks before the Iraq war, Bush’s public face was impatient, eager to begin the invasion, and unwilling to acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints. In private, his attitude, as the transcript of a conversation between him and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar released by El Pais today reveals… was, uh, exactly the same. Pretty much. Read more on Bush Determined to Strike in Iraq…
 

Country That Doesn’t Even Have President Mocking Ours

Now that their “dollar” is no longer worth less than a real dollar (but they still have to pay more for our hardcover books, suckers!), the Canadians are getting uppity. The October cover of their cute “political magazine” Maclean’s portrays our President as a distinguished gay British army general Saddam Hussein. Shocking! And kinda funny! Look, they gave him a mustache! Spy probably did this already but do Canadians know what Spy is? It seems like they might not have enough bloggers. Also our northern neighbors are praying for poor Britney Spears. How George Bush Became the New Saddam [Maclean’s] Read more on Country That Doesn’t Even Have President Mocking Ours…
 

Old Jazzbo Hippie Claims Cheney Just Invaded Iraq For The Oil

Some little hipster clarinet player from NYU is claiming the Iraq invasion and occupation was all about securing oil supplies for America. Oh and what is that sticking out of Jazzbo Al’s tattered raincoat? A worn paperback of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” which he actually first read when she was writing it, when he was screwing some gal in Rand’s “inner circle” and writing angry letters to the New York Times about how “parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should.” That’s right, we’re talking about former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan! Read more on Old Jazzbo Hippie Claims Cheney Just Invaded Iraq For The Oil…
 

Area Protester Fooled by Satire

Faithful reader Sean spotted this intrepid protester outside the McPherson Square metro this morning. The lady is quite upset about the administration’s plans to re-hang Saddam “Suddan” Hussein — plans she presumably read about in The Onion. U.S. To Re-Hang Saddam Hussein [The Onion] Read more on Area Protester Fooled by Satire…
 

Dick Cheney Used To Be Kind of Honest

Hey everybody, here’s the video you’re all talking about — shocking proof that not so long ago, Dick Cheney obviously knew better than to invade Crazy Land and try to control it post-Saddam. We’re not sure why this video is suddenly going around today, because these points made by Cheney also appeared in the New York Times about 11 years ago and have been transcribed and quoted pretty regularly since 2003, but maybe it’s just easier to get things across with the talking pictures. The only real question is What changed Cheney’s mind? We’ve read a hundred theories about the “real plan” for Iraq, etc., and none have come close to offering a clear explanation of the blood-soaked clusterfuck that is America’s Occupation of Iraq by people who knew from the start that they couldn’t successfully occupy Iraq. Read more on Dick Cheney Used To Be Kind of Honest…
 

No Confidence Monday!

* Congress plans Gonzo no confidence vote for Monday and Bush called it “political theater,” which, you know, means a lot coming from President Check-Out-My-Package-In-This-Flightsuit. [CNN] * Cyclone that’s going to fuck up the Middle East supposedly has nothing to do with Bush. [Passport] * But Iraq is so complex, we shouldn’t be worried that it’s all fucked up. [Redstate] * Whoa, we had no idea that any of this other shit happened either. [The Swamp] * Some good natured ribbing for a misunderstood president. Don’t worry George, history will vindicate you, you imbecile. [IMAO] * The first Saddam execution video was so popular, a sequel was only a matter of time. [Iraq Slogger] Read more on No Confidence Monday!…
 

Happy Anniversary, Liberated Baghdad!

It was four short years ago that American troops freed the beautiful city of Baghdad from years of tyranny. On this day in 2003, a Bluto-esque motorcycle enthusiast impulsively grabbed a sledgehammer and single-handedly took down a nearby statue of Saddam Hussein, with help from a convenient American tank and winch, and with photographers and TV crews coincidentally set up to record the moment. Read more on Happy Anniversary, Liberated Baghdad!…
 

LA Times Offered $$$ Guest-Editor Spots To Rumsfeld, Nixon & Saddam

The “scandal” at the Los Angeles Times op-ed department about celebrity guest editors or whatever was only of interest to the 97,839 current and former reporters from the little-known California newspaper — until shamed Pentagon criminal Donald Rumsfeld was brought into the mix this weekend. Learn about the most boring whiny-assed people in the world (journalists) and their banal problems, after the jump. Read more on LA Times Offered $$$ Guest-Editor Spots To Rumsfeld, Nixon & Saddam…