Wonkette

The U.S. military must be in worse shape than we thought. Once content to harvest recruits from the ranks of the criminal, drug-addicted, and borderline retarded, they then moved on to calling up sad Southern muppets and asking them to serve. Now that our President has called an indefinite halt to post-July troop withdrawals from Iraq, America’s children might want to take a second look at this creepy Sesame Street video in order to find out why Elmo’s dad still can’t come home. MORE »

For all of you who wept the day that handsome Tony Parker married that little soap opera tart, it’s time to weep again: for America. Eva Longoria Parker supports Hillary Clinton, and when she explains why you might find yourself wishing she sounded as brilliant as another noteworthy Clinton booster, Paula Abdul. Frightening YouTube footage after the jump. MORE »