Your latest report from the brave yet doomed COMICS CURMUDGEON: “Attempted to get to mall at 7th, were told it was full and we should go to 14th. Now we are trudging through this Le Corbusier-style hellscape. We will end up watching the speech from Arlington, in an Olive Garden, obviously. Sent from my iPhone.” Even elitists need bottomless grease-bread sticks! [Earlier Josh Reports]

If you, working from our December advice, crashed the 2006 RNC Holiday Party, we apologize. Because the pictures of it are online, and it looks ghastly. This could’ve been the RNC event that happened the same night as the CNN party — one of the highlights of that night was watching suits with RNC badges get out of cabs only to be refused entrance to Teatro Goldoni. MORE »