What new, innovative methods are there to be a Republican candidate — a REAL MERKN R’pubkin — nowadays? The base expects you to be just like them. This dude has an idea: “[Dave] Westlake is the Republican challenger to Democratic incumbent Russ Feingold of Wisconsin. Westlake says he’ll be wearing his bright orange hunting gear to every campaign appearance leading up to the 2010 election.” Then he’ll wear it in the Senate, just as a “fuck you” to, uh, spending. [AP]

Joe Lieberman, the actual human equivalent of a chain letter forwarded to you by your grandparents, has a very important tuff-guy job as chair of the Homeland Security Committee. And he’ll tell ya, he does not like Obama’s coterie of czars, not one bit. He’ll probably hold some trenchant as shit hearings about the hated czars, or maybe draft some heroic legislation that forbids the President from appointing policy experts. Russ Feingold is down for whatever, so he’s in too! And don’t think he won’t look up “czar” in the dictionary, because he WILL and he HAS. MORE »

“I just ran into Russ Feingold in the bathroom. I can report that he does not have a wide stance, but he did appear to be munching on some reese’s pieces.” [The Capitolist]

It’s Friday and it’s late August and that means dumb YouTube videos, like this one of Russ Feingold imitating fellow Jewish midwesterner Bob Dylan and his famous “Subterranean Homesick Blues” video. The alley looks good, but it’s missing Alan Ginsburg standing in a trash can. RIP Paul Wellstone, in other words. Also it’s just not as awesome as this, but few things are.

This week, Carl Levin, Elizabeth Kucinich, Ted Koppel, Russ Feingold, George Tenet, Sam Brownback, and Dennis Kucinich were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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As you may have heard, The Onion now has a DC edition. And because one party celebrating this wasn’t nearly enough, they threw another one last Wednesday. This one was a slightly classier occasion, with a more exclusive guest list and much classier venue: the Folger Shakespeare Library. MORE »

Sorry about the delay in reporting the various candidacies and non-candidacies for 2008. Well, actually, not sorry. The nerve of these goddamned people …. This is worse than the Christmas crap going on display the morning after Halloween. Can’t they let America have a few weeks of peace before the campaign for president?

No, of course not. That would show some form of Human Dignity. Anyway, here’s what’s going on with the people who hate you … after the jump.

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• Heard on the Hill: Russ Feingold, who hates 527s, loves their dirty, dirty money. Whatever, we like Russ ’cause he sounds like a oft-cranky regular in some midwest bar… Mark Foley started a joint fundraising committee with other Republicans called (wait for it) PROM. Seriously… Fun story about riding a motorcycle with Mark Foley in a parade in 1996. [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: Y&N: “J/K! TOMKAT aren’t coming anywhere near DC, losers… Marky Mark is shooting a film here in DC. Danny Glover, despite being too old for this shit, will join him shortly. [Examiner]
• Reliable Source: Post film critic throws objectivity right out the window, films scene in aforementioned Marky Mark flick… George H.W. Bush has a daughter named Doro Bush Koch??? She wrote a book or something. 41 skipped the party to hang with Germans… Li’l Kim, John Kerry. That’s all you need to know, really. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Susan Estrich does the creepy Ann Coulter hot-if-you’re-a-closet-case pose for her new book… John Boehner writes very first letter, begins it “Dear Letter to the Editor.” Addresses it to “North Pole,” forgets stamp… Sad-sounding Paul Wellstone play is, unfortunately, a musical. [The Hill]
• Rush and Molloy: Mark Foley’s boyfriend, Florida dermatologist Layne Nisenbaum, isn’t talking to anyone. Kirk Fordham is gay, never slept with Foley. [NYDN]

Today’s Hotline, quoting a Club for Growth mailer: MORE »

• Reading about al Qaeda for pleasure. [Hullabaloo]

• Bloggers have body image issues. [La Shawn Barber]
• Wizbang is Explosively Unique: “…this country needs both parties, like it or not.” [Wizbang]
• “Russ Feingold, not Hillary Clinton, is the favorite to win the Democrats’ 2008 Presidential nomination. He’s ‘Howard Dean without the delicate psyche,’” [Powerline]
• Uncomfortable fallout from Condoleezza Rice’s WP column, commenter: “Lipstick on a pig doesn’t change the fundamental essence of the pig. I don’t care what color it is, or how thickly it’s applied.” [Captain's Quarters]
• Louisiana is least business-friendly state. [Hit & Run]

Poor Chuck Schumer. Poor “every Democratic senator who must endure being in Hillary’s shadow.” MORE »