rush limbaugh
Frank Luntz Caught Telling Truth, Has Totally Mature Reaction
Frank Luntz, a man so morally upright he once took money in exchange for helping Pat Buchanan attempt to get elected president, has made his bones by studying the ways language can be used to generate emotional responses with voters, and then providing politicians with specific words and communication strategies “that will help his clients [...]
Missouri, We Need To Talk About Jim Hoft
It is an Easter Miracle more improbable than the original: Poop lollipop Jim Hoft has the most-read news website in the vacuum of skepticism known as Missouri. Suffice it to say your Wonkette thought Hoft was once again talking out of his ass when he bragged that his fetid outhouse on the net captured more [...]
Diaper Fetishist And Rancid Chickenhawk Boil Unite To Defeat Some Mexican
Ok before we even start: we are not anti-diaper-fetishists, because we are catholic, not Catholic, in our views about how you get your sexytime on. We are, however, anti-diaper-fetishists who are also morality police for other people’s sexytime, so don’t hatetweet us, bro. We give no such caveat re: chickenhawks. Fuck those guys. Yes, it’s [...]
Rush Limbaugh Would Like Some Attention Please, Also To Shoot Women/Fetuses With Guns
Taking umbrage at the words that fall from Rush Limbaugh’s blubbery lips like so many wriggling maggots is a fool’s game. He lives for us to take umbrage. (This is also why we hardly ever let you know about, say, Ann Coulter’s latest bons mots about how black people all are murdery. That, and we [...]
No, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Triumph Over Socialism: Your Tofurkey Warblog
It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You [...]
At Last, Rush Limbaugh Knows Who To Blame For His Tiny Penis
Science, you guys, science is revealing all sorts of terrible mysteries about the modern world. And not just the liberal kind of mysteries, like about how all the animals are dying and the ice is melting and whatever; no, it’s also revealing tough, conservative facts, like the fact that human penises are on average 10 [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Contrarian Republican Commentary on Hurricane Isaac
What is Hurricane Isaac to certain more outspoken member of the Republican party? A disaster, perhaps, that could destroy the northern Gulf Coast yet again? Maybe it’s an Obama Commerce Department conspiracy. Or a welcome opening of the skies that keeps Joe Biden away. Or maybe it’s nothing, and no one should give a shit, [...]
Ol’ Rush Limbaugh Pretty Sure Obama Behind Tampa’s Republican Convention Hurricane
Yargle bargle floop, word word word. LIMBAUGH: So we got a hurricane coming. The National Hurricane Center, which is a government agency, is very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa. The National Hurricane Center is Obama. It’s the National Weather Service, part of the commerce department. It’s Obama.
Rush Limbaugh Newsletter Hops Aboard Nerd Art Plagiarism Bandwagon
Hey, so what’s the deal with right-wingers, huh? They’re always going on about how sacred PRIVATE PROPERTY is, how it’s all IMMORAL for anyone to benefit from SOMEBODY ELSE’S “hard work,” am I right? And then you hear about something like THIS genius who goes and RIPS OFF an image from a VIDEO GAME so [...]
This Real Recipe From Rush Limbaugh Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It
OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Help last night, and according to Minnie, not only will Crisco soften your elbows but it is the Platonic Ideal for frying [...]
Everything’s Better With Crisco: Real Recipes From Rush Limbaugh
SF Weekly’s Crap Archivist may have found his greatest treasure yet: a 1980 Kansas City Royals cookbook, before Ol’ Porkbutt had conquered the world and was still a lowly Royals front office “director of group sales.” We will let the Crap Archivist talk you through it:
Rush Limbaugh: ‘All Hillary Is Is A Secretary’
Sorry, bloated wormy trichinosis-filled pig anus Rush Limbaugh, but we prefer the term “administrative assistant” when you guffaw and chortle and all those other phlegm-rattling verbs that Hillary Clinton, the most powerful woman in the world besides the chick who wrote The Hunger Games and maybe Beyonce, is just a “secretary.” Hillz, doll, wouldja be [...]
What Is Chelsea Clinton Hiding About Monica Lewinsky?
Everyone knows that Chelsea Clinton is the world’s most boring human being — though she did grow up to be quite a fetching member of the female species, suck it Rush Limbaugh. She is even more boring than Luke Russert, and possibly has less-notable insights! But were you aware that the reason she is such [...]
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