Tag: rupert murdoch

Jerry Hall DTF Rupert Murdoch

Some months ago, we sniffed haughtily at a story alleging Jerry Hall -- the beautiful Texan mother of some of Mick Jagger's children -- was doing the bone with wizened evil dwarf man Rupert Murdoch. It wasn't that we...
Easy on the eyes, just saying.

Sexxxy Green Bay Packers Quarterback Tells Refugee Haters To Eat Astroturf

The past few days have been sad and disheartening. We began the weekend mourning with our friends in Paris in the aftermath of terrorist attacks meant to, well, terrorize. And then many of our own American citizens, including Republican...

Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They’d Be More Like Bush

Here is your foreign secret Muslim "president" Barry HUSSEIN Soetoro O'Bama, saying some sounds about how "refugees" are not the same thing as "terrorists." As if! That's exactly what he would say, isn't it? If he didn't really love America and want to keep...

Some Newspaper: Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Totally Doing It. Sorry About Your Breakfast

The Telegraph news-paper of Jollye Olde Englande has some items of interest to pique your gag reflex: According to "reports" and "some people" and "other citations that oddly do not exist," sexy ladies man Rupert Murdoch is totally sticking...
I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Fox News Has Thoughts On Kim Davis. They Are Strangely Interesting Thoughts!

So, the other day, we showed you a video of a nice panel discussion on the Fox News, about how Kentucky clerk Kim Davis's lawyer Mat Staver is "ridiculously stupid," and we remarked that when a wingnut has lost...
Don't get your old dick caught in the door on the way out.

Let’s Remember 11 Times Rupert Murdoch Was A Giant Cretinous Sh*thead

The day you all feared would come is nigh, Wonkers: Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as CEO of 21st Century Fox and giving the company to his son James, though he will reportedly still be executive chairman of the...
Doy doy doy doy doy

Fox News: BREAKING! Black Man Shot By Police! Oh Wait, Never Mind

Journalism-ing is tough! You try to get it right, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you fuck up. Like you misspell the name of Iran's Ayatollah Khamenei (we did that the other day, doy!), or you report...
It's good to be the king

King Obama To Give Citizens Choice Between Voting Or FEMA Camps, Thanks Obama!

From the wintry environs of Northeast Ohio on Wednesday, an Arctic wind did blast out across the land, chilling the hearts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere. For lo, the Dread Tyrant Obama did proclaim that all the citizenry be compelled...
He's got his eye on you now, NYP

Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!

Fact: Donald Trump gave the very bestest speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit over the weekend. How do we know that's true? Because Donald Trump says so, duh, even though the New York Post is spreading vicious lies, which...
But where are the parents?!?

Parents Let Kids Walk Around Neighborhood Unsupervised, Are Terrible Parents Obviously

There are terrible parents who do terrible things to their children, and they probably shouldn't be parents and should not have children. Like parents who beat the ever-lovin' crap out of their kids (yes, even if they are sportsball...
Sit and spin, OK?

Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is one mean grinch. Because the Senate, as well as the House of Representatives, has been so busy not working all year, Reid's threatening to murder Christmas vacation, which for most Americans is maybe...

British-Flavored Idiots Think They’ll Get Muslim On Them If They Eat Terrifying ‘Halal’ Meat

Sometimes we forget, because Brits are so proper, that their papers are about a million times more scuzzy than American papers at times, particularly those that are owned by aging monster Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch's Sun had a BIG HUGE...

‘All In With Chris Hayes’ Tries To Interpret The Gnomist Twitter Feed Of Rupert Murdoch

We haven't been much on the "All In With Chris Hayes" tip for our clipbait, but yesterday Hayes unpacked the delightfully terrifying and terrifyingly delightful Twitter feed of one Rupert Murdoch. Truly, we do not think anyone else is...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Thomas Friedman Almost Writes A Tolerable Column Edition

You know without having us here to explain the New York Times at you that today's edition is pretty much wall-to-wall where is the missing plane and the seething slow menace that is Russia's machinations in Ukraine, complete with...

Oh Yeah, Rupert Murdoch’s Wife Wendi Deng Was Absolutely Getting Porked By Tony Blair Gross

We've been consumed -- CONSUMED -- with the notion that Wendi Deng, the decades-younger ladywife of Freedom Hero Rupert Murdoch, was totally getting porked by British lapdog to the stars Tony Blair. But did we have the means to...

The New York Times Wants To Get Rupert Murdoch’s Wizened Member Wet

New York Times reporter Brooks Barnes heard some ladies in their 50s -- who, he would like you to know, have had plastic surgery -- being terrible. We mean, obviously they are terrible. They are women. In their 50s....