Tag Archives: rupert murdoch

  today in tabloids

Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post Furious U.S. President Sometimes Visits U.S. Cities

Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post has done some heavy digging, you guys, and it has discovered that the President of the United States of America sometimes go to the biggest city in the nation! Like, he was there just last week, “talking” at “the United Nations” as if that is somehow an important thing that the “president” is supposed to do. Did you know that it costs money for the city to host him? And New Yorkers are stuck picking up the bill (the Post says $2 million so far) when the Prez wants to fly his big fancy plane into JFK? What a dick! Read more on Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post Furious U.S. President Sometimes Visits U.S. Cities…
  wankers

Tom Friedman Bravely Calls For ‘Conservative’ Party To Basically Do Everything Obama’s Done

Show of hands: who is sick of Tom Friedman using his column to call for a moderate third party whose purpose is primarily oriented around catering to wealthy people who are exactly like Tom Friedman or alternatively, doing exactly what Obama already does? Well good, because you’re in luck, since his most recent column is calling for a conservative party wherein Jeb Bush is in charge of education policy and deficit reduction is headed up by Tom Coburn. Also, let’s see what Rupert Murdoch has to say about immigration! We have one great issue facing America, he says, and it is made up of three subparts, and we also have four challenges that are really important, and if only we had real conservatives in charge of the GOP platform, then maybe the next four years can really amount to something! (Yes, this is a pretty accurate summary of his entire column.) Read more on Tom Friedman Bravely Calls For ‘Conservative’ Party To Basically Do Everything Obama’s Done…
  unfit at any speed

Fox News Worries About Extinction (Its Own)

As Rupert Murdoch’s News International (UK subsidiary of American company News Corp) saga continues in Blimeyland, Americans may not give two faggots about it. But there’s an eentsy beentsy spider of a chance that if Murdoch’s media ship sinks, Fox News might eventually be the last ones on deck singing Nearer My God To Thee. So, listen up while we drop some knowledge. Read more on Fox News Worries About Extinction (Its Own)…
  invasion day

Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster

In a bold strike of the kind we hope to see in a lot of nations this year, a protesting group of indigenous people mobbed Australian prime minster Julia Gillard and opposition leader Tony Abbott from a fancy 1% restaurant in the capital of Canberra — Gillard and Abbott were about to be torn apart, but their security teams managed to drag the politicians to safety. Why all the excitement? Because right-winger Tony Abbott suggested tearing down the aboriginal “tent embassy” erected 40 years ago in protest of two centuries of brutal oppression by the colonizing Europeans. Things are very weird in Australia! It’s sort of like if America went straight from the Old West/Plantation Era directly to the Earth Day hippie Beatles world circa 1970, with nothing in the middle. Read more on Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster…
  oh right like twitter needed another reason to be awful

Rupert Murdoch Discovers Fun New Venue For Unrepentant Evil: Twitter

What does a bored kleptocrat billionaire who has already lived past his expiration date do to pass the time while he is on vacation in the Caribbean? If it’s Rupert Murdoch, he takes a webcam picture of his moldy white raisin mug, tacks it to his brand-new Twitter account and sets about mocking the working slobs of Great Britain for trying to act like rich folk and have their own vacations, TEE-HEE. Read more on Rupert Murdoch Discovers Fun New Venue For Unrepentant Evil: Twitter…
  journamalism

NY Post Blames Peaceful Ocupados For (Fake?) Rise In Gun Violence

The wheezy little shadow humans hovering around in the dank caves over at Rupert Murdoch’s terror pamphlet the New York Post sure are devoting an awful lot of comical reporting to the fabrication of elaborate Jesusween bedtime stories about the Occupy Wall Street protesters. It’s like they’re kind of (very) worried or something! The latest strenuous fiction plucked at random — there are several to choose from on any given day — has a variety of anonymous numbers and sources claiming that shootings across the city have risen two billion percent since the protests started on account of the NYPD having too much fun beating up on peaceful protesters to go beating up on actual criminals with guns anymore. That would be sort of embarrassing for the cops, if it were actually true! Read more on NY Post Blames Peaceful Ocupados For (Fake?) Rise In Gun Violence…
  elmo hates kleptocrats

Muppet-Wielding Protesters Occupy Rupert Murdoch’s Speech

This is going to be what’s it’s like for the Rupert Murdochs of the world, from now on. We hope, anyway! Just full-on harassment and outbursts until these kleptocrats are scared to leave their penthouses, which will then be burnt down, by dragons. Read more on Muppet-Wielding Protesters Occupy Rupert Murdoch’s Speech…
  occupy the wall street journal

Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half

Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch’s empire of shit continues to stink, with his “rogue corporation” caught in yet another amoral activity — this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper’s European circulation by 41%. So the big corporations paying top dollar to reach the coveted 1% who supposedly read the WSJ while shopping in Paris or whatever were instead paying to have 31,000 daily copies bought for a nickel apiece and dumped. Worse, the paper printed a bunch of bogus endorsements and features on the shell companies involved in the criminal scheme. Read more on Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half…
  needz moar confusion

NYPost: Confused Jewish GOP Donors Think Michele Bachmann Is A Jew

Corrupt goon Rupert Murdoch’s Florida retirement community gossip rag The New York Post has some hottt new rumor skull-hacked from the brains of a mysterious gaggle of senile Jewish GOP donors claiming that these sorely confused purse holders are mistakenly sending fat checks to Michele Bachmann’s campaign under the impression that she is “the Jewish candidate.” Wait till Michele’s Jesus hears about this!? We are guessing these donors spotted Michele’s mangled attempt at the word “chutzpah” on the retirement home’s 24-hour Fox News Channel beam, otherwise there is no possible explanation besides “this is made up.” Sure, the article cites one anonymous crabby Mitt Romney fundraiser as the source of the rumor, but who can trust Mitt Romney’s people? Oh, uh, apparently because this fundraiser believes the Jewish GOP dollars rightfully belong to mystery-religion Mittens. Read more on NYPost: Confused Jewish GOP Donors Think Michele Bachmann Is A Jew…
  the important issues of our time

UPDATE: Now With Slow-Motion Video of Murdoch Pie Throwing Dude

Here, let us all have an Important Debate over whether this flannel-clad “Jonnie Marbles” character who attempted to pie Rupert Murdoch during Parliament’s hacking inquiry is the last True Hero in the dying human civilization project known briefly as “democracy,” or a flannel-clad comedian who is merely distracting everyone from the real issues with his relatively unoriginal but historically-respected gesture to humiliate the much-loathed media mogul. Oh, and there’s always the “ITS A GIANT INSIDE JOB CONSPIRACY BY MURDOCK TO GET SYPMATHY” angle too, don’t forget. Humor website The New York Times has slowed down the video, to aid in the debate. Read more on UPDATE: Now With Slow-Motion Video of Murdoch Pie Throwing Dude…
  anals of justice

Rupert Murdoch Makes Weird Anal Sex Joke About David Cameron

Unrepentant demon overlord Rupert Murdoch and son are busy promising the British Parliament today that they had no knowledge about any of the hacking going on at News of the World previous to the scandal breaking, a ludicrous suggestion that ranks up there with “9/11 was done by the Jews” for accuracy. But Murdoch did at least admit that he regularly butt penetrates Prime Minister David Cameron. UPDATE: An activist (this guy?) tried to throw a pie at Murdoch during the hearing, which will now be “Britain’s Iraqi shoe-thrower moment” but with pies, because that is the highest form of insult in that country. Read more on Rupert Murdoch Makes Weird Anal Sex Joke About David Cameron…
  karl rove is doing a slow-clap

Fox News Droid Compares News Corp To Companies That Were Hacked

Mouth-breathing “Fox and Friends” commentator-of-the-day Bob Dilenschneider was roving around inside the decaying asbestos filling his skull cavity when he found this bizarre string of words to complain about all the media attention on the News Corp hacking scandal: “Citigroup, great bank. Bank of America, great bank. Are they getting the same kind of attention for hacking that took place less than a year ago that News Corp is getting today?” Yes, why ARE victims and criminals subjected to a different level of media scrutiny sometimes? That is very unfair! Read more on Fox News Droid Compares News Corp To Companies That Were Hacked…
  corporate welfare

Murdoch’s Sleazy News Corp. Got $4.8 Billion Tax Refund From Washington

We know it’s super important that all giant corporations get HUGE tax breaks and actually never pay any actual taxes in America, so they can all “be more competitive” by laying off all American workers and feeding us a steady diet of EVIL, but you would think somebody in Ronald Reagan Junior’s Barack Obama’s administration would’ve noticed the potential bad Public Relations involved in giving Rupert Murdoch’s Fox & Fiends global propaganda conglomerate a $4.8 billion tax refund after News Corp. managed to not pay any taxes at all, right? UPDATE: And Reuters mysteriously pulls down the entire column — the entire column! — because that’s what always happens when the subject of a business column claims the column is incorrect. Read more on Murdoch’s Sleazy News Corp. Got $4.8 Billion Tax Refund From Washington…
  it's morning in america

Rupert Murdoch Has Fond Memories of Being Illegal Brown Person

Rupert Murdoch testified to Congress about immigration. Are television comedians the only people now who are allowed to testify about Mexicans? Let’s hope so! Anyway, Rupert Murdoch is “pro-immigration,” even though his teevee network is constantly reminding Real America that the brown people are stealing all the white women, and forcing them to eat tacos — tacos that might have “vegetables” in them. (Vegetables!) Rupert is of course an expert on immigration because he was a drug mule once himself, way back when, during the Weimar Republic or something like that. Rupert Murdoch is old. [NECN] Read more on Rupert Murdoch Has Fond Memories of Being Illegal Brown Person… Read more on Rupert Murdoch Has Fond Memories of Being Illegal Brown Person…
  a place for friends

A Children’s Treasury of Christine O’Donnell’s Hairstyles

Oh look what we found while wandering around inside Christine O’Donnell’s forgotten 2008 MySpace account from one of her old Senate campaigns! It’s America’s two favorite people, Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch and re-virgined hobo Christine O’Donnell. Plus, so many pictures of so many political hairstyles! It’s like 1983 to 2003 all in one year (2008)! Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Christine O’Donnell’s Hairstyles…