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Tag: rupert murdoch

It's good to be the king

King Obama To Give Citizens Choice Between Voting Or FEMA Camps, Thanks Obama!

From the wintry environs of Northeast Ohio on Wednesday, an Arctic wind did blast out across the land, chilling the hearts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere. For lo, the Dread Tyrant Obama did proclaim that all the citizenry be compelled...
He's got his eye on you now, NYP

Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!

Fact: Donald Trump gave the very bestest speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit over the weekend. How do we know that's true? Because Donald Trump says so, duh, even though the New York Post is spreading vicious lies, which...
But where are the parents?!?

Parents Let Kids Walk Around Neighborhood Unsupervised, Are Terrible Parents Obviously

There are terrible parents who do terrible things to their children, and they probably shouldn't be parents and should not have children. Like parents who beat the ever-lovin' crap out of their kids (yes, even if they are sportsball...
Sit and spin, OK?

Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is one mean grinch. Because the Senate, as well as the House of Representatives, has been so busy not working all year, Reid's threatening to murder Christmas vacation, which for most Americans is maybe...

British-Flavored Idiots Think They’ll Get Muslim On Them If They Eat Terrifying ‘Halal’ Meat

Sometimes we forget, because Brits are so proper, that their papers are about a million times more scuzzy than American papers at times, particularly those that are owned by aging monster Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch's Sun had a BIG HUGE...

‘All In With Chris Hayes’ Tries To Interpret The Gnomist Twitter Feed Of Rupert Murdoch

We haven't been much on the "All In With Chris Hayes" tip for our clipbait, but yesterday Hayes unpacked the delightfully terrifying and terrifyingly delightful Twitter feed of one Rupert Murdoch. Truly, we do not think anyone else is...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Thomas Friedman Almost Writes A Tolerable Column Edition

You know without having us here to explain the New York Times at you that today's edition is pretty much wall-to-wall where is the missing plane and the seething slow menace that is Russia's machinations in Ukraine, complete with...

Oh Yeah, Rupert Murdoch’s Wife Wendi Deng Was Absolutely Getting Porked By Tony Blair Gross

We've been consumed -- CONSUMED -- with the notion that Wendi Deng, the decades-younger ladywife of Freedom Hero Rupert Murdoch, was totally getting porked by British lapdog to the stars Tony Blair. But did we have the means to...

The New York Times Wants To Get Rupert Murdoch’s Wizened Member Wet

New York Times reporter Brooks Barnes heard some ladies in their 50s -- who, he would like you to know, have had plastic surgery -- being terrible. We mean, obviously they are terrible. They are women. In their 50s....

On Her Majesty’s Secret Snack Bowl: Police Were Ordered To Leave Elizabeth’s Nuts Untouched

Here's a weird little tidbit that's emerged from the phone hacking trial for executives from Rupert Murdoch's News of the World tabloid: For reasons not made the least bit clear in this BBC story, on Thursday, the jury was...
Wendi Deng before her morning makeup

Tony Blair Denies Putting His Danglybits In Wendi Deng Murdoch’s Vengeful Chasm

Sad news, friends, and that sad news is that a wonderful friendship, a bromance for the ages, is no more just because Rupert Murdoch thinks former prime minister and US buttboy Tony Blair was puttin' it to his wife,...

Hey Ladies! Scary Old Rupert Murdoch Is About To Be Single Again

The terms of News Corp's CEO, chairman, and destroyer of all things good in media Rupert Murdoch's divorce from his pie-jacking, badass, third wife Wendi Deng Murdoch are set to be finalized in front of a New York judge...

Poors Pooling Their Hobo Beans To Buy Chicago Tribune And Los Angeles Times, Good Luck Poors!

Are you looking for the latest can’t-miss investing opportunity? Well sir, you can forget your whale oil and your arsenic hats and your unicycles, because King Newspaper is the hottest ticket in town! Not convinced? Then tell us, why...

Fox News Just Gets It

What have the Communists at Think Progress found for the Internet this time? Well, a lot of Republicans, like Haley Barbour and Bobby Jindal and, um, Rupert Murdoch, the owner of Fox News, have been saying Republicans need to...

Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post Furious U.S. President Sometimes Visits U.S. Cities

Rupert Murdoch's New York Post has done some heavy digging, you guys, and it has discovered that the President of the United States of America sometimes go to the biggest city in the nation! Like, he was there just...

Tom Friedman Bravely Calls For ‘Conservative’ Party To Basically Do Everything Obama’s Done

Show of hands: who is sick of Tom Friedman using his column to call for a moderate third party whose purpose is primarily oriented around catering to wealthy people who are exactly like Tom Friedman or alternatively, doing exactly...