• Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo]

• In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe]
• Ohio’s centuries of bad luck continues, as billboard with gross-out aborted fetus image gets flown over Cleveland. [Evangelical Right]
• Prince “I’m Never Gonna Be King” Harry enjoys fine automobiles, Red Bull, and horseshit. [Borrowing Trouble]
• Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney kicks off nascent presidential campaign by heading to Iowa and blurting racist comment from his honky mouth. [AP]
• Laura Sessions Stepp immortalized by Great Moments In Journalism, still desperately needs to get laid. [Gawker]

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• Heard on the Hill: A freelance photographer has been sneaking into the Senate Photo Studio. . . Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.) catches a 360-pound shark. . . Chuck Norris meets his biggest fan, the Senate elevator operator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Glenn Close visits the Hill to save wild animals. . . Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) is reaching out to the Polish-American vote. [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: National Enquirer uncovers photos of Rep. Patrick Kennedy dressed up as Michael Jackson. . . Rupert Murdoch on raising funds for Hillary: “It’s not a million-dollar raising. It’s got nothing to do with anything other than her Senate re-election.” [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will add the major cities in congressional districts to their lower-third graphics. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laurie Dhue wins a free trip to Jordan at a party for Queen Rania. . . Ralph Nader gets a form letter response from Bill Clinton. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: What about a Gore-Clinton ticket? [NYP]

wonkette: CBS: Clinton, who says she’s “always been a praying person,” has moved into the territory John Edwards had hoped to claim as the moderate Democrat who cares about average American.
wonkette: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
operative: jesus
wonkette: ONE MODERATE DEMOCRAT, ONE AVERAGE AMERICAN
operative: we must find this average american
operative: do you think it’s a 40-year old white male?
wonkette: i bet he lives in phoenix
operative: phoenix or atlanta
wonkette: Biden is the moderate democrat who is smarter than the average american
wonkette: he can frequently be seen stealing the average american’s pic-a-nic basket
wonkette: “Clinton has worked hard to take the edge off her reputation as a card-carrying liberal.”
operative: THANK GOD
wonkette: card-carrying is not even specific to actual organizations anymore! it’s all-purpose!
operative: Where do I get one of those cards?
operative: AND CAN THE GOVERNMENT PAY FOR IT?
wonkette: you have to send in boxtops from organic cereal
operative: would several hundred bottle caps from fancy-schmancy beer work?
wonkette: as long as it’s not domestic
wonkette: “always been a praying person.”
wonkette: wtf hillary
wonkette: not even “I have always been a christian.”
operative: well, she doesn’t want to piss off too many Jews.
operative: what with their wads of cash.
wonkette: a “praying person,” which sounds distressingly like she’s going to EAT YOU AFTER SHE MATES WITH YOU
operative: oh, god. can’t she just eat me first?
wonkette: SOMEONE WARN RUPERT MURDOCH MORE »

• Reliable Source: Attorney for Robert Steinbuch threatens to add Ana Marie Cox as a co-defendant in his suit against Jessica Cutler. . . Murdoch will host a summer fundraiser for Hillary. . . Mort Kondracke marries Marguerite Sallee, the CEO of America’s Promise. . . Bush twins are spotted buying vintage clothes. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Michael Scanlon will be awarded his diploma from John Hopkins. . . Josh Bolten went to a Nationals game with Bo Derek. . . Woman spotted with Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) is confirmed to be his girlfriend. . . [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Fundraiser for Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) hosted by Mort Zuckerman features Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and former Sen. Al D’Amato (R-N.Y.). . . Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, Petra Nemcova, and Rep. Tom McMillen (D-Md.) showed up for the opening of The Collection at Chevy Chase. . . “Campaign chair” for Rep. Jerry Weller (R-Ill.) caught using a government-issued American Express card at a strip club. [The Hill]

* Reliable Source: Cheney, at Fox News party, says Tony Snow will “do a superb job”. . . George Clooney, Joey Cheek in town for Sunday’s “Save Darfur” rally. [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Rupert Murdoch to Snow: “Congratulations on your promotion - or maybe it’s a demotion.” [NYDN]
* Page Six: Snow isn’t “the greatest sax player”. . . Gen. Richard Myers dining at Da Tommaso in New York. . . Valerie Plame gets star treatment at a Vanity Fair party at the Tribeca Film Festival. [NYP]
* Inside the Beltway: Washington Life magazine hosts celebrity luncheon today, ahead of Correspondents’ Dinner. [WT]

Last night Fox celebrated the birth, ten years ago, of “Fox News Sunday,” with a star-choked alcohol-soaked party at Cafe Milano. And Wonkette Emerita Ana Marie Cox was there. Her exclusive party report, replete with celebrity encounters, the booze-aided dispensation of social niceties, and a subtly threatening Karl Rove (who “knows” us, if you know what he means), all provided free of charge, after the jump.

(Picture by Patrick Gavin/FishbowlDC)

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* Today’s march for immigrant rights passed pretty close to Julia’s Empanadas — tasty! Good planning, Immigrant Solidarity Network. But you might want to change that acronym. (Yes, we know; the INS now calls itself the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services. But bad associations die hard.) [Google Maps; Restaurant Finder; ISN] MORE »

* Reliable Source: Rep. Cynthia McKinney reportedly “stabbed” Capitol Hill officer with her cellphone; her new haircut may have caused the confusion. . . Final Four lawmakers put hometown bets on the NCAA game. [WP]
* Under the Dome: DSCC jumps on Sen. George Allen for saying the Senate is “too slow for me.” [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Twenty-two House Republicans seek a review of federally funded sex-ed programs. [WT]
* Page Six: Rush Limbaugh gives “private pointers” to Monica Crowley. . . “Good Morning America” producer who knocked Bush in a leaked email also wrote of Madeleine Albright’s “Jew shame.” [NYP]
* Ben Widdicombe’s Gatecrasher: Rupert Murdoch and his New York Post are “cozying ever closer” to Hillary. [NYDN]

New Network Will Showcase Greed, Lust, Sex [WSJ] MORE »

• Best chance in years to revive Fox’s “Celebrity Boxing” franchise, but Murdoch says no? “Clooney said that he will debate O’Reilly on any venue other than his own, but Bill told him that Rupert won’t allow him to go.” [C & L] MORE »