Wonkette

How much will Marcus Brauchli get to leave the Washington Post in a year or two? Nobody knows, yet! But Brauchli is the new WaPo editor and is expected to make dramatic changes, such as “Maybe the paper should not lose so much money” and “Free stickers in every copy!” Welcome to town, Marcus! Nobody else much likes Washington, either, so don’t feel weird about how D.C. is like some fourth-world slum city run by rats, Russian bodyguards and the Park Service Police. [NYT/Fishbowl DC]

*THEY’VE LOST MURDOCH? THEY’VE LOST MURDOCH!:* The New York Post endorsed Barack Obama for the nomination today, and they did so in 2000 Senate race style — by shredding Hillary and Bill Clinton. Don’t the Clintons still have Rupert Murdoch in their entourage? Did we miss some recent News Corp. memo on the Gawker blog announcing a Change? Although Barry probably had this locked when the New York Times endorsed Hillary Clinton. [NY Post]

Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »

Some alliances are strange, questionable. The one between Hillary Clinton and Rupert Murdoch is one of them. And that oddball alliance did not slip under the radar last weekend while Clinton stumped through Iowa. At one stop, a woman asked Clinton about Murdoch and whether his media conglomerate would put democracy at risk.

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According to a $100-million defamation lawsuit filed in New York Supreme Court against Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., former HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan alleges company brass instructed her to lie to federal investigators to protect Rudy Giuliani’s presidential bid, and that she was a victim of a smear campaign helmed by former boyfriend Bernie Kerik. “The smear campaign was necessary to advance News Corp.’s political agenda, which has long centered on protecting Rudy Giuliani’s presidential ambitions,” Regan said in the complaint filed yesterday. MORE »

As the Post invites us to spend the week with Dick Cheney, the New York Times today presents its own lengthy investigation into the doings of a scary powerful old white guy: Rupert Murdoch. MORE »

* Brain study of liberal Democrats in captivity discovers advanced development of the “bleeding heart lobe.” [Warst]
* Alberto Gonzales “secret hiring order” printed in all caps, SO HE WOULDN’T FORGET. [TPM Muckracker]
* Elizabeth Edwards sooo regrets not punching Jay Carney in the face last night. [Swampland]
* Jon Voight says America has broken the honorary 28th amendment and “forgotten about 9/11.” [Newsbusters]
* Rupert Murdoch plans to use awesome power for forces of good? [Grist]
* Hamas’ “Death to America” Mouse has his show canceled. [JPost]
* Is “Lou Dobbs the next Don Imus?” In our fucking dreams. [Stop the ACLU]

• Strategists warn that his stance on treatment of terror suspects might hurt McCain in 2008, the Maverick is unfazed. [WP, LAT]

• False intelligence from Canada led to the abduction and torture of a Muslim-Canadian citizen by the CIA. [WP, NYT]
• Falling gas prices and terror-talk have Bush’s approval rating at 44%, which is a 52-week high. [USAT]
• Al Gore and John Kerry give the speeches about the environment, religion. What year is this? [WP, WP]
• Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) and his AA-sponsor Jim Ramstad (R-MN) say Congressional sobriety, like corruption, is bi-partisan. [NYT]
• Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. targeting Mel Gibson’s market share with launch of new Christian film studio “FoxFaith.” [LAT]

• Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo]

• In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe]
• Ohio’s centuries of bad luck continues, as billboard with gross-out aborted fetus image gets flown over Cleveland. [Evangelical Right]
• Prince “I’m Never Gonna Be King” Harry enjoys fine automobiles, Red Bull, and horseshit. [Borrowing Trouble]
• Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney kicks off nascent presidential campaign by heading to Iowa and blurting racist comment from his honky mouth. [AP]
• Laura Sessions Stepp immortalized by Great Moments In Journalism, still desperately needs to get laid. [Gawker]

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• Heard on the Hill: A freelance photographer has been sneaking into the Senate Photo Studio. . . Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.) catches a 360-pound shark. . . Chuck Norris meets his biggest fan, the Senate elevator operator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Glenn Close visits the Hill to save wild animals. . . Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) is reaching out to the Polish-American vote. [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: National Enquirer uncovers photos of Rep. Patrick Kennedy dressed up as Michael Jackson. . . Rupert Murdoch on raising funds for Hillary: “It’s not a million-dollar raising. It’s got nothing to do with anything other than her Senate re-election.” [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will add the major cities in congressional districts to their lower-third graphics. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laurie Dhue wins a free trip to Jordan at a party for Queen Rania. . . Ralph Nader gets a form letter response from Bill Clinton. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: What about a Gore-Clinton ticket? [NYP]

wonkette: CBS: Clinton, who says she’s “always been a praying person,” has moved into the territory John Edwards had hoped to claim as the moderate Democrat who cares about average American.
wonkette: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
operative: jesus
wonkette: ONE MODERATE DEMOCRAT, ONE AVERAGE AMERICAN
operative: we must find this average american
operative: do you think it’s a 40-year old white male?
wonkette: i bet he lives in phoenix
operative: phoenix or atlanta
wonkette: Biden is the moderate democrat who is smarter than the average american
wonkette: he can frequently be seen stealing the average american’s pic-a-nic basket
wonkette: “Clinton has worked hard to take the edge off her reputation as a card-carrying liberal.”
operative: THANK GOD
wonkette: card-carrying is not even specific to actual organizations anymore! it’s all-purpose!
operative: Where do I get one of those cards?
operative: AND CAN THE GOVERNMENT PAY FOR IT?
wonkette: you have to send in boxtops from organic cereal
operative: would several hundred bottle caps from fancy-schmancy beer work?
wonkette: as long as it’s not domestic
wonkette: “always been a praying person.”
wonkette: wtf hillary
wonkette: not even “I have always been a christian.”
operative: well, she doesn’t want to piss off too many Jews.
operative: what with their wads of cash.
wonkette: a “praying person,” which sounds distressingly like she’s going to EAT YOU AFTER SHE MATES WITH YOU
operative: oh, god. can’t she just eat me first?
wonkette: SOMEONE WARN RUPERT MURDOCH MORE »

• Reliable Source: Attorney for Robert Steinbuch threatens to add Ana Marie Cox as a co-defendant in his suit against Jessica Cutler. . . Murdoch will host a summer fundraiser for Hillary. . . Mort Kondracke marries Marguerite Sallee, the CEO of America’s Promise. . . Bush twins are spotted buying vintage clothes. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Michael Scanlon will be awarded his diploma from John Hopkins. . . Josh Bolten went to a Nationals game with Bo Derek. . . Woman spotted with Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) is confirmed to be his girlfriend. . . [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Fundraiser for Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) hosted by Mort Zuckerman features Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and former Sen. Al D’Amato (R-N.Y.). . . Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, Petra Nemcova, and Rep. Tom McMillen (D-Md.) showed up for the opening of The Collection at Chevy Chase. . . “Campaign chair” for Rep. Jerry Weller (R-Ill.) caught using a government-issued American Express card at a strip club. [The Hill]

* Reliable Source: Cheney, at Fox News party, says Tony Snow will “do a superb job”. . . George Clooney, Joey Cheek in town for Sunday’s “Save Darfur” rally. [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Rupert Murdoch to Snow: “Congratulations on your promotion - or maybe it’s a demotion.” [NYDN]
* Page Six: Snow isn’t “the greatest sax player”. . . Gen. Richard Myers dining at Da Tommaso in New York. . . Valerie Plame gets star treatment at a Vanity Fair party at the Tribeca Film Festival. [NYP]
* Inside the Beltway: Washington Life magazine hosts celebrity luncheon today, ahead of Correspondents’ Dinner. [WT]