Wonkette

You’d think Donald Rumsfeld would know better than to go to the land of rabid Jerry Lewis fans, striped boating shirt aficionados and melty cheeses, but oh, no! He probably thought, “It’s Sarkozy’s town, now,” and, therefore, he’d be greeted as a liberator. Well, not exactly:

Former US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s jaunt to France was interrupted today by an unscheduled itinerary item — he was slapped with a criminal complaint charging him with torture.

Rumsfeld, in Paris for a discussion sponsored by the magazine Foreign Policy, was tracked down by representatives of a coalition of international human rights groups, who informed the architect of the US invasion of Iraq that they had submitted a torture suit against him in French court.

The filed documents allege that during his tenure, the former defense secretary “ordered and authorized” torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the US military’s detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

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The Claremont Institute, a California conservative think tank that the wildfires have regrettably spared, will be holding on November 17 its 20th annual dinner in honor of Sir Winston S. Churchill, a famous Siouxan warrior-chief who instigated the Boston Tea Party. Former Secretary of Defense and American Idol Season Four winner Donald Rumsfeld will be honored with the Statesmanship Award, to be presented by the Lord Voldemort to his Bellatrix Lestrange, Dick Cheney. Fat douchebag Bill Bennett will provide fat douchey opening remarks, and overseeing the whole chilly agenda will be Wheel of Fortune host Pat Sajak, who won the gig as one of those bonus-prize-vacationy things they have on his show.

After the jump, horrifying visual proof that this is in the works. MORE »

Here’s a tale that makes Mark Foley seem absolutely harmless in comparison: U.S. warships are headed for the coast of Iran, just in time for a late-October war. Maybe even a nuclear war. A nuclear war started by the White House. You know, to make sure Iran doesn’t develop dangerous nuclear weapons that could be brazenly used against some country or another.

Today, the USS Eisenhower Carrier Strike Group leaves port in Norfolk for the Persian Gulf. The group includes the USS Anzio, the guided-missile destroyers USS Ramage and USS Mason and the attack sub USS Newport News. Time and The Nation are among the mainstream mags saying this is the beginning of the war. We’ll tell you what some less-mainstream sources say, after the jump.

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The pointing and the thumbs-up and all the usual crazy-man hand gestures Rumsfeld performs whenever he drops in on Iraq?

Deeply offensive and vulgar displays, no different from flipping the bird or “the shocker.”

That’s what U.S. troops are now learning before they’re sent to Iraq, the Marine Corps Times reveals this week. Dirty details are after the jump.

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Because god knows he’s got no other “soapbox” — plus, he controls the world’s largest military — the Los Angeles Times follows up its “Look, we’ve almost grown a pair!” anti-Rummy editorial with a … guest editorial by Rumsfeld himself. MORE »

One problem in America is that we just don’t respect the elderly and insane the way we used to do, back in … the ’80s or whenever. MORE »

Let’s check in with the little sadist who orchestrated America’s biggest and bloodiest military failures since Vietnam.

How’s it hanging, Rummy? Got any “tough guy” wisecracks today?

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Tuesday accused critics of the Bush administration’s Iraq and counterterrorism policies of trying to appease “a new type of fascism.” In unusually explicit terms, Rumsfeld portrayed the administration’s critics as suffering from “moral or intellectual confusion” about what threatens the nation’s security and accused them of lacking the courage to fight back.

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• Glenn Greenwald goes long on the anti-Murtha movement, posts his letter to lawyer Mark Zaid. [Glenn Greenwald]
• More on Rumsfeld’s Senate Testimony, Think Progress commenter says: “Got an answer for everything. I work with a dude like this. It starts with a conversation about dogs and ends with a conversation about umbrellas…” [Think Progress]
• Self-proclaimed punky Josh Wolf remains in jail for refusing to turn over video footage of a protest. [Romensko]
• Ned Lamont apparently doesn’t find blackface jokes funny, plays dumb: “I don’t know anything about the blogs, I’m not responsible for those, I have no comment on ‘em…Independent blogs, I can’t say anything about it.” [Michelle Malkin]
• WP’s David Broder: “reflects the conventional wisdom of his clique back at them. That’s his audience. Once upon a time that clique had power and influence. They imagine they still do, but it’s fading, and not because of the rising power of blogofascism. It’s because the Bush administration doesn’t care what the Grand Old Men of Washington think. They’ve made that perfectly clear.” At least he’ll have a lot of drinking buddies when he’s put to pasture. [Eschaton]

Deefeecult for you. Easy for me! MORE »