Wonkette

A source close to the Johnson family told us this little tale last night. MORE »

* Ancient Canadian comic to host White House correspondents’ dinner — thanks, Stephen Colbert! [E&P]
* Attack on Iran, come she will. [Arab Times]
* Don’t ever change, The Note. You’re perfect just as you are. [Think Progress]
* Mark Warner can quit campaigning anytime, really, he just likes it. [Hotline on Call]
* John McCain’s two favorite things: “straight talk” and when Wolf swirls his tongue. [Media Matters]
* Return of the “The Fairness Doctrine” could force all broadcast news to resemble Fox. [Captain's Quarters]
* War on drugs: still the undisputed champion of unwinnable wars. [Hit & Run]

* Fox News is looking to fill the long vacant position of “fact writer.” [Mediabistro]
* Silvestre Reyes is smart, just not relevant-to-national-security smart. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Congressman Roger Wicker, whose Mississippi upbringing imbued him with a deep love for opacity in government operations, wants congressional staff salaries off the internetz. [Potomac Flacks]
* Rahm Emanuel did not have awareness relations with those Mark Foley mails. [Unclaimed Territory] MORE »

Barely a day after they outed him, CNN now reports that RNC head Ken Mehlman, exhausted, will out himself… as head of the RNC. (You see what we did there?) MORE »

According to the rumors on an Illinois blog, rumors on many other blogs have not yet been proven to be more than rumors, and the New York Times is having a hard time getting to the bottom of the story, etc. You know, the Jerry Weller story! MORE »

Binge Drink for Jim Webb! Finally, a candidate who truly represents Virginia! MORE »

Here’s the charge: MORE »

We hear that the Independent Senator from Vermont (who is not running for reelection this year) will be announcing something or other at three (-ish) on the Senate floor. MORE »

powered by ODEO MORE »

“How can we say goodbye to these?” (Photo via AP) MORE »

• Page Six: Donald Trump defends the biggest, swankiest flag ever [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Cindy predicts Michael Ripoff’s demise. [NYP]
• Liz Smith: Anthony Kennedy whoops it up with Lally Weymouth. [NYP]
• The Reliable Source: Hillary Duff, Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton spotted in the area. [WP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Will Bloomberg run for President? Signs point to… maybe! [NYDN]

Everybody loves Condi, and everybody wants new Condiproduct delivered daily, so what’s a newspaper to do when she’s gone (or boring) for a few days and no fresh photo-ops or breaking vague quotes are available? Well, if you’re Glenn Kessler at the Washington Post, you simply cut up all the past profiles, throw them up in the air and paste them where they land to create the stunningly pointless new puff-piece which ran yesterday. Yes, yes, she controls her image with unprecedented tightness, she gets greeted by celebrities at foreign airports, she’s a bit of a clothes-horse, people want her to run for President, she’s the anti-Hillary… WE GET IT! Please, Madame Secretary, Doctor Ferragamo, we’re begging you: tease out your hair, slap on some hot-pants, dance on a tabletop and give ‘em something new to write about. Is it any wonder some people forego the ennui and simply make shit up? MORE »

* Short week, short review. First thing you need to know is: on Friday, Wal-Mart tried to answer the questions, “Why you acting shady? Why you ain’t callin’ me baby?”, by having Beyonce and Taylor Hicks perform at their shareholder meeting. CostCo admits they were served. MORE »