Tag Archives: rumors on the internets

  Get Your Nerd On

Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout

All Hail the Risen Blingee
All Hail the Risen Blingee Hey, remember how a week or so back we were all bummed because one of the most useful dumb wonderful things on the Internet, Blingee, was going away forever? Turns out that the public reaction was so anguished, so over the top, so filled with unicorns puking sad glitter, that the site’s owners decided against going gentle into that good Error 404 Page Not Found after all: Read more on Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout…
  Their Football Team Also Sucks Too

Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not

We saw it on the internet so it must be true
Wow, did you hear the shocking news that Barack Obama used one of those unconstitutional executive order thingies to allow a “youth center” run by an open ISIS sympathizer to open in Dearborn, Michigan, which is full of radical Muslims already? It’s completely true, apart from the fact that it’s wholly fictional. But somebody was worried enough to post it on an anti-Muslim Facebook page, and apparently it’s getting some traction on social media, even though it’s from rightwing fake-news site The People’s Cube, which is another of those sites that thinks “satire” need not be “funny.” Read more on Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not…
  fire up your conspiracy theories

Saddam Hussein Shoots Down Malaysian Airliner; Time To Invade Cuba

A Malaysia Air 777 has crashed, probably shot down by a ground-to-air missile, over eastern Ukraine today. We are still in the early “very little is confirmed” stages of this story, so get ready for all sorts of maybe-facts that are likely to become fodder for suspicion and conspiracy theories. At this point, it appears that Flight MH-17 from Amsterdam, headed for Kuala Lumpur, was downed by separatist militants using a truck-mounted missile which struck it at its cruising altitude of approximately 33,000 feet, and the crash site is about 25 miles to the west of the Russia-Ukraine border. 280 passengers and 15 crew were aboard. After the jump, we’ll have video and some idiocy from the web. Read more on Saddam Hussein Shoots Down Malaysian Airliner; Time To Invade Cuba…
  reports of luke russert's credibility have been greatly exaggerated

Luke Russert Kills U.S. Congressman

Luke Russert jumped the gun a short while ago, incorrectly announcing on Twitter that Rep. Bill Young had died. In reality, Rep. Young is hospitalized at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The Tampa Bay Times reports a family spokesperson announced U.S. Rep. C. W. Bill Young’s condition turned for the worse over night and he is gravely ill. His doctors say his prognosis is guarded. Read more on Luke Russert Kills U.S. Congressman…
  princess of darkness destroyeress of worlds

Abomination of Nature Liz Cheney Wants To Be In The Senate, Of Course

Just as you people finish mourning the death of one hateful twat, we show up to tell you about the possible resurrection of another. We are speaking of diseased lizard scrotum Elizabeth Cheney, who is remarkably only the second-most unhinged dipshit to ever get near her mother’s vagina (assuming her conception was natural and ol’ Dick did not impregnate his bride by pointing at her and using the dark side of the Force, Vader style). Take it away, Tucker Carlson’s Online Void Where Human Thought Goes to Die: A source close to the politically active daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney tells The Daily Caller that she is still seriously considering running. Read more on Abomination of Nature Liz Cheney Wants To Be In The Senate, Of Course…
  got his cover blown

Drudge Sirens: Gen. David Petraeus Resigns CIA Due To Spying … Between The Sheets

CIA Director David Petraeus has submitted his resignation, admitting that he’d had an extramarital affair and had exercised “extremely poor judgement.” Petraeus is likely to be replaced on an interim basis by deputy CIA director Mike Morrell, according to Administration sources eager to reassure Americans that the CIA will continue to send killer robots to rain death upon the nation’s enemies. Read more on Drudge Sirens: Gen. David Petraeus Resigns CIA Due To Spying … Between The Sheets…
 

Teabaggers Embrace Silly Bandz Terrorism

Gay Republicans are SO BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS for openly acknowledging the fact that gays can ONLY breed society-destroying criminals and welfare queens. [Gay Patriot] Silly-Bandz whore Justin Bieber played a domestic terrorist on one of those CSI shows. Why does TV want to poison our impressionable tweens against patriotic terrorism? [Breitbart] Read more on Teabaggers Embrace Silly Bandz Terrorism…
  if you live in massachusetts go vote right now duh

Hey Here’s A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!

Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren’t allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few hours. [Politico] Read more on Hey Here’s A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!…
  rumors on the internets

Get Up In the Morning, Slaving For Bread, Sir

Secret Muslin Jew Barack Obama will host the first-ever White House passover seder. [WSJ] The Treasury will delay those toxic-asset “stress test” results to avoid “complicating” the stock market. [Reuters] “A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because he ingested the drug during oral sex with his girlfriend can’t have his job back, a Manhattan judge has ruled.” [NYDN] Read more on Get Up In the Morning, Slaving For Bread, Sir…
  rumors on the internets

Stop Making Sense

When Obama was the nine-year-old boy-king of the Terrorists, in the 60s, he personally gave the order for Bill Ayers to nuke McCain’s best friend’s living room. [Top of the Ticket] Read more on Stop Making Sense…
  rumors on the internets

Political News That Is Not About Joe Biden

If John McCain were tortured, that would mean opening up a freezing, dark can of sexually humiliated and sleep-deprived worms. [Andrew Sullivan] John McCain is the President of house pets. [The Corner] Read more on Political News That Is Not About Joe Biden…
 

Snoop Dogg Says The KKK Hearts Obama

In this long, divisive political primary season, Americans are looking to seasoned political leaders like Snoop Dogg for guidance — and the zany rapper does not disappoint! He claims that Barack Obama’s campaign has been funded in part by the Ku Klux Klan, well known for its historic love of black people. This insane urban legend has already been debunked, of course, but you try telling that to somebody who died that way after they put the baby in the microwave and the turkey in bed and then they turned around and there was a BLOODY HOOK HANGING RIGHT THERE ON THE DOOR HANDLE. [Guardian] Read more on Snoop Dogg Says The KKK Hearts Obama…
 

A Fond Farewell

Calling Hillary a monster isn’t even really that bad a thing to do. It’s not like Samantha Power said something crazy damaging, like Obama wouldn’t follow through one of the major promises of his presidential campaign. Oh, wait. [Ben Smith] Read more on A Fond Farewell…
 

When The Other Puppy Drops

How will the world take Obama seriously if he has to wear water wings when he goes swimming, and drinks his juice from a sippy cup? [The Swamp] Killing puppies is good for America. [Balloon Juice] Read more on When The Other Puppy Drops…
 

Not-Change You Can Believe In

Did Rush Limbaugh swing Texas for Clinton? Does the pope piss in the woods? [Ben Smith, Reason] Bush’s endorsement “does matter,” just like punk’s not dead. [Naked Politics] Gee, thanks for your helpful words, Mr. President. [Think Progress] Read more on Not-Change You Can Believe In…