Tag: rumors on the internets

Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clinton’s Child Sex Ring, As One Does.

Fake News begets real news, which begets fake news that real news is fake.

Yeah, There’s Still No Voter Fraud, Despite Your Idiot Facebook Friends

Who'd have guessed rampant paranoia would result in false rumors of voting fraud?
All Hail the Risen Blingee

Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout

Hey, remember how a week or so back we were all bummed because one of the most useful dumb wonderful things on the Internet, Blingee, was going away forever? Turns out that the public reaction was so anguished, so...
Typical.

Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not

Wow, did you hear the shocking news that Barack Obama used one of those unconstitutional executive order thingies to allow a "youth center" run by an open ISIS sympathizer to open in Dearborn, Michigan, which is full of radical...

Wingnut Blogs Pretty Sure They Found An ISIS Infiltrator At Houston Deli

Here's your latest update on the continuing infiltration of ISIS in the U.S. of A.: not only are they massing on the southern border and ready to invade everywhere, it turns out that they're already here, ordering sammiches at...

Saddam Hussein Shoots Down Malaysian Airliner; Time To Invade Cuba

A Malaysia Air 777 has crashed, probably shot down by a ground-to-air missile, over eastern Ukraine today. We are still in the early "very little is confirmed" stages of this story, so get ready for all sorts of maybe-facts...

Luke Russert Kills U.S. Congressman

Luke Russert jumped the gun a short while ago, incorrectly announcing on Twitter that Rep. Bill Young had died. In reality, Rep. Young is hospitalized at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The Tampa Bay Times reports a...

Abomination of Nature Liz Cheney Wants To Be In The Senate, Of Course

Just as you people finish mourning the death of one hateful twat, we show up to tell you about the possible resurrection of another. We are speaking of diseased lizard scrotum Elizabeth Cheney, who is remarkably only the second-most...

Drudge Sirens: Gen. David Petraeus Resigns CIA Due To Spying … Between The Sheets

CIA Director David Petraeus has submitted his resignation, admitting that he'd had an extramarital affair and had exercised "extremely poor judgement." Petraeus is likely to be replaced on an interim basis by deputy CIA director Mike Morrell, according to...

Teabaggers Embrace Silly Bandz Terrorism

Gay Republicans are SO BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS for openly acknowledging the fact that gays can ONLY breed society-destroying criminals and welfare queens. Silly-Bandz whore Justin Bieber played a domestic terrorist on one of those CSI shows. Why does TV...

Hey Here’s A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!

Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren't allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few...

Get Up In the Morning, Slaving For Bread, Sir

Secret Muslin Jew Barack Obama will host the first-ever White House passover seder. The Treasury will delay those toxic-asset "stress test" results to avoid "complicating" the stock market. "A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because...

Stop Making Sense

When Obama was the nine-year-old boy-king of the Terrorists, in the 60s, he personally gave the order for Bill Ayers to nuke McCain's best friend's living room. 100% of the Maverick's dumb teevee commercials are negative. Only 1/3 of...

Political News That Is Not About Joe Biden

If John McCain were tortured, that would mean opening up a freezing, dark can of sexually humiliated and sleep-deprived worms. John McCain is the President of house pets. Howard Dean stress eats M&Ms at an airport Holiday Inn. Age-inflation...

A Fond Farewell