rumors on the internets

Luke Russert jumped the gun a short while ago, incorrectly announcing on Twitter that Rep. Bill Young had died. In reality, Rep. Young is hospitalized at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The Tampa Bay Times reports a family spokesperson announced U.S. Rep. C. W. Bill Young’s condition turned for the worse over night and […]

Just as you people finish mourning the death of one hateful twat, we show up to tell you about the possible resurrection of another. We are speaking of diseased lizard scrotum Elizabeth Cheney, who is remarkably only the second-most unhinged dipshit to ever get near her mother’s vagina (assuming her conception was natural and ol’ […]

CIA Director David Petraeus has submitted his resignation, admitting that he’d had an extramarital affair and had exercised “extremely poor judgement.” Petraeus is likely to be replaced on an interim basis by deputy CIA director Mike Morrell, according to Administration sources eager to reassure Americans that the CIA will continue to send killer robots to […]

Gay Republicans are SO BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS for openly acknowledging the fact that gays can ONLY breed society-destroying criminals and welfare queens. [Gay Patriot] Silly-Bandz whore Justin Bieber played a domestic terrorist on one of those CSI shows. Why does TV want to poison our impressionable tweens against patriotic terrorism? [Breitbart] No one trusts the […]

Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren’t allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few hours. [Politico] HEY, HARVARD COMMIES: If you go to vote for the robot lady, but Scott […]

Secret Muslin Jew Barack Obama will host the first-ever White House passover seder. [WSJ] The Treasury will delay those toxic-asset “stress test” results to avoid “complicating” the stock market. [Reuters] “A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because he ingested the drug during oral sex with his girlfriend can’t have his job […]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:21 pm October 8, 2008

Stop Making Sense

by Juli Weiner

When Obama was the nine-year-old boy-king of the Terrorists, in the 60s, he personally gave the order for Bill Ayers to nuke McCain’s best friend’s living room. [Top of the Ticket] 100% of the Maverick’s dumb teevee commercials are negative. Only 1/3 of Obama’s are negative. [Marc Ambinder] Palin rambles off all the prepositions she […]

If John McCain were tortured, that would mean opening up a freezing, dark can of sexually humiliated and sleep-deprived worms. [Andrew Sullivan] John McCain is the President of house pets. [The Corner] Howard Dean stress eats M&Ms at an airport Holiday Inn. [Yeas and Nays] Age-inflation victim John McCain is actually middle-aged, which is why […]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  8:30 pm March 7, 2008

A Fond Farewell

by Ken Layne