Posts Tagged ‘rumors on the internets’

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Click Here For Steamy Central Bank Fan Fiction (NSFW)

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Leftist vaginaphobia exposed at last! [Hit & Run]
52% of Republicans believe ACORN was the 19th hijacker. [The Plank]
Haven’t you always wondered what Mother Earth would look like if she rocked some Saturn ring-bling? Enter the YouTubes and MS Paint: she would look fabulous. [Andrew Sullivan]
The liberal media: not actually communist, or just flirting? [Gateway Pundit]
There’s really only two things that arouse Matthew Yglesias: heavy petting and the Central Bank. [Matt Yglesias]

Tags: acorn, central bank, earth, rumors on the internets, republicans
Posted in Wonkette | 12 Comments »

Sarah Palin Signs Books, Erick Erickson’s Right Teet

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

More fancy graphics in support of taxing marijuana cigarettes. [Hit & Run]
Matt is very worried about nonchalant archeologists digging up nuclear waste just for the fun of it. [Matt Yglesias]
Here is your masturbatory WHAT IF? of the day: WHAT IF Barack Obama is fatally electrocuted by a stingray BUT Joe Biden doesn’t want to be president SO Senator Byrd — who is old! — becomes president because he’s president pro tempore of the Senate? [The Corner]
Erick Erickson had an intimate discussion with Sarah Palin at a WaPo salon (?). [RedState]
The Anti-Defamation League continues to protect Barack Obama from Jew-haters. [The Caucus]

Tags: anti-defamation league, barack obama, erick erickson, joe biden, pot, rumors on the internets, sarah palin, senator byrd
Posted in Wonkette | 51 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Scholars In Awe Of Word ‘Teabagger,’ Familiar With Its Latin Root

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Matt Yglesias dabbles in some parliamentary role playing. [Matt Yglesias]
A thousand years from now, historians will agree that Barack Obama was the worst military strategist of all time. They will write heavily footnoted volumes about how even Bo could beat Barack in a simple game of Stratego. Yes. Barack Obama is a disgrace to America’s proud military might. [RedState]
The port-drinking snooty-britches at Oxford quite nearly made “teabagger” the Most Beguiling Word Of The Year. [Think Progress]
The terrible SEIU surrounded Joe Lieberman’s home and cut his power and teepeed his lawn and now who will rescue poor, fragile Joe Lieberman? Who will save him from these godless brutes? [Gateway Pundit]
The Weekly Standard curates a Chinese “Flaming Barack Obama” exhibit. [Weekly Standard]

Tags: barack obama, china, joe lieberman, rumors on the internets, seiu
Posted in Wonkette | 35 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Why Won’t Greedy Al Gore Accept CEI’s Generous Birthday Check?

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Mark Shields goes on teevee, describes his favorite sweaty homoerotic fantasy in vivid detail. [Think Progress]
Matt Yglesias is very relieved that CAP is forbidden by federal law to replace him with a genetically superior blogger. [Matt Yglesias]
Who will protect America’s morbidly obese children from mutant, oven-sized cupcakes? [Weekly Standard]
A CNN intern galloped through the busy markets of Beijing in search of ObaMaoist souvenirs, only to discover that such paraphernalia has been outlawed for all eternity! And according to Mr. Gateway Pundit this is very bad/good/communist/socialist/gay? Sometimes it’s just hard to tell. [Gateway Pundit]
CEI will deposit $500 in Al Gore’s PayPal account if he finger-bangs Lord Monckton. $510.50 if CEI can watch. [The Corner]

Tags: al gore, cei, cnn, cupcakes, lord monckton, Mark Shields, obamao, obese kids, rumors on the internets
Posted in Wonkette | 36 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

The Naval Academy Wants Diverse Sailors, But No Gays Please

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

Afghanistan…What to do in Afghanistan? Uh, let’s just go with the same strategy the Russians used, and then add a few sprinkles of Donald Rumsfeld for pizazz. [Matt Yglesias]
Marco Rubio is such a delicious stud muffin. [TPM]
Barack Obama really isn’t into that “saving” thing. It’s not his style. Barack Obama will not save your job. He doesn’t even save his doodles on MS Paint. [Gateway Pundit]
Sorry ladies, but E.J. Dionne will not let you commit murder. No ma’am, Not on his watch! [Think Progress]
Michelle Malkin is accepted to the Naval Academy! Congratulations, Michelle! [Michelle Malkin]

Tags: afghanistan, barack obama, e.j. dionne, marco rubio, naval academy, rumors on the internets
Posted in Wonkette | 25 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Europe Is Full Of Decadent Cowards Unwilling To Die For Afghanistan

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Too much yakking about whether Sarah Palin is “qualified” or “a dumbass.” Let’s just trust Rush Limbaugh’s expert judgment and move on. [Hot Air]
RedState book club! And what are we reading this week? Oh, Jonah Goldberg’s Newberry-Awarding winning throw-up? Delectable. [RedState]
The #1 reason the European Union blows is not that it’s a conglomerate of shameless socialist welfare states. (That’s the #2 reason.) No no, far worse is that because of the EU there are no more European wars! Oh, boo! [Matt Yglesias]
Sean Hannity discusses the pros and cons of religious conservatives making sex tapes. [AMERICAblog]

Tags: eu, islam, pat robertson, rumors on the internets, sarah palin, sean hannity
Posted in Wonkette | 35 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

The Planets Are Aligned, Now Is The Perfect Time To Boycott The DNC

Monday, November 9th, 2009

2010 attack ads seem to come earlier every year! [RedState]
OH merciful heavens! The SEIU are coming! The SEIU are coming! Quick Kenneth Gladney, go hide in the fallout shelter! [Gateway Pundit]
Will America do the right thing and invade Fort Hood for harboring “al Qaeda?” There is, after all, a rather alarming precedent. [Weekly Standard]
Is there anything the Westboro Baptist Church does like? How about puppies? Or chocolate cake? No. God hates it all. [True/Slant: Harmon Leon]
AMERICAblog and Daily Kos are boycotting the DNC! Yes, they will no longer purchase boxes of Frosted DNC Flakes at the supermarket, even though the kids love it. The generic brand is more reasonably priced and just as tasty. [AMERICAblog]

Tags: dnc, fbi, fort hood, rumors on the internets, seiu, westboro baptist church
Posted in Wonkette | 41 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Goldman Sachs Artificially Inflates The Price Of H1N1

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

Yeah yeah alright, the mighty elephant “ballot boxed” (pun!) the snot out of the scrawny little donkey. But check out the guns on that elephant, and his extremely agitated facial expression. ‘Roids. Textbook case. [RedState]
Everyone gets access to affordable health care? Isn’t that what happened to the Jews at Dachau? The latest scholarship — and some dude with a sign — would suggest so. [Think Progress]
Delete your Gmail account, pound a two-liter bottle of Robitussin and head for Mexico. You have been way too productive lately, and it’s time to take it easy. [Matt Yglesias]
Wall Street gets first dibs on the swine flu vaccine! Let us weep for Matt Taibbi. He is still without an FDA-approved vaccine for his uncontrollable rage. [AMERICAblog]

Tags: charlie crist, health care, productivity, rumors on the internets, swine flu
Posted in Wonkette | 18 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Yes, This Is What The ‘GOP Renaissance’ Looks Like

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Sesame Street beefs on FOX? Oscar the Grouch lives in a trashcan because he is a dirty Maoist. [Gateway Pundit]
Barack Obama > Moderate Democrats > Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table > Moderate Republicans > Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
The best part of last night was when voters told the Gays they couldn’t get married. Remember the Maine! And suck a fat one, Rachel Maddow! [The Corner]
A Hoffman poll watcher had his tires slashed by ACORN, but “local police are not willing to confirm it was a tire slashing.” Ha, typical! More foul play from the conniving Democrats. [RedState]
“The GOP renaissance has begun,” said the cow blocking the train. “Moo.” [TPM]

Tags: barrack obama, gay marriage, hoffman, maine, michael steele, rumors on the internets, rachel maddow
Posted in Wonkette | 29 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

New Jersey Molested By Terrible Mobs Of Political Flyers

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Oh no. Oh no no no. What is this? What … how? Democratic “gangbangers,” gangbanging doors, with flyers? And a video — a terrifying video! — of an anonymous woman, who fears for her dear sweet life … HELP! NEW JERSEY DEMOCRATIC FLYER-GANGBANGERS! [Hot Air]
Michelle Malkin double-doggy dares you to defend muslins and their so-called sharia law. [Michelle Malkin]
Vote Jonah Goldberg’s brother for NYC City Council! And then read about Jonah Goldberg’s kitten lightsaber fettish — but only if you vote for his brother! [The Corner]
We now know for sure that waterboarding saved America from shoe bombers and global warming. Q. E. muther-fuckin’ D. [Weekly Standard]
A very important Arizona Republican correctly points out that Democrats are entirely unfamiliar with the daily suffering of “those brown people.” [Think Progress]

Tags: brown people, CIA, josh goldberg, New Jersey, rumors on the internets, sharia law, waterboarding
Posted in 1 | 35 Comments »

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

RedState Will Never Ever Ever Forgive Michael Steele, Ever

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Erick Erickson insists upon a Great Purge to keep the GOP pure. Erick, you sick sick Stalinist bastard! [RedState]
Sarah Palin is “ready” to be “president,” according to “Rush” “Limbaugh.” [Gateway Pundit]
Who else is on the CIA payroll, besides Ahmed Wali Karzai and Luis Posada Carriles? The answer will not surprise you in the least. [The Plank]
Oh, GREAT: The terrorists get free swine flu vaccines while pregnant women and stray children are encouraged to stock up on Emergen-C and hope for the best. This is health care reform? We want America back! [Ace of Spades]
Remember when Bill Clinton parachuted into North Korea and whispered delicious lies into Kim Jong-il’s tender ear and then saved two lady-journalists from a decade of slave labor? Yeah well, that part about Kim Jong-il never actually happened — hot damn, it was Photoshopped! [Daily Intel]

Tags: bill clinton, CIA, gop purge, kim jong il, rumors on the internets, rush limbaugh, sarah palin, swine flu
Posted in Wonkette | 68 Comments »