Wonkette

You’d think Donald Rumsfeld would know better than to go to the land of rabid Jerry Lewis fans, striped boating shirt aficionados and melty cheeses, but oh, no! He probably thought, “It’s Sarkozy’s town, now,” and, therefore, he’d be greeted as a liberator. Well, not exactly:

Former US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s jaunt to France was interrupted today by an unscheduled itinerary item — he was slapped with a criminal complaint charging him with torture.

Rumsfeld, in Paris for a discussion sponsored by the magazine Foreign Policy, was tracked down by representatives of a coalition of international human rights groups, who informed the architect of the US invasion of Iraq that they had submitted a torture suit against him in French court.

The filed documents allege that during his tenure, the former defense secretary “ordered and authorized” torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the US military’s detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

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There are Friday News Dumps, and then there are Friday News Dumps Before Labor Day Weekend. MORE »

Katie has built a magnificent journalism career on a great set of legs. And this Craigslist poster, with a little luck, may end up with amazing breasts — which she’ll parlay into an anchor’s chair of her own: MORE »

Please, Al, you’re scaring the kids: MORE »

Rumsfeld: “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
Soldier #1: “Sorry — six retired generals say you can’t sit with us.”
Soldier #2: “And on Wednesdays, we wear camo.” MORE »

Or maybe he wasn’t. From this morning’s Post: MORE »

* It turns out that a court does resemble a circus, at least when Jessica Cutler is there, along with a former paramour as plaintiff and an alleged former paramour as defense counsel. Well, not anymore, as defense counsel had to “pull out.” MORE »

Yes, we know all about the purported White House gossip posted over at Something Awful (and picked up by Daily Kos, among other places). We’ve known about if for a while now, but we’ve been holding off on doing anything with it because we can’t tell how much of it is factual and how much of it is satirical or apocryphal. Here at Wonkette, we’re all about factual accuracy.

But since so many of you have emailed us about it, we’ll blog about it, just to stem the flow of messages. In case you’re not familiar with it, Something Awful is a comedic community website, with a huge and intensely loyal message board community. Last week, a community member called “Martin Random” posted a long thread of what he called “Secrets from Inside the White House.”

Excerpts from the lengthy thread, accompanied by our comments, appear after the jump.

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Every now and then, we tune in to the Pentagon briefings given by Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Today’s briefing, while not as entertaining as the one from last month — you know, the one where Rummy took a swipe at Maureen Dowd — had its moments. MORE »

* The Post spent two whole paragraphs on the National Day of Action for Immigrant Justice before focusing on how the afternoon rush hour will be affected. They helpfully included a map of the march route, so readers can keep a healthy two block distance. [WP] MORE »

And he is very, very happy to see them. MORE »

We’ve already shared with you the best part of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s Pentagon briefing: his slap at the saucy Maureen Dowd. But there were some other interesting or amusing moments in today’s press conference.

Today’s conference didn’t seem like a fun one for Secretary Rumsfeld. He stood at the podium looking constipated and squinty, like someone driving on a sunny day without shades. He spent much of the briefing on the defensive, responding to largely hostile questions from the pool (except for that softball about the hostage release — which he didn’t make very much of, strangely enough).

Several of Secretary Rumsfeld’s lines cry out for rejoinders (again, these are paraphrased, but they should be pretty close):

“Iraq needs a good government, a competent government, a government that governs from the center.”

And what about America?

More choice quotes appear after the jump.

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We’ll have more to say later about Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s press briefing at the Pentagon, which is currently going on. But we wanted to pass along this priceless exchange as soon as possible (paraphrased; we don’t have the transcript yet): MORE »