Wonkette

In a mere twelve-ish hours or so, Wonkette’s one-time-only “name your favorite First Lady” contest will close. So check out the Official Rules here and send in your wonderful 25-word Idears (that is what famous First Lady Howard Dean calls them) to tips@wonkette.com by noon tomorrow with the subject line MY FAVORITE FIRST LADY IS NOT THAT STRUMPET ABIGAIL FILLMORE. You might just win yourself a copy of that book, American Wife! Meanwhile, if you do not participate in this contest, you will be forced to chant “Nancy Reagan” into a mirror five times until the ghost of Jane Wyman shows up and murders you with a rusty eyelash curler.

If hard-living state legislators have their way, bars in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area may stay open until 4 a.m. during the Republican National Convention in early September. One aggrieved tipster writes to Wonkette: “Sure, us regular alcoholics have to stop at 1:00AM and the Republicans get to drink till 4:00AM. What next, hooker discount coupons?” [KARE11.com]

Explosive reporting from the New York Times reveals that many millions of years ago, when the Army Corps of Engineers was busy separating North America from Pangaea, a little child was born unto Roberta and John McCain, Junior. This child, John Sidney McCain III, was born in the Panama Canal Zone. And because of this, he will never be president. MORE »