Wonkette

Rudy Giuliani has always been a loser, but now he meets the narrower, more technical definition of the word, since he ran for president and lost lost lost lost ha ha ha ha LOST er, excuse us, he lost. Anyway, having nothing better to do but enjoy the company of his crazy new wife and loving children millions of dollars earned from 9/11-themed “leadership” talks, Rudy will no doubt go crawling back to the city where he grew up, and where his career was launched. Of course, when Rudy’s hometown paper went around the city to collect words of encouragement for him, New York’s inhabitants lived up to their nurturing, supportive reputation when asked what they thought of their ex-mayor’s valiant run at the presidency: MORE »

OMG RUDY IS LEAVING US! Turn on your teevee and cry 911 tears, because Rudy’s going on live right now to say good-bye to us, forever, and to endorse crazy old weirdo John McCain.

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Jesus, another debate? Didn’t we just have about 17 consecutive nights of debates in South Carolina and Florida? Well, now it’s back to the Ronald Reagan Library and Giant Prop Air Force One Plane for what will be a glorious night if only because Rudy Giuliani will not be on the stage talking about how he saved 9/11 from Islamofascism. Or maybe he will! You never know! Break out your prescription painkillers and we’ll all meet back here for liveblogging action at the usual hour.
Reagan Library Debate [Ron Paul Forums]

Because Rudy Giuliani ended his campaign for America’s terrorism mayor yesterday, and because the kids enjoy top 10 lists (like on the David Letterman show), and because it is the most obvious opportunity to strike since 9/11, here is your list of the best Giuliani references to America’s Holiday in the Sun, 9/11. After this, we hope to never speak about either Rudy Giuliani or 9/11 again. The very existence of Rudy’s campaign, after all, proved that the terrorists had won a long time ago. MORE »

Let’s see, John Edwards is a loser who just dropped out, Rudy Giuliani is a loser who just dropped out, and … whoa, hey, what’s Walnuts doing in this picture? Didn’t McCain win or something. Maybe ABCnews.com editors are just preparing us for the eventual tragic John McCain loss in November, to Ralph Nader. [ABC News]

Did you know McCain lived for a few weeks or months in Florida, too? That’s what he just said. He “learned” to fly in Pensacola, but not so good. Let’s let John shine now, as he was, after all, TORTURED during his time living in Florida. (Really. He was based in Florida when he got shot down in Vietnam.) There’s Charlie Crist standing right behind John, and Charlie just looks jubilant! Let’s see if Ol’ Walnuts will say anything of interest …. MORE »

Not sure yet, but he just made fun of Ron Paul for winning those “telephone voting” things after debates. It was really nasty! Stay tuned.

9:27 — He said something about New Hampshire, now he’s outlining his ENTIRE PLATFORM. This is looking very, very much like he will endorse McCain, and maybe drop out too.
9:30 — Did he *say* he’s quitting, and I missed it? He has said everything else, but not that.
9:32 — Now MSNBC is showing Mitt, so let’s just assume Rudy quit and end this 3-comment liveblog.
9:35 — Make it 4-comment: He is making an announcement tomorrow about his future, forcing some perfunctory national reporters and photographers to fly to his Quitting Cave to hear the damn word itself. Remember when he made fun of Ron Paul at the beginning of his speech? I am TOO excited to check out Ron Paul Forums now.

With 22% of the Florida precincts reporting, McCain is just ahead of Romney, 34%-31%. Guess who is the world’s biggest loser? Ron Paul! But the real loser is Rudy “Nobody Remembers 9/11 No More” Giuliani. He bet everything on Florida, say the teevee people. He spent $30 million here. But then Republicans actually thought for a moment about Rudy, and they all said, “No, no, that is one thing that will never ever be president of anything, not even 9/11.” Let’s live-blog this one, too. Or “liveblog” it, as they say in Florida. MORE »

*SO YOU’RE SAYING HE WILL DROP OUT?:* From The Page: “Giuliani expected to endorse McCain, as early as Wednesday — in Los Angeles or Simi Valley.” The story references its source as “SOURCES.” [The Page]

Some exit polls have come in from the Florida Republican primary, courtesy of Ronald Reagan and the National Review team: the “second wave numbers” from late afternoon have McCain at 34.3%, Romney at 32.6%, Giuliani at 15.3% and Huckabee in fourth with a golf penis. And only the National Review can provide us with a reader’s update like this: “I also noticed the political trading markets pop a bit toward Romney right after 5 o’clock. Romney had been trading in the high 30s and now he’s mid-40s.” While we await further word from Wall Street, check out some quantitive and qualitative exit poll trends from the Associated Press, after the jump! MORE »

Who would’ve guessed just a year ago that “regular Americans” hated Rudy Giuliani as much as, say, Wonkette? Republican or Democrat, Black or White, Kenyan or American, we are all united in this post-racial era of thinking Rudy’s a complete creep.

Today, our weirdest and most politically dangerous state will choose a GOP candidate. And if the good people of Florida continue to despise Rudy as much as normal people — polls show him tied for third with Mike Huckabee — our grand hero of 9/11 may be back on the corporate-retreat lecture circuit for good. Asked if he’ll finally drop out of the race and quit embarrassing our nation, Giuliani said, “Wednesday morning, we’ll make a decision.” [ABC News, Miami Herald]

In last week’s Florida GOP debate, they asked Rudy about those dastardly words the New York Times offered him in their McCain endorsement. Rudy, with only one not-entirely-bullshit card to play, was proud — the New York Times, see, is for gays and Clintons and crippled hobbits. Now he’s actually running with that idea — that liberal newspapers are in gay-love with John McCain. And if a=b=c and you carry the zero and pigs fly, that means conservatives must automatically like Rudy Giuliani! There’s no 9/11 in this ad, but the new flavor of suffocating strategy — that he is the best because he has no endorsements — might… make the kids like him more?

Why did the New York Times even bother writing a Republican primary endorsement? And since they did, couldn’t they have found a single editorial board lackey who gave a shit? Look at this first sentence: “We have strong disagreements with all the Republicans running for president.” Jesus, why don’t you wave your vanity flag a little higher?

Meh, who cares. The Rudy part is really funny. MORE »