Hey Hey, Listen To Rudy Giuliani’s Dumb Robocall
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008Robocalls, everyone’s talking about ‘em, these devilish angerbots that keep calling swing state voters and saying mean things about candidates. This one made us laugh out loud for the sole reason that it’s from Rudy Giuliani, and he says, among other things: “You need to know that Barack Obama opposes mandatory prison sentences for sex offenders, drug dealers and murderers. It’s true, I read Barack Obama’s words myself.” Since when can Rudy Giuluani read words? Ha ha, GOOD GOD. Can you imagine answering your phone only to hear this failed stupid fucking idiot say crap about anyone, based on what he “read himself”? Stop spitting on us, phone. [Jonathan Martin]











What better surrogate for McCain to whore out to reporters during a financial crisis than Rudy Giuliani, who personally… uh… made Wall Street have lots of liquidity or something on 9/11, with his bullhorn. Today’s conference call sounds like it was even funnier than 9/11, and that’s saying something. 
Over the summer we mentioned that Andrew Giuliani, the son of 9/11, was suing Duke University because “he was wrongfully kicked off the golf team,” because talent should have had nothing to do with whether he made the cut on a sports team. But maybe this stuff does: “Duke said in a court filing Wednesday that the 22-year-old Giuliani was properly suspended after throwing an apple in the face of another player, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and becoming verbally abusive with a coach.” Andrew denies all of this, which brings us back to the original argument: that he sucks at golf. [
Like Sarah Palin said last night, mayors have Actual Responsibilities, unlike community organizers who just help poor people stay alive after their steel plant jobs are outsourced. And Sarah Palin’s responsibilities included funding “the meth capitol of Alaska,” as Alaskan State Troopers call the Wasilla region: “When authorities surrounded a converted bus housing a meth operation in Big Lake in January, a 13-year-old boy who answered the door bragged that his mom cooked the best meth in the valley, according to the troopers.” See? In Alaska, “Hockey Mom” is code for “Arctic Meth Princess.” [
John McCain’s best friend Ron Fournier, the Washington editor of the Associated Press, has written a nice news analysis about, what else, Sexism. He notes that McCain strategist Steve Schmidt’s dismissal of the “faux media scandal designed to destroy the first female Republican nominee for the vice president of the United States Famous” is only the beginning of a terrible two-month strategy to employ the SEX CARD, because what else is there to play? More hilariously, Fournier quotes famous wartime rat-fisting mayor Rudy Giuliani *calling other people sexist.* You know, Rudy! The one who dumped his second wife in a teevee news conference, because what the fuck. [
You may have seen Rudy Giuliani, a stupid fucking idiot, all over the teevee during the Democratic National Convention. Today he visited a TERRORISM EXHIBIT in Denver, one which he probably created in the last year just so he could tour it during the Democratic National Convention. He said that we must Never Regret, or what is it, Never Fret, or Never Forfeit, or FORGET, because “that’s the kind of thinking that got us into the problem into the first place.” Hey man, we’re sure everyone in America hopes that anti-terrorism government officials are doing their best. And we’re also hoping that the mayors of major American cities are protecting their cities from obvious shit like planes flying into buildings. [