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Posts Tagged “Rudy Giuliani”

who can forget

Hey Look, Rudy Giuliani's Still A Loser

The former frontrunner for the Republican nomination and mayor of 9/11, Rudy Giuliani, is keeping himself busy with his consulting business these days, which has been booming ever since his highly successful presidential candidacy. He is now consulting in UKRAINE for some stupid mayor's race, where His Candidate is a former boxer. Look at the great advice Rudy is giving his candidate: "If Vitaly is elected mayor of Kiev, my first piece of advice for him would be to say ... no more corruption, corruption is over." ... Because of 9/11? [FP Passport]

1:07 PM on Wed May 14 2008
By Newell
503 views, 34 comments

Latest by SCROTUS: Gawd, I miss Ghoullie Annie. Just think of all the 911 we've been missing. Right now his supporters would be sporting bumper stickers, "911 was an outside job." more »

9/11

Catholic Church Condemns American Mayor Giuliani!

Rudy Giuliani has well-known problems reconciling his Catholic faith with his favorite hobbies: destroying fetuses, living with terrible homosexuals and cavorting around town dressed as an old-fashioned gal. Yet he took High Mass when Pope Ratzi visited New York recently even though the Pope surely hates him. The Archbishop of New York is so upset with Rudy's participation in this ancient pagan ritual that he has issued a statement condemning Giuliani, who was mayor of the city when planes crashed into two of its buildings. Read the "ha-ha funny" statement below. More »

3:43 PM on Mon Apr 28 2008
By Newell
2,427 views, 36 comments

Latest by kindofabigdeal: He's just doing Rudi a favor. Once you get fetus on your taste buds, the Christriscuits just don't taste the same. more »

third wives, second chances

Giuliani Urged To Join McCain In All-Adulterer's Ticket

John McCain, never a darling of the Limbaugh crowd, needs a running mate who can shore up his right-wing credentials: a god-fearing Christian who's tough on immigration and can bring social conservatives back into the fold. And who better than a thrice-married, opera-loving abortionist Manhattan dandy who once presided over the nation's largest sanctuary city, and who wowed the political punditry with his gloriously failed "Florida, then nothing" strategy? More »

2:25 PM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By saraksmith
2,242 views, 25 comments

monsters

Missing The Republican Candidates, A Retrospective



Thanks to the Young Turks for making the video that will heal America: a retrospective of our dearly departed Republican candidates. God, these guys were fun. Fortunately, Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney will probably run again in four or eight years, and those candidacies will probably launch in a few months. In the meantime, vote in our poll for which monster you miss the most. More »

1:01 PM on Fri Mar 7 2008
By Newell
1,606 views, 35 comments

america's mayor

9/11 To Run For Senate?

He never let us forget, and then we forgot for a few months, but now they don't want us to forget again: The Political Bosses in New Jersey are considering getting America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, to run for Senate in New Jersey against America's Jew, Frank Lautenberg. But was he in New Jersey enough when the 9/11 buildings fell? More »

10:55 AM on Fri Mar 7 2008
By Newell
1,430 views, 25 comments

you never let us forget

Giuliani Apparently An Ad Man Now

This smokin' hot new anti-smoking ad for ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) is, well, very very inappropriate! When Rudy fearmongers with 9/11, we hate him; when anti-smoking fearmongers with 9/11, do we hate anti-smoking also? Everyone smoke immediately — Barack Obama knows what's up. [via Copyranter, full-size ad here]

10:52 AM on Fri Feb 29 2008
By Newell
4,791 views, 30 comments

america's mayor

Giuliani Leaves $9 to $11 Million Dollars In Campaign Funds Behind

[USA Today]

4:52 PM on Mon Feb 25 2008
By Newell
1,461 views, 18 comments

the 9/11 fund

Do Not Give Your Spare Change To Rudy Giuliani!

America’s Loser, Rudy Giuliani, has a week to keep his website up, and that asshat apparently will run the clock out. After spending $30 million in Florida for that hilarious third-place showing, he needs those donations to pay his bills. Give the loser some money, or… uh… 9/11 will happen again in whatever city he happens to be in right now, and he’ll have to fix it! [JoinRudy2008]

3:35 PM on Thu Feb 14 2008
By Newell
813 views, 23 comments

kansas caucus

Huckabee Wins Kansas...

… almost 3:1 over McCain. But the real story is Alan Keyes, who earned more than twice the votes of Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson combined. The Keyes SURGE, it’s finally happening! [Kansas GOP]

7:15 PM on Sat Feb 9 2008
By Newell
1,021 views, 31 comments

turns out he couldn't make it anywhere

BREAKING: New Yorkers May Not Be Very Nice

Rudy Giuliani has always been a loser, but now he meets the narrower, more technical definition of the word, since he ran for president and lost lost lost lost ha ha ha ha LOST er, excuse us, he lost. Anyway, having nothing better to do but enjoy the company of his crazy new wife and loving children millions of dollars earned from 9/11-themed “leadership” talks, Rudy will no doubt go crawling back to the city where he grew up, and where his career was launched. Of course, when Rudy’s hometown paper went around the city to collect words of encouragement for him, New York’s inhabitants lived up to their nurturing, supportive reputation when asked what they thought of their ex-mayor’s valiant run at the presidency: More »

2:19 PM on Thu Jan 31 2008
By jfruh
9,057 views, 44 comments

Latest by bitchincamaro: I saw a sqweegie-man today. Fuck you, Rooty. more »

OMG RUDY IS LEAVING US! Turn on your teevee and cry 911 tears, because Rudy’s going on live right now to say good-bye to us, forever, and to endorse crazy old weirdo John McCain.

30 comments

every night is a debate night

Live From The Reagan Library: GOP Candidates Talking About Reagan!

Jesus, another debate? Didn’t we just have about 17 consecutive nights of debates in South Carolina and Florida? Well, now it’s back to the Ronald Reagan Library and Giant Prop Air Force One Plane for what will be a glorious night if only because Rudy Giuliani will not be on the stage talking about how he saved 9/11 from Islamofascism. Or maybe he will! You never know! Break out your prescription painkillers and we’ll all meet back here for liveblogging action at the usual hour.
Reagan Library Debate [Ron Paul Forums]

6:09 PM on Wed Jan 30 2008
By KLayne
345 views, 8 comments

Latest by rocktonsam: R-Squared hated going to church. He seemed to like God and stuff. more »

america's unpopular mayor

The Top 10 Rudy Giuliani 9/11 References In Global History

Because Rudy Giuliani ended his campaign for America’s terrorism mayor yesterday, and because the kids enjoy top 10 lists (like on the David Letterman show), and because it is the most obvious opportunity to strike since 9/11, here is your list of the best Giuliani references to America’s Holiday in the Sun, 9/11. After this, we hope to never speak about either Rudy Giuliani or 9/11 again. The very existence of Rudy’s campaign, after all, proved that the terrorists had won a long time ago. More »

1:11 PM on Wed Jan 30 2008
By Newell
8,950 views, 27 comments

Latest by MikeL: Giuliani could have prevented those tornadoes from smiting the states that voted for Huckabee, but don't let the smile fool you -- he's a sore loser. more »

two losers and a nut

ABC News Subliminally Suggests McCain's A Loser

Let’s see, John Edwards is a loser who just dropped out, Rudy Giuliani is a loser who just dropped out, and … whoa, hey, what’s Walnuts doing in this picture? Didn’t McCain win or something. Maybe ABCnews.com editors are just preparing us for the eventual tragic John McCain loss in November, to Ralph Nader. [ABC News]

1:02 PM on Wed Jan 30 2008
By KLayne
495 views, 10 comments

let a thousand failed wars bloom

McCain Victorious In Florida, Loves Rudy, Because Rudy Will Endorse Him

Did you know McCain lived for a few weeks or months in Florida, too? That’s what he just said. He “learned” to fly in Pensacola, but not so good. Let’s let John shine now, as he was, after all, TORTURED during his time living in Florida. (Really. He was based in Florida when he got shot down in Vietnam.) There’s Charlie Crist standing right behind John, and Charlie just looks jubilant! Let’s see if Ol’ Walnuts will say anything of interest …. More »

9:58 PM on Tue Jan 29 2008
By KLayne
2,197 views, 22 comments

Latest by bitchincamaro: What a neckface douchebag. more »

9/11

Rudy Is Talking, IS HE QUITTING?

Not sure yet, but he just made fun of Ron Paul for winning those “telephone voting” things after debates. It was really nasty! Stay tuned.

9:27 — He said something about New Hampshire, now he’s outlining his ENTIRE PLATFORM. This is looking very, very much like he will endorse McCain, and maybe drop out too.
9:30 — Did he say he’s quitting, and I missed it? He has said everything else, but not that.
9:32 — Now MSNBC is showing Mitt, so let’s just assume Rudy quit and end this 3-comment liveblog.
9:35 — Make it 4-comment: He is making an announcement tomorrow about his future, forcing some perfunctory national reporters and photographers to fly to his Quitting Cave to hear the damn word itself. Remember when he made fun of Ron Paul at the beginning of his speech? I am TOO excited to check out Ron Paul Forums now.

9:23 PM on Tue Jan 29 2008
By Newell
1,534 views, 55 comments

Latest by ivanspeakeasy: manhole is a gay bar in chicago, though it could just be code for manhole, the gay bar in chicago. more »

this one counts halfway

Hooray, McCain/Romney Wins Florida!

With 22% of the Florida precincts reporting, McCain is just ahead of Romney, 34%-31%. Guess who is the world’s biggest loser? Ron Paul! But the real loser is Rudy “Nobody Remembers 9/11 No More” Giuliani. He bet everything on Florida, say the teevee people. He spent $30 million here. But then Republicans actually thought for a moment about Rudy, and they all said, “No, no, that is one thing that will never ever be president of anything, not even 9/11.” Let’s live-blog this one, too. Or “liveblog” it, as they say in Florida. More »

9:02 PM on Tue Jan 29 2008
By KLayne
1,950 views, 45 comments

Latest by mrveryhard: this pic was teken at Gatorland...one of the last old time roadside attractions in Florida...it's in Orlando...last year...it burned to the ground, along with the classic concrete gator jaws entry...JUST LIKE 9/11! more »

SO YOU’RE SAYING HE WILL DROP OUT?: From The Page: “Giuliani expected to endorse McCain, as early as Wednesday — in Los Angeles or Simi Valley.” The story references its source as “SOURCES.” [The Page]

9 comments