An actual 21st-century human whose purpose in life is to slum around masturbating in the Royal Forest every day until his mother dies and he becomes “King of England,” after which his purpose in life will be to slum around masturbating in the Royal Forest every day, may never reacheth this apex of Masturbator-King of England — by his own divinations! Britannia’s beloved nut-child recently tooketh out his Golden TI-86 Calculator, entered Functions, and anatomized the percolations of his Arithmetick, only to ascertain — as orated by Royal Edict last e’en — “that we have just 96 months left to save the world.” Ball’s in your court, Gore. [Independent]

Just because it’s been a while (there just haven’t been any good ones!), here’s Rose Kennedy Schlossberg, granddaughter of JFK, Harvard class of ‘10, in a picture from her Facebook gallery:

Now we have no proof that there’s anything illicit going on here (water pipes are for tobacco, as we all know, and Ms. Schlossberg recently turned 18). Just as we have no proof that, in the picture after the jump, the lovely young lady is not simply holding a bottle of what could easily be juice. And with her family history, we kind of hope it is.

Update: It does appear to be a legitimate hookah — and yeah, that means probably tobacco. The other stuff gums up the works. Still more proof that the second picture depicts young Rose proudly and legally imbibing unfermented grape juice, possibly Welch’s.

MORE »

* American men are finding it more difficult to get laid in St. Petersburg. [Power Line]
* Royal families only permitted to hawk fad diets/marry their mistresses/dress like Nazis. [AMERICAblog]
* Nobody makes us mock our own president. Nobody. [The Jawa Report]
* For the last time: Israel. Doesn’t. Lobby. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Debt, lies, untamable balls of fire. Foreign policy is getting a little too predictable. [Informed Comment]