• A religious pilgrimage to the sacred “stone dildos” of Freiberg. Starring Matt Yglesias. Rated E for Everyone. [Matt Yglesias]
• Donald Rumsfeld does not care for the ‘Wiki-wakka.’ [Think Progress]
• First Obama was a member of the secretive Muslin Templar. Then he converted to Socialism. Then Ernst Röhm invited him to join the Sturmabteilung. And now Barack Obama is the Burger King. How does Obama find time for so many extra-curricular activities? [RedState]
• Barack Obama Stole My Golf Ball. Obama fan fiction, by Roy Blunt. [Huffington Post]
• Jonah Goldberg made a mixtape, just for you. [The Corner]

• Check out the latest hot erotica, Townhalls Gone Wild. Have your FEMA debit card ready! [DailyKos]
• R.I.P., Rupert Murdoch. We hardly knew ye. [Market Watch/Something Awful]
• The doorbell rings. Who could that be? you say to yourself. Oh, it’s a little Girl Scout, selling cookies. “Get lost kid. Already bought 10 boxes of them Thin Mints, from Walmart. And they were hella cheap too, because Walmart isn’t unionized.” The little girl starts to cry. Typical union guilt-trip trickery, you think to yourself. [Jeffrey Goldberg]
• “One could say that the way Obama was able to convince people that he really didn’t adhere to his own previously stated positions is much closer to the example of Adolph Hitler and Mein Kampf than it is to any part of the The Joker’s history.” Uh. We read RedState so you don’t have to. [RedState]
• In a shrewd political maneuver, Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) points out that he has a birth certificate, thus distancing himself from Barack Obama, forever. [TPM]

• THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to “Reclaim Our Majority,” which is why Roy Blunt’s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. [TPM Election Central]

This is one of the 500 e-mails sent by some committee associated with House Minority Whip Roy Blunt every fucking day. This time we opened it and it was actually quite funny, so maybe we should do that more often. There are at least 12 jokes involving puns, acronyms, gayness and fire in this, and each is funnier than anything a Democrat has ever said. [Republican Whip]

Dude above is Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA), who lashed out at House naysayers during yesterday’s SCHIP debate in somewhat controversial fashion. Minority Leader Roy Blunt is already calling for Democrats to denounce him post haste! And for him to denounce himself! MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Senate Foreign Relations staffers sends out an email about the President of Liberia. Email .sig is, naturally, a still from Friday with a hilarious and racially-insensitive quote beneath it… Phil Gingrey admitted to being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former Spanish PM Jose Maria Aznar canceled a lunch at Nathans when he learned that Spanish reporters would be there… Libby trial jurors all wore matching red t-shirts with white hearts on Valentine’s Day. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Ward 2 Council Member Jack Evans wants more Indian movies filmed in DC… Who’s to blame for yesterday not being a snow day? Office of Personnel Management Director Linda Springer. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Rahm Emanuel’s photo still hangs prominently at DCCC headquarters… Rep. Dan Burton apologized for skipping work to play golf. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Roy Blunt has a YouTube channel! But they’re deleting all the comments on the videos for bad language… Outgoing NATO Afghanistan commander Gen. Karl Eikenberry says we’re all at war with the “Islamist militant extremist fascist movement.” … Rep Wally Herger (R-CA) gave Rep. Roger Wicker (R-MS) a book of Mormon. Wicker’s a baptist. [Politico]

* Reliable Source: Nancy Pelosi fails to attend party for Nancy Pelosi. Adrian Fenty made it to a lot of parties… “Laura Bush, Condi Rice, Mary Matalin, Margaret Spellings and Harriet Miers [spotted] at Cactus Cantina for a surprise birthday party for Karen Hughes. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: “During a standing ovation for Pelosi, Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., easily won the prize for “first Republican to sit back down” … “According to Minority Whip Roy Blunt, R-Mo., what the job really calls for is not a whip but ‘kneepads.’” [Examiner]

Boehner and Blunt — leaders of the House Republicans! With that “new Congress smell” still fresh, the GOP has decided to reward the team that lost them the midterm elections with reelections to their leadership posts. MORE »

Washington people just never quit working. Bill Kristol rises early to have breakfast with congressmen, Michael Chertoff spends Friday nights securing the homeland’s movie theaters, and Valerie Plame reads political non-fiction on street corners cause she can’t get enough. And kindly father Alito (at right — ain’t he loveable?) spends his weekends carting his daughter’s luggage all over 37th street. This plus philandering soccer players, jaywalking TV gangsters, and mustachioed wrestlers, after the jump!

MORE »

He can’t quite seem to figure out how it happened, but Representative Roy Blunt seems to have accidentally convinced some funding-seekers to hire his former Chief of Staff as a lobbyist… MORE »

* House Appropriations Committee votes overwhelmingly to block Dubai ports deal; measure was attached to war spending bill. [WP]
* For Republican lawmakers, “political considerations” trump loyalty to Bush over port deal and, to a lesser extent, eavesdropping. Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO): “If there was ever a good time for Congress to figure out oversight, it would be in the sixth year of a presidency.” [NYT]
* Senate compromise would permit eavesdropping on Americans without court warrant; administration would have 45 days to prove individual cases. [NYT]
* Bush accuses Congress of underfunding Gulf Coast reconstruction: “Congress heard our message about improving the levees, but they shortchanged the process by about $1.5 billion.” [WP, NYT]
* Senators agree to reject meals and gifts from lobbyists. [WP, NYT]
* Jack Abramoff to Vanity Fair: “Any important Republican who comes out and says they didn’t know me is almost certainly lying.” [NYT]
* Senate Republicans try to trim Bush’s spending requests for defense and foreign aid. [W$J]
* South Dakota expected to start trend of states rethinking abortion rights; nine others are moving to limit the procedure. [W$J]
* Michael Chertoff looks for the high road as others point fingers of blame — and some directly at him. [NYT]