Wonkette

• THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to “Reclaim Our Majority,” which is why Roy Blunt’s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. [TPM Election Central]

This is one of the 500 e-mails sent by some committee associated with House Minority Whip Roy Blunt every fucking day. This time we opened it and it was actually quite funny, so maybe we should do that more often. There are at least 12 jokes involving puns, acronyms, gayness and fire in this, and each is funnier than anything a Democrat has ever said. [Republican Whip]

Dude above is Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA), who lashed out at House naysayers during yesterday’s SCHIP debate in somewhat controversial fashion. Minority Leader Roy Blunt is already calling for Democrats to denounce him post haste! And for him to denounce himself! MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Senate Foreign Relations staffers sends out an email about the President of Liberia. Email .sig is, naturally, a still from Friday with a hilarious and racially-insensitive quote beneath it… Phil Gingrey admitted to being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former Spanish PM Jose Maria Aznar canceled a lunch at Nathans when he learned that Spanish reporters would be there… Libby trial jurors all wore matching red t-shirts with white hearts on Valentine’s Day. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Ward 2 Council Member Jack Evans wants more Indian movies filmed in DC… Who’s to blame for yesterday not being a snow day? Office of Personnel Management Director Linda Springer. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Rahm Emanuel’s photo still hangs prominently at DCCC headquarters… Rep. Dan Burton apologized for skipping work to play golf. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Roy Blunt has a YouTube channel! But they’re deleting all the comments on the videos for bad language… Outgoing NATO Afghanistan commander Gen. Karl Eikenberry says we’re all at war with the “Islamist militant extremist fascist movement.” … Rep Wally Herger (R-CA) gave Rep. Roger Wicker (R-MS) a book of Mormon. Wicker’s a baptist. [Politico]

* Reliable Source: Nancy Pelosi fails to attend party for Nancy Pelosi. Adrian Fenty made it to a lot of parties… “Laura Bush, Condi Rice, Mary Matalin, Margaret Spellings and Harriet Miers [spotted] at Cactus Cantina for a surprise birthday party for Karen Hughes. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: “During a standing ovation for Pelosi, Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., easily won the prize for “first Republican to sit back down” … “According to Minority Whip Roy Blunt, R-Mo., what the job really calls for is not a whip but ‘kneepads.’” [Examiner]

Boehner and Blunt — leaders of the House Republicans! With that “new Congress smell” still fresh, the GOP has decided to reward the team that lost them the midterm elections with reelections to their leadership posts. MORE »

Washington people just never quit working. Bill Kristol rises early to have breakfast with congressmen, Michael Chertoff spends Friday nights securing the homeland’s movie theaters, and Valerie Plame reads political non-fiction on street corners cause she can’t get enough. And kindly father Alito (at right — ain’t he loveable?) spends his weekends carting his daughter’s luggage all over 37th street. This plus philandering soccer players, jaywalking TV gangsters, and mustachioed wrestlers, after the jump!

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He can’t quite seem to figure out how it happened, but Representative Roy Blunt seems to have accidentally convinced some funding-seekers to hire his former Chief of Staff as a lobbyist… MORE »

* House Appropriations Committee votes overwhelmingly to block Dubai ports deal; measure was attached to war spending bill. [WP]
* For Republican lawmakers, “political considerations” trump loyalty to Bush over port deal and, to a lesser extent, eavesdropping. Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO): “If there was ever a good time for Congress to figure out oversight, it would be in the sixth year of a presidency.” [NYT]
* Senate compromise would permit eavesdropping on Americans without court warrant; administration would have 45 days to prove individual cases. [NYT]
* Bush accuses Congress of underfunding Gulf Coast reconstruction: “Congress heard our message about improving the levees, but they shortchanged the process by about $1.5 billion.” [WP, NYT]
* Senators agree to reject meals and gifts from lobbyists. [WP, NYT]
* Jack Abramoff to Vanity Fair: “Any important Republican who comes out and says they didn’t know me is almost certainly lying.” [NYT]
* Senate Republicans try to trim Bush’s spending requests for defense and foreign aid. [W$J]
* South Dakota expected to start trend of states rethinking abortion rights; nine others are moving to limit the procedure. [W$J]
* Michael Chertoff looks for the high road as others point fingers of blame — and some directly at him. [NYT]

Things have “perked up” a lot since we complained about having nothing to blog about. Mr. Abramoff, is that a new House Majority Leader you have in your pocket — or are you just happy to see us? MORE »

* House, by narrow 216 to 214 vote, approves steep cuts in entitlement programs; viewed as victory for Majority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.). [WP, NYT, W$J, USAT]
* White House has scaled back their agenda; “Bush has come around to the notion that a presidency can handle only one truly big thing at a time, and for now that thing is Iraq.” [WP, LAT]
* Rep. Blunt expected to win race for House majority leader today. [LAT]
* Many House Republicans believe their leadership is going too far with proposed reforms for lobbying. [WP, NYT]
* Administration is rejecting Senate requests for legal opinions on NSA eavesdropping. [NYT]
* “Disorganization of Senate Democrats” created smooth path for Samuel Alito’s confirmation. [WP]
* U.S. Capitol Police chief apologizes for hassling Cindy Sheehan. [WP, NYT]
* Bush’s rhetorical push for energy independence is greeted with skepticism and “a lack of enthusiasm” on the Hill. [NYT, W$J]

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* Bush calls for alternative energy sources and increased spending on science and education; some ideas “were repackaged versions of proposals he has supported for years.” Bush: “The only way to protect our people, the only way to secure the peace, the only way to control our destiny is by our leadership, so the United States of America will continue to lead.” [WP, NYT, W$J, WT, USAT]
* State of the Union was “rooted in some harsh global and political realities,” but many of Bush’s proposals will not become reality. [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT]
* Samuel Alito is sworn in after confirmation vote of 58 to 42; perfectly timed to attend SOTU. [WP, NYT, NYT, W$J, LAT, USAT, WT]
* Cindy Sheehan arrested moments before Bush’s speech for being “boisterous” in the House gallery. [WP]
* Virginia Governor Tim Kaine offers Democratic response with the refrain, “Together, America can do better.” [WP, LAT]
* Bush made assertions that are not entirely true. [WP]
* Bush appeared more “solemn” than “cocksure.” [NYT]

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• Reliable Source: Patron rides Segway into Bistro Bis. . . Bush and the Belgian prime minister talked for nearly an hour about biking. . . For the inauguration of Liberia’s first female president, Barbara Bush was “‘Sex and the City’ chic in a skintight turquoise dress and open-toe snakeskin high-heels.” [WP]
• Under the Dome: Larry David is tickled to no end over sandwich coincidence. . . Rep. Roy Blunt’s (R-Mo.) campaign bought roybluntsucks.com and other variations. . . The Federal City Club is closing. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: White House pool report notes African “women balancing baskets on their heads.” [WT]