Wonkette

He was our greatest governor (of Virginia) and our greatest American senator. He loved the Confederate Flag, holding footballs, and terrorizing the Negroes. Also, he was photographed astride a horse, so he was obviously the new Ronald Reagan and was supposed to have an easy ride to the White House this year. But this legacy of greatness was destroyed by idiot liberals who had to make a big deal of his casual racism.

And now George Allen is refusing to run for governor again next year. Thanks a lot, jerk. What are we supposed to write about in ‘09 now?

Allen Won’t Run For Va. Governor [Washington Post]

I like how WALNUTS! is making it seem, as he does in this new ad, that he’s the only GOP candidate who supported the surge, which apparently is winning the Iraq war or some such. As if the thought of MORE WAR doesn’t keep a bloodthirsty Rudy Giuliani up at night! But what I really like in this ad is the arbitrary shot of Ronald Reagan. It’s only been two days since Mittens said McCain is failing “Reagan 101,” so McCain probably hopes this ad will bring his grade up to the C+/B- range. Reagan 101 is no easy A, but Ronald Reagan is an easy lay.

Mike Huckabee’s plan to send Hillary Clinton to Mars has put him atop another poll in Iowa, where the elections for student class president of Republica will take place one month from today. He leads Mitt “Sanctuary Mansion” Romney 29% to 24% in the new Des Moines Register poll, with Rudy “Sanctuary 9/11″ Giuliani at 13% and Fred “Sanctuary Dipshit McGoo” Thompson at 9%. But why is this Huckabee surging so much nowadays, beyond the fact that he’s skinny and people are finally acknowledging that? Wait — Is it actually this Chuck Norris endorsement? Is this ninja-ranger man really making teh Huckbeez teh likable? MORE »

If you’re freaked out over oil topping $90 a barrel for the first time in history, maybe this will add some depressing historical perspective: Oil topped $100 per barrel at another grim point in U.S. history when George Bush was first running for president and America’s imperial troubles in Iran and Iraq threatened our precious oil supply from the Persian Gulf — in 1980! MORE »

Don’t forget to tune in tomorrow when Ronald Reagan (Junior) appears on Air America’s great new Saturday show about being atheists. [Fox News]

Some little hipster clarinet player from NYU is claiming the Iraq invasion and occupation was all about securing oil supplies for America. Oh and what is that sticking out of Jazzbo Al’s tattered raincoat? A worn paperback of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” which he actually first read when she was writing it, when he was screwing some gal in Rand’s “inner circle” and writing angry letters to the New York Times about how “parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should.” That’s right, we’re talking about former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan! MORE »

Today, flags are at half mast — including Ronnie’s, in this undated publicity photo — and America is mourning as we say a fond farewell to America’s First Lady, actress Jane Wyman. Ms. Wyman was one of the wives of our greatest president, Ronald Reagan, before he replaced her with Nancy “Reagan” Davis. MORE »

One difference between St. Ronald Reagan and Hollywood Fred Thompson is that Thompson can actually act like a scary demagogic race-baiter southern politician, as you can see in this clip from the comedy classic “Fletch.” If there was, say, a libtard version of Fox News, this clip would be running pretty much nonstop. MORE »

Well, it’s Friday, and this is my last post of the day/month/year, and it is a YouTube clip of President Ronald Reagan saying, twice, in public, in front of television cameras, that he wants Space Monsters to invade Earth so we will have a common enemy and then be able to be friends with The French. And as crazy as it sounds, compared to “Let’s Blow Up All The Muslims” it is kind of charming. Happy Labor Days and Good-Bye.

Ronald Reagan and Aliens [YouTube]

If you’re the kind of DC gal who loves douchesack Young Republicans and you trawl Craigslist for fuck buddies yet you’re still too stupid to find a basic Ronald Reagan biography online, then have we ever got the man for you! MORE »

What’s more American than the Reagan-Bush administration arming the Islamofascist Islamists of Iran to pay the Ayatollahs back for releasing the American hostages as a political stunt to let Reagan and Bush 41 win the White House so they could pay international arms/drugs dealers to supply right-wing Central American death squads with money and weapons? These whimsical 1980s trading cards remind us that the same motherfucking people have been fucking up everything with the same fucking “enemies” or “allies” forever.

1980s: Iran-Contra Scandal Trading Cards [Authentic History Center]

Now that Reagan’s finally dead, GOP candidates need to the seek the magical blessing of other Sainted conservatives who aren’t related to Bush in any way. So they’re trekking over to Merrie Olde England to shake hands with the walking corpse of Maggie Thatcher. MORE »

Former Assistant Secretary of the Treasury Paul Craig Roberts appeared on the radio program of Radiohead lead singer Thom Hartmann to warn us all that there is a police state coming. Oddly, the former Reagan official is pretty sure the problem is with all the Republicans who came after his boss, whom all of them worship. Roberts is pretty sure Bush will invade Iran and declare himself President-for-life and send bloggers to gulags that don’t even have wifi. MORE »