ronald reagan
Ronald Reagan May Give Greatest Performance By Pretending To Tolerate Mitt Romney From The Grave
Fox News is hinting/wishing/masturbating furtively to the idea that the “surprise speaker” at the Republican National Convention tomorrow may be a hologram of Ronald Reagan.
Mitt Romney More Reaganesque Than Previously Realized
Reaganesque? Ol’ Mittens? The Man With the Golden Tongue? Sure, he’s got the hair, and the complete lack of devotion to anything resembling fact or verifiable truth, but really, Reaganesque? Yes, Mitt Romney is “Reaganesque,” by which we mean “balls-deep in murdering nuns and Latin American death squads.”
What Are We Naming After Ronald Reagan Today? (Hint: It Is ‘All The Oceans’)
Highly esteemed car robber and arsonist Darrell Issa is taking a moment’s break from his hectic schedule of arresting the president for purposely giving guns to Mexican gangsters so the UN can implement gun control in Colorado, and focusing on what really matters: naming the oceans after a great man whose main claim to fame [...]
National Review’s Style Guide Apparently Takes No Issue With ‘Wetbacks’
National Review famously maintains a roster of aging white nationalists to blab about the non-white aspects of American society in disparaging tones. This is not of my white ’50s culture, they write, and we must stop it. But usually they’ll at least work with sanitized think-tanky buzzwords to describe their pure belief that non-whites are [...]
‘Ronald Reagan Riding a Velociraptor’: Our National .JPG?
There comes a point in every young nation’s life — and rest assured, fellow Americans, we are but a young, albeit fading, nation — that its citizens must choose a National .JPG. This is considerably more important than selecting a National Mammal, so move to the back of the line, “bison.” Wolf Blitzer speaking to [...]
Fox Nation’s Latest Successful Trolling Effort: ‘Reagan Given Middle Finger In Obama White House’
It’s Friday, should we allow Fox Hip Hop BBQ Nation to troll us? Oh, it’s never a choice. Here’s the latest: “REAGAN GIVEN MIDDLE FINGER IN OBAMA WHITE HOUSE.” The photo shows Barack Obama and Michele Obama and Eric Holder wearing Che shirts and, yes, flipping off St. Ronaldus Magnus. Or are those just some [...]
Hey Liberals, Your Beloved Ray Bradbury Thought Reagan Was Greatest And The Best
Hey all you stupid liberals who love “books” and “reading” and “Ray Bradbury,” and whose Twitter feeds yesterday STOPPED TIME in its TRACKS at the news that the 187-year-old author of Something Wicked This Way Comes had finally succumbed to oldness in Los Angeles. Guess what? Ray Bradbury hated you! Or at least he hated [...]
Socialists Trying To Prevent Job Creator From Selling Reagan’s Blood
Let us tell you an instructive moral fable: Once upon a time there was a President, America’s Greatest, who was so Great that even though a crazy person shot him, and he bled profusely, he did not die, but went to stay president for years and years and years and fix all of our problems. [...]
The Refuterer: Margaret Thatcher Was Not Actually Ronald Reagan’s Secretary
ConservativeOutcry.net has our number, along with a new feature, “Wonkette Refuted,” responding to a “randomly chosen” article from Your Wonkette! The first victim? GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder! Unfortunately, this self-described “group of old men lamenting the destruction of the nation” seems to be unfamiliar with how the actual process of [...]
GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder!
Hey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the “political” “gimmick” that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan’s secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate as losers like you means punishing them for their success. ONLY YOU ARE TO BE PUNISHED, [...]
Here Is Your Weekend Video Of Ronald Reagan Being A Total Communist
Why is Ronald Reagan always trying to wage class warfare on executives paying less than their secretaries? Why does he want to punish people for success, by making them pay the same tax rate as a bunch of unemployed losers, like you? Why does Ronald Reagan hate Mitt Romney, and America? Maybe when he was [...]
Rick Santorum Groupies Have Written Him a Lovely Theme Song (VIDEO)
Horrified tipster “Willy T.” managed to type out the dire warning “MMMMUUUUUUUNNNNHHHHUHHHHHUHHUH” as he sent us this video, so we are guessing …brain aneurysm? We wish you a speedy recovery, “Willy!” The rest of you, you have been cautioned. This is… what is it? This is what the Pope means when he jabbers about temptation, [...]
‘Ronald Reagan Impose Your Beliefs On A Woman’s Womb Act’ Will Never Be
Do you remember the surreal “Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act of 2011,” the bill written in high-pitched banshee shrieks and designed to stem a fictional tide of sex- and race-based abortions? Remember how no one in real life — NO ONE — could figure out how the hell, exactly, this law [...]
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