Tag: ronald reagan

Flim and Flam Flem want their outfits back

Pretend Smart Person Ben Stein Thinks Donald Trump’s A Moron, Endorses Donald Trump

Goddamn Ben Stein let words dribble out of his goddamn mouth hole again, and the Guardian inexplicably wrote them down and printed them.

The Republican National Convention Is Going To Be Just So Gosh Darn Swell!

Nobody wants to go to Cleveland's big Republican National Convention hoop-de-doo :(

WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin Breaks Up With Abusive Dumb Nightmare Boyfriend, The GOP

The Washington Post's Jennifer Rubin breaks up with the GOP for being too crass, stupid, and angry. Maybe she is libertarian-curious?

Responsible Gun Owner Ted Nugent Thinks It’d Be Just Nifty If Hillary Got Shot

Ted Nugent makes case against gun control with doctored video of Hillary Clinton being assassinated.

Maybe Don’t Stiff Your Server Because You’re Mad About Apartheid

What reason is someone using to avoid having to tip now? Oh, Apartheid? Well, that's a new one. Cool. An Oxford University student named Ntokozo Qwabe created something of a viral storm after celebrating his friend's shitty treatment of...
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Donald Trump Gives Serious Foreign Policy Speech Like A Big Boy

Now that Donald Trump has declared himself the Republican Nominee, High Pooh-Bah, and All-Father of the World (Dilute! Dilute!), it's time for him to start Acting Presidential, so he gave a Very Serious Foreign Policy Address today. How serious...
Shoulda gone with Prince

Phyllis Schlafly Says Michele Bachmann Too Stupid To Be New Phyllis Schlafly

Conservative All-Mother Phyllis Schlafly (yes, she's still alive, stop being so surprised!) revealed Wednesday in an interview with Alex Jones that, in the continuing mishegas over control of the Eagle Forum, the rightwing group she founded, she once considered...

Pussy Obama Refuses To Start WWIII, Is That Even Legal?

While you were all eating cornflakes and thinking about hamster porn early this week, Vladimir Putin was being a dick. I know, right, what is up with that? Specifically, Putin was being a dick by sending a couple of Russian...
Now Kissinger -- he's my Jew.

The Time Merle Haggard Played The Nixon White House, Even Though He Was A Felon

Country music legend Merle Haggard died Wednesday on his 79th birthday, but did you know that it was once Very Controversial when he performed for Pat Nixon's birthday party at the White House on March 17, 1973? Not merely...
Donald Trump with his First Lady AKA his daughter.

Donald Trump Would Have Classiest, Most Elegant Abortions, Just Terrific

<a href="http://wonkette.com/600212/donald-trump-will-bomb-sht-out-of-ladies-who-have-abortions-murder-their-families"></a>What does Donald Trump believe about abortion? Donald Trump does not know. Last Wednesday, he set the internet aflame when he said that hey, if abortion is a crime, then somebody (THE LADY!) should be punished for criming....
Listen up, you Messico losers!

Donald Trump Will Bomb Sh*t Out Of Ladies Who Have Abortions, Murder Their Families

Uh oh. Donald Trump accidentally said a true thing about illegal abortions. Wait, what the what? Donald Trump sparked a firestorm on Wednesday after saying that women should be punished for getting illegal abortions. “There has to be some form of...

Republican Presidential Candidates Bunch Of Backstabbing Liars, Basically

You will not believe this, but the man-children running for the GOP presidential nomination have been caught saying lies! Remember how a long time ago, when we were all little kids and the 2016 Republican slate promised they would support...

Ross Douthat Hopes GOP Convention Will Save GOP From Terrifying Trump Monster

Oh god, what must it be like to be a self-styled moderate Republican writing for the New York Times right now? In another era, you'd have been to the manor born, but instead you are required to bang out...

Hillary Clinton Sorry She Tried To Say Nice Thing About Dead Lady, Won’t Do It Again

Hillary Clinton went and put her foot in her wherever Friday afternoon, and Twitter had itself a good afternoon of its favorite emotion: aghastness. Then her social media people read her @ mentions and she realized that, in trying...
We don't even WANT context for this. Don't cry for Easter, Argentina.

A Firm Yet Tender, Sex-Positive Tribute To Nancy Reagan, Hollywood BJ Queen

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan, the woman who reputedly gave the greatest blowjobs in Hollywood and gave America the "Just Say No To Drugs" campaign, which ultimately proved far less satisfying, has died at the age of 94. Get...

GOP Candidates Pledge To Bend Over For Donald Trump’s Beautiful Penis In November

If you're like many Republicans, you know that Donald J. Trump is NOT going to Make America Great Again, is NOT as tremendous as he thinks he is, and also probably has one of those little tiny penises that looks...