ronald reagan
Let us tell you an instructive moral fable: Once upon a time there was a President, America’s Greatest, who was so Great that even though a crazy person shot him, and he bled profusely, he did not die, but went to stay president for years and years and years and fix all of our problems. [...]
ConservativeOutcry.net has our number, along with a new feature, “Wonkette Refuted,” responding to a “randomly chosen” article from Your Wonkette! The first victim? GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder! Unfortunately, this self-described “group of old men lamenting the destruction of the nation” seems to be unfamiliar with how the actual process of [...]
Hey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the “political” “gimmick” that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan’s secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate as losers like you means punishing them for their success. ONLY YOU ARE TO BE PUNISHED, [...]
Why is Ronald Reagan always trying to wage class warfare on executives paying less than their secretaries? Why does he want to punish people for success, by making them pay the same tax rate as a bunch of unemployed losers, like you? Why does Ronald Reagan hate Mitt Romney, and America? Maybe when he was [...]
Horrified tipster “Willy T.” managed to type out the dire warning “MMMMUUUUUUUNNNNHHHHUHHHHHUHHUH” as he sent us this video, so we are guessing …brain aneurysm? We wish you a speedy recovery, “Willy!” The rest of you, you have been cautioned. This is… what is it? This is what the Pope means when he jabbers about temptation, [...]
Do you remember the surreal “Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act of 2011,” the bill written in high-pitched banshee shrieks and designed to stem a fictional tide of sex- and race-based abortions? Remember how no one in real life — NO ONE — could figure out how the hell, exactly, this law [...]
‘Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses recoiling from strange Iowa smells, Of corn syrup fields, and thick [...]
A notorious hedge fund manager found guilty of the most blatant insider securities trading since the Reagan Era was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison today, which experts hope will “calm everyone the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution.” But the fat, diabetic billionaire’s mild prison sentence for his organized crime spree and [...]
Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. [...]
Dr. Ron Paul’s portion of the Internet is goin’ nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he just hate freedom so much that he went over and tried to beat up a whiny [...]
Did they miss anything? Thanks to whoever suffered through two hours of GOP debate video to find the only word and the only name that matters. [BuzzFeed via @stevesilberman]
We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night’s debate liveblogging — this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers ‘n lamers who must be banned — but a cursory glance last night revealed that nobody matched the goblins in our Republican Debate Blingee [...]
WHO HAS ALREADY PASSED OUT from alcohol poisoning, or masturbation, or both together for those extra magical unicorn points? Are you still with us? Is anyone still left, in America? We are not here, we are ghosts. None of this is real. Ronald Reagan is just the star of your zombie porn collection and Rick [...]
