Tag Archives: ronald reagan

  YOOOGE if true

Donald Trump: I Invented The Word ‘America.’ YOU’RE WELCOME!

Trump/Trump for president
Donald Trump is having a bad week. No sooner does he announce his intention to pretend to run for president than the dumb not-even-really-American-wink-wink Ted Cruz copycats him and does the same thing, what a jerk. But worse, Cruz has stolen Trump’s Very Unique applause line that Donald Trump thought up his own self, with his own YOOOGE brain: Read more on Donald Trump: I Invented The Word ‘America.’ YOU’RE WELCOME!…
  Bend over so Phyllis Schlafly can give you your 85 birthday spankings

Happy Birthday Pat Robertson, You Are Not Dead!

Pat Robertson had a birthday on Sunday, and there was a party! It was a very nice party, and just like all balls-out birthday benders do, it had a keynote speaker named Dr. Ben Carson. (Yes, THAT Dr. Ben Carson.) The doctor said many nice words about America’s Jesus Grandpa, like how he is so positive about everything, as opposed to the negative people (GAYS). Also making an appearance in this here commemorative video is the booby-draper himself, former Secretary of State John Ashcroft. Luckily, he didn’t have to drape any boobies at Robertson’s party, they came pre-draped! Ashcroft said, and we quote, that he doesn’t want Pat Robertson to stop using his voice, because “America needs it, and I needs it.” Read more on Happy Birthday Pat Robertson, You Are Not Dead!…
  One Strike You're Out

President Scott Walker Will Beat Foreign Enemies Just Like Reagan, By Firing Air Traffic Controllers

Hey, Walky, watch me pull foreign policy outta my ass!
Scott Walker was out proving his foreign policy expertise again this weekend, Wisconsplaining how not knowing diddly about those foreigns isn’t really all that important as long as you have the mental toughness to break a union or two. For instance, just look at what Walker said was Ronald Reagan’s greatest foreign-policy achievement: firing all the striking air traffic controllers in 1981. This is what sets Scott Walker apart from other Republicans. Where the average Republican would reflexively say tax cuts are the solution to every problem, Scott Walker boldly goes with union busting. Read more on President Scott Walker Will Beat Foreign Enemies Just Like Reagan, By Firing Air Traffic Controllers…
  letter from moscow

Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Am Preparing To Surrender Mother Russia To Scott Walker

Look closely at the fear in Vladimir's eyes.
Greetings of day to you, illiterate Western scum! I, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, am happy to make speaking to you again here on Wonkette dot com! You have all recovered from watching of decadent movie award show, yes? Very political show this year, with talk of all the black men you have in prison and women you do not pay money to and such. Very embarrassing. At Russian Oscars, Mr. John Legend and Ms. Patricia Arquette would have been dragged out behind theater and been shot. Along with director who did not cut their microphones. Technicians who hooked up microphones. Cameramen who did not pan cameras away. Entire audience that applauded … you get picture. Read more on Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Am Preparing To Surrender Mother Russia To Scott Walker…
  We Have Some Fun With It

Dana Loesch Has Very Clever, Satirical Humor Thoughts About Dumb Ay-rabs

Dana Loesch, America's greatest living satirist
Move over, Mark Twain, because there’s a new master of English-language political satire, and it is bespectacled she-troll Dana Loesch! It has been a while since Loesch graced us with her signature brand of satire. Thankfully, she is here with a new video to remind us all why conservatives suck at satire and why you avoided on-campus sketch comedy troupes when you were in college. Here’s Dana’s new video called “Jobs for Jihadis,” it is very funny, and we think you will enjoy the film’s high production values and smart writing. We will blockquote some of our favorite dialogue at you, because it is really clever. Read more on Dana Loesch Has Very Clever, Satirical Humor Thoughts About Dumb Ay-rabs…
  Toxic Sludge Is Good For You!

Oil Companies Pumping Waste Into California’s Water, It’s Probably Fine

Here, try some iced fracking fluid.
This story supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil and Chemical Spills, Fracking, and Groundwater Enhancement You probably heard about this big drought in California, especially if you live there and you haven’t washed your car for months because of rationing and stuff (as opposed to those of us who just don’t wash our cars because we call road dust a “patina”). It’s a seriously bad thing, and if your state is pumping so much groundwater that the ground is literally sinking in some areas, then you might just be a bit concerned about the San Fransisco Chronicle’s investigation of oil companies pumping wastewater from drilling operations right down into Central Valley aquifers containing drinkable water. Legally, with permission from state regulators. Since 1983. Read more on Oil Companies Pumping Waste Into California’s Water, It’s Probably Fine…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember When Reagan Went To A Whites-Only Golf Course And Fought MLK Day?

On a day when many rightwingers now claim that Martin Luther King really agreed with them, Rachel Maddow takes us back to 1983, when the right was at least honest about their feelings toward King: They considered him a communist who wasn’t worth a national holiday. Ronald Reagan only reluctantly came to accept a King holiday as inevitable, and after deciding to sign a bill declaring a federal holiday, had to call Coretta Scott King to apologize for writing a letter to a John Birch Society leader saying he shared the Bircher’s reservations about a King holiday, and that popular sentiment for King was “based on an image, not reality.” Reagan made that call shortly before visiting Augusta National Golf Course, which at the time allowed only white members, a policy it didn’t reverse until 1990. Imagine that. Mrs. King accepted the apology, and then later that weekend Reagan oversaw the invasion of Grenada in his pajamas: Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember When Reagan Went To A Whites-Only Golf Course And Fought MLK Day?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Youngsters Know Nothing Of Ronald Reagan’s Work

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
It’s been a little while since we’ve skimmed the foam off the top of the waste lagoon that is our Comments Queue, and so let’s see what’s bubbled to the top. Please make sure you’re wearing OSHA-compliant eye and cerebral cortex protection. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Youngsters Know Nothing Of Ronald Reagan’s Work…
  Not The Moral Equivalent Of The Founding Fathers But No Slouch

Vatican Decides El Salvador’s Archbishop Romero Died For Jesus, Not Marx

We *think* this is a tribute...
Big Catholic news: Archbishop Oscar Romero just might be a saint, even if he was a liberal. A panel of theologians that considers cases for sainthood has determined that when Romero was murdered by a rightwing death squad in 1980, he was not just the victim of a political assassination, but also a martyr to the cause of Jesus and the faith. We guess the Vatican is no longer officially the same place where John Paul II warned against the threat of “liberation theology!” This bit of wrangling angels into an acceptable position on the head of a pin is a significant step toward Romero’s possible canonization as a saint, which is a seriously weird process of theological bureaucracy. Read more on Vatican Decides El Salvador’s Archbishop Romero Died For Jesus, Not Marx…
  Here have some news n stuff

GOP Looks To The Future, Thinks It Over, Sells Reagan/Bush T-Shirts Instead

So fashion forward!
Republicans are SO going to take back the White House in 2016 from those evil Democrats who’ve been in control of everything for the last 30 years, THANKS OBAMA. And they’ll do it with cutting-edge technology and 21st century ideas. What, why are you laughing? Read more on GOP Looks To The Future, Thinks It Over, Sells Reagan/Bush T-Shirts Instead…
  One Angry Dwarf

Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

It may have been a holiday weekend, but the news never stops — and neither does sleazy reporting remora Chuck C. Johnson, who can always find a way to say something surreally horrifying about almost anything. Consider that missing AirAsia flight, for instance, which led Mr. Johnson to think with his Johnson: Read more on Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia…
  A nation of suckers

Stupid Americans Still Admire Obama And Clinton The Most, Even Though They Are The Worst

They still love us. Suckers!
Jeez, America, how dumb can you be? You know President Obama is the worst president who ever presidented because the completely not-biased opposing political party keeps telling us so. And yet, because you are SO dumb, America, you insist on liking the guy anyway because you are so dumb like we said: Read more on Stupid Americans Still Admire Obama And Clinton The Most, Even Though They Are The Worst…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  If you love America you'll burn it to the ground

Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies

This is his clever face
Some people might be glad Congress decided to switch things up a bit and actually do some work on Thursday night to keep the government open and functioning. (Yes, we know what “functioning” means, and yes, we’re using that term loosely.) Read more on Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies…
  What About A Travel Ban?

Oh Great, Now Obama Wants To Cure AIDS

As if Obummer hasn’t done enough to destroy America, now he wants to cure AIDS. Ugh, what next, cheap gas? Instead of showing true leadership by ignoring AIDS completely, like a real president would, or having his drug czar explain how marijuana leads to being gay leads to dying of AIDS, Barack Obama took almost three whole minutes out of his day, when he should be doing other things like impeaching himself and apologizing to Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson, to make a video recognizing that it is World AIDS Day. Gawd, what a jerk. Read more on Oh Great, Now Obama Wants To Cure AIDS…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)

The fax pun isn't integral to the story. But if Rachel were a wizard, her horse would be named Maddowfax.
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show kicked off with one of those “where’s she going?” bits, about the odd technologically outmoded conversations between Pope Francis and his best American bud, Cardinal Seán O’Malley — they fax each other all the time, as a 60 Minutes profile detailed this week. Turns out, one of the things O’Malley is big on is immigration reform, and there’s the hook for the real focus of this segment: The Catholic Church didn’t like several provisions of Ronald Reagan’s 1986 immigration reform act, and when Congress couldn’t get the votes together to fix them, Reagan issued an executive order to change how the immigration laws were enforced. George H.W. Bush also issued executive orders to exempt some categories of people from deportation. In total, the tweaks allowed some 1.5 million people to stay in the country, without any approval from Congress. Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)…
  Here have some news n stuff

Awww, Is Justice Scalia Having A Bad Day? Good.

What's the difference between real life and TV? Who knows? Who cares?
You’ve probably heard by now that yet another state — this time, the Kansas-shaped one — has gone and gotten itself all gayed up and equalified, thanks to a very brief “yup, go ahead and marry whomever you want, we are so bored with this conversation” order from the Supreme Court on Wednesday. It’s hardly even news anymore when you think about it, because, AHEM, this is what is happening right here in these United States in this, the 21st century. But there’s one interesting little thing to note about this particular order, per SCOTUSblog: Read more on Awww, Is Justice Scalia Having A Bad Day? Good….
  lectures from the schoolmarm

Peggy Noonan’s Dead Aunt Is Smarter Than You

Another drinkie-poo? Are you really asking me that?
Graciousness! A lost art in America, Peggy Noonan mused to herself as she wandered the marbled halls of her Upper East Side manse with a pitcher of gin-and-NyQuil martinis in one hand and her Aunt Mary’s framed Ellis Island health card in the other. The card had notches in it to indicate that Aunt Mary had passed the examination of a shipboard doctor every day during her passage across the ocean to America in 1909, back when the country feared the dirty plagues carried by the filthy Irish from their home counties of Cork or Dork or Fie-de-Horsecow, or wherever. In America, Aunt Mary had pinned the card to her coat and worn it everywhere to let her new countrymen know that she was not one of those Irish, but a clean and (of course) gracious woman who would not infect anyone with potato blight. Read more on Peggy Noonan’s Dead Aunt Is Smarter Than You…
  Sweet Dreams And Flying Machines In Pieces On The Ground

Space Case Donald Trump Hates Private Enterprise Now

Burnin' out his fuse up there alone
An unmanned Antares rocket exploded seconds after liftoff from a facility in Virginia yesterday, with the total loss of a payload of food, water, and scientific experiments bound for the International Space Station. It was pretty spectacular: Read more on Space Case Donald Trump Hates Private Enterprise Now…